Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
Noticing the restlessness, the working palm, Maea made no move to relieve Harper of his fidgeting. Even if she knew where it came from, she did not have it in herself to offer comfort. Not anymore.
"And if the mistake end up costing lives...? No, never mind." She shook her head and heaved a sigh, utterly unnecessary and with an air of frustration. The hollow mask was coming undone, as if thawing gradually under the warmth of this attention... A flower starved for light, turning desperately in the direction of anything that glittered. Pathetic.
"Well. I don't know about your loved ones. But it's nothing to be afraid of, at least. I drowned... supposedly an unpleasant way to go, but all I remember is a great peace coming over me. No pain, no regrets... well. I thought there wouldn't be. Delphia promised to deliver some words for me... but she never did. Not the ones that mattered." Tension entered her jaws, until forged muscles worked and shifted in the ghostly mimicry of another. That habit had never been hers, not truly. "For a time, all I knew was comfort. Like falling asleep, after a long day in the sun. I don't remember most of it, but I do remember that I could not quite let go. I had unfinished business here... so when a pathway was opened, I chose to walk down it."
The rain was picking up. Soft drizzle turned into fat droplets that tumbled through the sparse canopy. Messy white hair soon lay plastered against her skull, while dark clothes clung to Maea's diminutive form. Ragged, tattered. A poor imitation of rags once worn with pride.
"I knew what it meant. I knew what I would become, Harper. I knew what I left behind, and that there was no going back. It seemed... like such an easy choice. Was an easy choice. I could go back, see him again. Everything would work out, somehow, I was so sure of it."
But no, she had been wrong. Time waited for no one.
"It was a very foolish choice. I tried to pin my existence and happiness on the acceptance and love of one person. That is a very fragile foundation... when it disappears, there is nothing left."
"And if the mistake end up costing lives...? No, never mind." She shook her head and heaved a sigh, utterly unnecessary and with an air of frustration. The hollow mask was coming undone, as if thawing gradually under the warmth of this attention... A flower starved for light, turning desperately in the direction of anything that glittered. Pathetic.
"Well. I don't know about your loved ones. But it's nothing to be afraid of, at least. I drowned... supposedly an unpleasant way to go, but all I remember is a great peace coming over me. No pain, no regrets... well. I thought there wouldn't be. Delphia promised to deliver some words for me... but she never did. Not the ones that mattered." Tension entered her jaws, until forged muscles worked and shifted in the ghostly mimicry of another. That habit had never been hers, not truly. "For a time, all I knew was comfort. Like falling asleep, after a long day in the sun. I don't remember most of it, but I do remember that I could not quite let go. I had unfinished business here... so when a pathway was opened, I chose to walk down it."
The rain was picking up. Soft drizzle turned into fat droplets that tumbled through the sparse canopy. Messy white hair soon lay plastered against her skull, while dark clothes clung to Maea's diminutive form. Ragged, tattered. A poor imitation of rags once worn with pride.
"I knew what it meant. I knew what I would become, Harper. I knew what I left behind, and that there was no going back. It seemed... like such an easy choice. Was an easy choice. I could go back, see him again. Everything would work out, somehow, I was so sure of it."
But no, she had been wrong. Time waited for no one.
"It was a very foolish choice. I tried to pin my existence and happiness on the acceptance and love of one person. That is a very fragile foundation... when it disappears, there is nothing left."
