I swear I still believe but I don't know
"If I could lie well enough for long enough, no. I don't imagine it would be difficult." The floodgates are open - Ronin doesn't think he has ever spoken about the reality of his effect on others, or the things he could do if he put his mind to the machinations. And now that he's started, he doesn't think he's able to stop. "I doubt it would happen this side of LeafChange, though. I am not at my most charming at this time of year." A mirthless laugh chokes out of him, the Star keeping his eyes on the stitches of the blanket.
And as Safrin probes further he shrugs his shoulders, even though the answer dances on his tongue. His sight blurs, Ronin swiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. "I have always wanted a large family," he mutters. "Back when I was a soldier, I used to imagine this stupid house in the countryside, a bunch of kids, the whole crappy picket fence." He sniffs. "And when Remi said he didn't want any more children, I agreed. Because I didn't, not after everything. And now..."
Now one was on the way and he had absolutely no part to play in it.
"I know," he agrees softly. "There's a tie between them now that will never be broken." Taking a shuddering breath, he offers the lady of the stars a very guilty smile indeed. "I am so sorry," he says. "I believe I know something about what you feel, now. I do not like to share."
And as Safrin probes further he shrugs his shoulders, even though the answer dances on his tongue. His sight blurs, Ronin swiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. "I have always wanted a large family," he mutters. "Back when I was a soldier, I used to imagine this stupid house in the countryside, a bunch of kids, the whole crappy picket fence." He sniffs. "And when Remi said he didn't want any more children, I agreed. Because I didn't, not after everything. And now..."
Now one was on the way and he had absolutely no part to play in it.
"I know," he agrees softly. "There's a tie between them now that will never be broken." Taking a shuddering breath, he offers the lady of the stars a very guilty smile indeed. "I am so sorry," he says. "I believe I know something about what you feel, now. I do not like to share."
the dark star
