Aurelia
and my hands aren't clean
maybe they never will be
maybe they never will be
Aurelia watches as the girl before her struggles to let this go, wiles against her own flaring temper, and spouts more of her righteousness. There's no anger of Aurelia's own to meet it halfway, no willingness to fight and destroy just because someone thinks differently - even if she believes it is ignorant and, for lack of a better word, unimportant.
She leans back. No, she takes a step back through the weight that wants to anchor her. She'd rather leave this be than be the one to explain hard lessons to a childish girl. This isn't for her to explain. Doesn't this kid have parents? Go ask them why do bad things happen, Aurelia wants to say, but before she can summon the words the girl is stepping back too. She's also extending a hand, which Aurelia stares down at in clear confusion.
The name cuts cold through her memory and her pale green eyes flash back to Seren's face. The explanation of being Safrin's daughter isn't needed after that, though it helps in confirming what Aurelia already knows of Seren's name. Although the attempt is soaked in passive agression, Aurelia ignores it. She takes the hand, grips it tight. "My name is Aurelia Murlow, Arbiter of Torchline."
"You are not your mother," her gaze drifts across Seren's face and there's a coarseness to her tones that she can't quite force out, "I don't owe you anything, so don't pretend otherwise. Let me tell you something now, Seren; the more you try to understand, the darker it gets. What you want me to say is a lot different from reality. I will only tell you the truth, though, since you seem to think you want it."
"I killed that creature, not because it was innocent, but because it wasn't. I'm not from this world, but I know enough from my time here to understand that companions are not just animals, but extensions of yourself," she glances at the dragon companion Seren has, "your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings... your plans. Tell me your companion doesn't know them, doesn't feel them too... You can't. You cannot call a creature innocent when its purpose is to aid in your violence."
"Where I'm from... setting a public building on fire would've been enough to warrant a death sentence. Do you know who was tasked with killing those criminals?" Her brows furrow and her lip curls into an almost-snarl, "Me. And know this, because this is very important to remember: I was glad to do it."
But she doesn't miss a beat here, and this is where her emotions come undone, where her voice shakes and lifts with years of anger, "Do you know why I would take that job in the first place? Why I'd want to kill criminals? Someone killed my father in a fire just like that - for whatever reason, for no reason at all. My entire life was destroyed from that point on. Piece by piece. 'Why' is a question I've been asking my whole life. So don't ask me."
She shakes her head bitterly, eyes glazed over and suddenly her shoulders sag and those hard lines on her face lower. "I don't have an answer."
She leans back. No, she takes a step back through the weight that wants to anchor her. She'd rather leave this be than be the one to explain hard lessons to a childish girl. This isn't for her to explain. Doesn't this kid have parents? Go ask them why do bad things happen, Aurelia wants to say, but before she can summon the words the girl is stepping back too. She's also extending a hand, which Aurelia stares down at in clear confusion.
The name cuts cold through her memory and her pale green eyes flash back to Seren's face. The explanation of being Safrin's daughter isn't needed after that, though it helps in confirming what Aurelia already knows of Seren's name. Although the attempt is soaked in passive agression, Aurelia ignores it. She takes the hand, grips it tight. "My name is Aurelia Murlow, Arbiter of Torchline."
"You are not your mother," her gaze drifts across Seren's face and there's a coarseness to her tones that she can't quite force out, "I don't owe you anything, so don't pretend otherwise. Let me tell you something now, Seren; the more you try to understand, the darker it gets. What you want me to say is a lot different from reality. I will only tell you the truth, though, since you seem to think you want it."
"I killed that creature, not because it was innocent, but because it wasn't. I'm not from this world, but I know enough from my time here to understand that companions are not just animals, but extensions of yourself," she glances at the dragon companion Seren has, "your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings... your plans. Tell me your companion doesn't know them, doesn't feel them too... You can't. You cannot call a creature innocent when its purpose is to aid in your violence."
"Where I'm from... setting a public building on fire would've been enough to warrant a death sentence. Do you know who was tasked with killing those criminals?" Her brows furrow and her lip curls into an almost-snarl, "Me. And know this, because this is very important to remember: I was glad to do it."
But she doesn't miss a beat here, and this is where her emotions come undone, where her voice shakes and lifts with years of anger, "Do you know why I would take that job in the first place? Why I'd want to kill criminals? Someone killed my father in a fire just like that - for whatever reason, for no reason at all. My entire life was destroyed from that point on. Piece by piece. 'Why' is a question I've been asking my whole life. So don't ask me."
She shakes her head bitterly, eyes glazed over and suddenly her shoulders sag and those hard lines on her face lower. "I don't have an answer."
but they can still carry you home
when you're ready to sleep
when you're ready to sleep
