did goodbye mean letting go?
They snap like alligators in an infested pond, but it’s like watching through the thick panes of glass in an aquarium. Distant and meaningless. They can rage all they want, Hotaru has had a lifetime of practice hiding away inside herself before she had the power and ability to defend herself more properly. “Of course I knew - he spent every moment with me while we were on Torchline soil, exactly as I asked him to do. You think I didn’t notice the moment he disappeared?” More truth. Hotaru had been terrified of what might happen should she move through this place without his steadying presence. Though she refuses to look at them, Nate’s addition to the comment is still answered. “He didn’t have to ‘sneak past me’ when I didn’t suspect him by then. I’m not his keeper.” Only his best friend, and Deimos is no dog on a leash for her to eye and scrutinize the way they do to him. “I don’t expect you to believe anything but the worst,” she disagrees flatly, not even shrugging. Accepting of their anger and derision. “But you can ask those I sent out - I arrived alone. Deimos was already inside. Yes, because I told him - I’m not denying that mistake.”
The outburst of emotion slides past her like the muffled buzzing of bees. Deimos’ threats aren’t her own, and their attacks against him likely would only raise his brow. As much as she’d like to defend him instinctively, there’s no point in wasting her energy. This is purely political. Keep it that way. It’s the mantra that keeps her going. “You don’t think hearing about the Advocates would have pissed him off?” That he wouldn’t break his vow for that? Hotaru is surprised Deimos hasn’t burned the Kraai yet frankly. “Why should I have to be interrogated for motives of another person I tried to stop? Someone who has already given his admission to starting it to his own Warden no less?” And this is what baffles her. Are they simply too scared to confront Deimos himself? Or did they just bring her here under the guise of a trial only to hurl their abuse at her, blaming her alone for the fire because she’s some sort of monster? As if they hadn’t shattered her just as fully.
Until, of course, they decide to make things personal. Not that Hotaru didn’t expect it. She’d hoped, but they’d been feeble at best. Her jaw feathers beneath the creaking of her gritted teeth, trying to hold it together. “We left on good terms. Until I was told I was all but forgotten, that you were living up your lives euphorically without me in it, days after you tried to claim how important I was. How I wasn’t loved any less, that I wasn’t a fun side bit. Nothing but lies.” There is only the softest hiss to her words, teeth practically cracking as she fights for civility and composure. Until Nate. Her eyes are fire as they turn to him, the hands in her lap piercing into her palm, pinpricks staining her dress. “Funny how children seem to be byproducts of meeting Gods, huh? Only mine is a natural accident from the nature of my Attuning, and not from gambling other people’s lives.” It’s spat, her child a subject she cannot back down from. “If you think I would move on as easily as you two - and with a gay and married man no less - then you’re delusional. For all Remi’s excitement we’re certainly not in love.” Then she rips her gaze away and back to the wall, biting the edges of her tongue so the pain can bring some clarity. It stings to know Remi had told him, but it’s not like it makes much of a difference in how they’ll treat her.
The outburst of emotion slides past her like the muffled buzzing of bees. Deimos’ threats aren’t her own, and their attacks against him likely would only raise his brow. As much as she’d like to defend him instinctively, there’s no point in wasting her energy. This is purely political. Keep it that way. It’s the mantra that keeps her going. “You don’t think hearing about the Advocates would have pissed him off?” That he wouldn’t break his vow for that? Hotaru is surprised Deimos hasn’t burned the Kraai yet frankly. “Why should I have to be interrogated for motives of another person I tried to stop? Someone who has already given his admission to starting it to his own Warden no less?” And this is what baffles her. Are they simply too scared to confront Deimos himself? Or did they just bring her here under the guise of a trial only to hurl their abuse at her, blaming her alone for the fire because she’s some sort of monster? As if they hadn’t shattered her just as fully.
Until, of course, they decide to make things personal. Not that Hotaru didn’t expect it. She’d hoped, but they’d been feeble at best. Her jaw feathers beneath the creaking of her gritted teeth, trying to hold it together. “We left on good terms. Until I was told I was all but forgotten, that you were living up your lives euphorically without me in it, days after you tried to claim how important I was. How I wasn’t loved any less, that I wasn’t a fun side bit. Nothing but lies.” There is only the softest hiss to her words, teeth practically cracking as she fights for civility and composure. Until Nate. Her eyes are fire as they turn to him, the hands in her lap piercing into her palm, pinpricks staining her dress. “Funny how children seem to be byproducts of meeting Gods, huh? Only mine is a natural accident from the nature of my Attuning, and not from gambling other people’s lives.” It’s spat, her child a subject she cannot back down from. “If you think I would move on as easily as you two - and with a gay and married man no less - then you’re delusional. For all Remi’s excitement we’re certainly not in love.” Then she rips her gaze away and back to the wall, biting the edges of her tongue so the pain can bring some clarity. It stings to know Remi had told him, but it’s not like it makes much of a difference in how they’ll treat her.
and did letting go mean forever?
HOTARU
