Aurelia
and my hands aren't clean
maybe they never will be
maybe they never will be
She's surprised by the sentiment. To speak of the life of a creature as if it measured up to that of a person's. As if she had killed a person. Though, of course, she has. Just not here, not in this world, and very few people know that - though it's a weight she still wrestles against regardless.
But in comparison? Taking that innocent creature's life was nothing to the cruelty Aurelia knows herself capable of. No, she did not even grant it a second thought and not for lack of virtue but for numbness of heart. To her, it was little else than the very tip of that iceberg. A single flake in contrast to a wall of ice.
Or fire, if you prefer a more literal analogy.
As Aurelia turns, she feels the weight of the world shift and encumber. It's enough to make her halt, to force her to halt. Her feet suddenly feel pounds heavier and she shoots a stony glare directly at the girl she thinks she knows is responsible for this sudden, otherwise unexplainable energy. A heated breath billows out slowly through her nostrils.
"They used it to block the doorway, it was only after we attacked it that it moved," she states simply, though she knows that won't be enough of an answer for this bleeding heart, "they risked its life for violence that was unnecessary. If you want to blame me because they aren't here to answer for it, then fine," she lifts her chin - though it's difficult - and her jaw clenches, "blame me."
Her muscles shake with the effort it takes to withstand the power holding her in place. As she glares across at the younger woman in front of her, she can clearly see the innocence within it. Not like a child's innocence, though. It's different, lacking in a worldly understanding. Perhaps she had never seen anything die like that. Aurelia has forgotten what that kind of innocence felt like.
With more empathy in her voice, she quietly says, "I'm sorry that you had to see it, but what's done is done and there is no taking it back. I would that I could." And that goes far beyond the companion.
But in comparison? Taking that innocent creature's life was nothing to the cruelty Aurelia knows herself capable of. No, she did not even grant it a second thought and not for lack of virtue but for numbness of heart. To her, it was little else than the very tip of that iceberg. A single flake in contrast to a wall of ice.
Or fire, if you prefer a more literal analogy.
As Aurelia turns, she feels the weight of the world shift and encumber. It's enough to make her halt, to force her to halt. Her feet suddenly feel pounds heavier and she shoots a stony glare directly at the girl she thinks she knows is responsible for this sudden, otherwise unexplainable energy. A heated breath billows out slowly through her nostrils.
"They used it to block the doorway, it was only after we attacked it that it moved," she states simply, though she knows that won't be enough of an answer for this bleeding heart, "they risked its life for violence that was unnecessary. If you want to blame me because they aren't here to answer for it, then fine," she lifts her chin - though it's difficult - and her jaw clenches, "blame me."
Her muscles shake with the effort it takes to withstand the power holding her in place. As she glares across at the younger woman in front of her, she can clearly see the innocence within it. Not like a child's innocence, though. It's different, lacking in a worldly understanding. Perhaps she had never seen anything die like that. Aurelia has forgotten what that kind of innocence felt like.
With more empathy in her voice, she quietly says, "I'm sorry that you had to see it, but what's done is done and there is no taking it back. I would that I could." And that goes far beyond the companion.
but they can still carry you home
when you're ready to sleep
when you're ready to sleep
