This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world
She had considered it. Counting off the faces, the conversations, random encounters with people that stretched back to her first footsteps upon Caido's soil. Her judgments had been put into question by the reactions of others, however. A scowling Sunjata facing off against Loren for daring to speak with her, Remi chasing after the same Loren in a towering rage one Leafchange festival, her father's tense expression upon hearing of portal travels and cautions about being snatched away for some insidious reason never elaborated upon. Sah's most recent cautions, on what might happen if her trust was exploited and used to harm her family, her friends - sentiments Harper had elaborated upon. The only logical conclusion she could see was that somewhere, somehow there must be a lapse in judgement. Hers? Theirs? Seren had no idea.
Feeling a pounding headache begin to set in, she pressed the balls of her hands into the eyes until they stung. It was a never-ending loop, and the more she stared into it the worse everything felt. "I don't mind risking it myself," she answered him weakly, "but I will not risk my family. Or my friends. The consequences if I screw up..." With war brewing and her loved ones about to step onto front lines and into fire, it could not be allowed to happen.
So how did she stop being herself? How could she ever open up to a stranger again, if she didn't dare trust in her own judgement? It was a horrible slippery slope that would turn her bitter and lonely - "Gods, I want to stop thinking!" she half growled into her hands; this was becoming ridiculous.
Harper's reassurances made her blush, on top of everything else. He might know exactly where he stood, but how was she to know? "Sorry. I'm just not used to - anything like this." A hug could just be a hug, or have a thousand implications, and the lines where something innocent bled into nuances was a foreign script to the young girl.
Quickly growing fed up with herself, with the hopelessly tangled thoughts and the growing tightness in her chest, Seren backed up even more. Needing space, needing to breathe - she wasn't running from Harper, exactly, but from herself. The heel of her boot knocked a pebble over the edge. It tumbled soundlessly into the void, but the girl didn't seem to notice.
Feeling a pounding headache begin to set in, she pressed the balls of her hands into the eyes until they stung. It was a never-ending loop, and the more she stared into it the worse everything felt. "I don't mind risking it myself," she answered him weakly, "but I will not risk my family. Or my friends. The consequences if I screw up..." With war brewing and her loved ones about to step onto front lines and into fire, it could not be allowed to happen.
So how did she stop being herself? How could she ever open up to a stranger again, if she didn't dare trust in her own judgement? It was a horrible slippery slope that would turn her bitter and lonely - "Gods, I want to stop thinking!" she half growled into her hands; this was becoming ridiculous.
Harper's reassurances made her blush, on top of everything else. He might know exactly where he stood, but how was she to know? "Sorry. I'm just not used to - anything like this." A hug could just be a hug, or have a thousand implications, and the lines where something innocent bled into nuances was a foreign script to the young girl.
Quickly growing fed up with herself, with the hopelessly tangled thoughts and the growing tightness in her chest, Seren backed up even more. Needing space, needing to breathe - she wasn't running from Harper, exactly, but from herself. The heel of her boot knocked a pebble over the edge. It tumbled soundlessly into the void, but the girl didn't seem to notice.
Seren
