I'll leave my love hidden in the sun
The questions did give the girl pause, and she considered them very carefully.
“I think,” she answered slowly, allowing Hotaru to follow her thoughts as they formed - they were too honest with each other at this point to try at pretense of having a fully committed answer when she did not - “that I am more inclined towards Deimos because he has Mother’s favor. This whole situation… it’s his way to make amends for what he did wrong, correct? You are helping, this is true, but I still feel as if you are somehow… riding along. Avoiding to take responsibility.
"I know it doesn’t make sense,” she apologized, with a rueful grimace. “I do wonder if it wouldn’t feel better to know that you were going to reach out to my mother. Properly. And try, from your side, to mend the rift between the two of you. Mother said she did not understand what you want - that she doesn’t know if even you understand it - and I keep wondering if talking will help. Or if this thing - this ruling Halo - might answer that question.”
Replacing her battered lip with a thumb-nail, Seren kept digging through her thoughts. It was uncomfortable to do it under scrutiny, because it revealed so much about herself. But Hotaru had already showed so much of the less pleasant parts of herself… Seren did not want to be any less trusting.
“I want you to have a chance, you know. To try, and prove me wrong - prove everyone wrong. Would… what would you think about putting in some kind of stop-gap? The council would be there, you say… I don’t know what it would look like, but some way to prevent the Warden from making decisions without everyone else at least knowing about them? That way, you can’t be reckless without at least having to listen to others first.”
This was where her lack of experience became a hobble, and the frustration at having so little constructive to offer reflected in a light shrug. Knowledge of ruling systems had not exactly been a point of interest when it came to her studies.
She looked at Hotaru, to see if these suggestions were even close to acceptable. If only she could make demands… but Seren did not feel confident enough in her own judgements yet to do that.
“I think,” she answered slowly, allowing Hotaru to follow her thoughts as they formed - they were too honest with each other at this point to try at pretense of having a fully committed answer when she did not - “that I am more inclined towards Deimos because he has Mother’s favor. This whole situation… it’s his way to make amends for what he did wrong, correct? You are helping, this is true, but I still feel as if you are somehow… riding along. Avoiding to take responsibility.
"I know it doesn’t make sense,” she apologized, with a rueful grimace. “I do wonder if it wouldn’t feel better to know that you were going to reach out to my mother. Properly. And try, from your side, to mend the rift between the two of you. Mother said she did not understand what you want - that she doesn’t know if even you understand it - and I keep wondering if talking will help. Or if this thing - this ruling Halo - might answer that question.”
Replacing her battered lip with a thumb-nail, Seren kept digging through her thoughts. It was uncomfortable to do it under scrutiny, because it revealed so much about herself. But Hotaru had already showed so much of the less pleasant parts of herself… Seren did not want to be any less trusting.
“I want you to have a chance, you know. To try, and prove me wrong - prove everyone wrong. Would… what would you think about putting in some kind of stop-gap? The council would be there, you say… I don’t know what it would look like, but some way to prevent the Warden from making decisions without everyone else at least knowing about them? That way, you can’t be reckless without at least having to listen to others first.”
This was where her lack of experience became a hobble, and the frustration at having so little constructive to offer reflected in a light shrug. Knowledge of ruling systems had not exactly been a point of interest when it came to her studies.
She looked at Hotaru, to see if these suggestions were even close to acceptable. If only she could make demands… but Seren did not feel confident enough in her own judgements yet to do that.
For when the darkness comes
SEREN
