my held breath fills the room with blood
hurting in ways I can't describe
Just like with Deimos, Hotaru knows there is rarely any real anger between them when they disagree like this. So little time they’ve had together and she is still confident in that. When Seren softens, Hotaru follows her lead.
“I know you don’t understand. But that’s part of the divide - other races can’t empathize with the loneliness that Abandoned feel. They’re a very vulnerable group.” Admittedly she’s surprised The Voice hasn’t turned more of them. Perhaps their magic makes it difficult to do so, just like how she still has her magic despite Attuning? Seren working towards changing things or at least improving them on the human scale is a surprise, but a pleasant one, and Hotaru’s smile returns after having disappeared during the course of their conversation.
“I think that’s a fantastic idea. Hopefully the Fae would be receptive to such a thing.” Though she hasn’t spent much time in the Greatwood, it’s likely the only other place she could see herself living outside of Halo. It bolsters her to know Seren is at least attempting to understand, even if she never fully could by virtue of being favored above all others as Safrin’s true daughter.
“No, it doesn’t make me look good. But I also want you to think - will me saying that I will change convince you? What, in the end, are you wanting me to say? What are you hoping to achieve, when I cannot prove myself without a chance?” It’s spoken kindly, open-ended questions for Seren to consider on her own regardless of whether she answers verbally. “You trust Deimos, but he set the fire just as I did. Why is that?” Seren had said that if Deimos would not lead then perhaps Hotaru was not the best replacement, but that implied Deimos was the preference.
“I’ve told you of my past as a ruler. Deimos knows who I am as a person, as a Queen, and he trusts in me to hold that title. But I am also not someone who believes in ruling single-handedly. Checks and balances are necessary, protocols and cautions even against myself. That is the purpose of a council, which Deimos would be on.” And Noah, or so she hopes. Deimos had seemed confident in the man’s loyalty. “I don’t intend to remove Morgan by myself - or even to do it in a way that endangers my child, if that is proof enough that I do not intend to be a martyr. But I don’t intend to rule alone either.”
“I know you don’t understand. But that’s part of the divide - other races can’t empathize with the loneliness that Abandoned feel. They’re a very vulnerable group.” Admittedly she’s surprised The Voice hasn’t turned more of them. Perhaps their magic makes it difficult to do so, just like how she still has her magic despite Attuning? Seren working towards changing things or at least improving them on the human scale is a surprise, but a pleasant one, and Hotaru’s smile returns after having disappeared during the course of their conversation.
“I think that’s a fantastic idea. Hopefully the Fae would be receptive to such a thing.” Though she hasn’t spent much time in the Greatwood, it’s likely the only other place she could see herself living outside of Halo. It bolsters her to know Seren is at least attempting to understand, even if she never fully could by virtue of being favored above all others as Safrin’s true daughter.
“No, it doesn’t make me look good. But I also want you to think - will me saying that I will change convince you? What, in the end, are you wanting me to say? What are you hoping to achieve, when I cannot prove myself without a chance?” It’s spoken kindly, open-ended questions for Seren to consider on her own regardless of whether she answers verbally. “You trust Deimos, but he set the fire just as I did. Why is that?” Seren had said that if Deimos would not lead then perhaps Hotaru was not the best replacement, but that implied Deimos was the preference.
“I’ve told you of my past as a ruler. Deimos knows who I am as a person, as a Queen, and he trusts in me to hold that title. But I am also not someone who believes in ruling single-handedly. Checks and balances are necessary, protocols and cautions even against myself. That is the purpose of a council, which Deimos would be on.” And Noah, or so she hopes. Deimos had seemed confident in the man’s loyalty. “I don’t intend to remove Morgan by myself - or even to do it in a way that endangers my child, if that is proof enough that I do not intend to be a martyr. But I don’t intend to rule alone either.”
my heart bends and breaks
so many, many times
HOTARU
