when safe isn't

right now everything you want is wrong
& right now all your dreams are waking up

Remi breathes in the scent of his husband, the dreamworld allowing the alchemist’s mind to place each and every scent with pinpoint accuracy: stale beer from time spent in bars, the ocean—both this one, and one lost to another world—, the smell of sweat mixed with tree bark and blood. I love you; it’s all he wants to say, over and over and over again.

“Is he really so important?” Remi snaps into Ronin’s chest, though the flare of anger isn’t directed at Ronin, but at the world at large. “ Why can I not just hate him, apart from this war.” He knows why of course, but it feels good to be a bit petulant just the same.

“He was just...an asshole.” Not a reason for murder normally, but with Remi? Well... “He kept poking me.” Bristling in Ronin’s arms, the alchemist has to remind himself where he is, and not to let memories cause the world around them to grow any more hostile than it already was. “He would not stop. And then...I suppose he tried to call my bluff. Said that I would not kill him.” Stilling against the Star, Remi smiles a touch sadly.

The Lullaby