did goodbye mean letting go?
It hurts so much worse than she thought it ever possibly could. Atlas is not there to help tether her, to mitigate the emotional burden. There is only her, and what has that ever amounted to in the past? At first she confuses Sunjata's emotions for her own, so similar they must be, and her face turns slightly away in a twitching retreat when she realizes it's not. Attunement is still new to her, its abilities fledgling in her grasp, and Hotaru hates that it means she cannot fully hide herself from him if he cares enough to look. Grief, betrayal, regret - all of it upheld by an undercurrent of love so bittersweet it makes her teeth ache.
Part of her wants to rejoice over how worn and weary they look. She doesn't - or perhaps can't. Hotaru knows she looks the same, pregnancy making her wan instead of glowing in these rough early months. She faces them bravely all the same, quietly accepting their various forms of armor against her. As quiet and passive as they've likely ever seen her. There's no hiding her own aching hurt from Sunjata, but the least she can do is hide it from her face.
Both are given brief moments of eye contact. She can't bear anything longer. It reminds her of Frey, lounging on the rock wearing irises that belong to both of them, and how if it hadn't been for Remi's presence and the sexual allure of the deity it would have broken what little remains inside her. The sound of their voices echoing one after the other is another type of hurt. Exclusionary, unified. Aching all over with the way she craves to hear more despite how bitterly angry and hurt she is. As if her heart as ever listened. As if her desires have ever mattered.
"I'm not here to fight," she assures, voice soft and as devoid of emotion as she can make it, though that hold is tenuous at best. Stepping forward makes her knees feel like they'll give out, but they hold her upright no matter how everything else screams in rejection of the idea. Hovering outside of their boundaries which she allows herself to estimate much larger than others, she waits silently for them to show her the way to wherever it is they want to do this.
Part of her wants to rejoice over how worn and weary they look. She doesn't - or perhaps can't. Hotaru knows she looks the same, pregnancy making her wan instead of glowing in these rough early months. She faces them bravely all the same, quietly accepting their various forms of armor against her. As quiet and passive as they've likely ever seen her. There's no hiding her own aching hurt from Sunjata, but the least she can do is hide it from her face.
Both are given brief moments of eye contact. She can't bear anything longer. It reminds her of Frey, lounging on the rock wearing irises that belong to both of them, and how if it hadn't been for Remi's presence and the sexual allure of the deity it would have broken what little remains inside her. The sound of their voices echoing one after the other is another type of hurt. Exclusionary, unified. Aching all over with the way she craves to hear more despite how bitterly angry and hurt she is. As if her heart as ever listened. As if her desires have ever mattered.
"I'm not here to fight," she assures, voice soft and as devoid of emotion as she can make it, though that hold is tenuous at best. Stepping forward makes her knees feel like they'll give out, but they hold her upright no matter how everything else screams in rejection of the idea. Hovering outside of their boundaries which she allows herself to estimate much larger than others, she waits silently for them to show her the way to wherever it is they want to do this.
and did letting go mean forever?
HOTARU
