Aurelia
don't worry about the
darkness in my soul
darkness in my soul
He's still here, he says, and it feels like deadweight. The words hold such little meaning in this moment, and yet she knows that in reality they mean the world. "It's not the same," she chokes out, a half-whisper, a half-cry, another echo of the same sentiment she'd revealed earlier. Nothing is the same anymore.
The words he tells her next, she knows should be of comfort. She knows he means them well, she knows that he doesn't intend to hurt her, that he never did intend for that to begin with. So why does it still tear her apart at the seams?
Tears spring at the corners of her eyes and she squeezes them shut. Her arms lift to shove him away, even if her strength is no match for his pOwEr. "No!" She snaps out, the word grating against her tongue and her teeth as it flies past her lips.
"It's not because of any of that! It's not about what I can get from you- you idiot," the words hurt to say, perhaps because it hurts to realize that that's what he thinks she wants. To take. If only she could fucking say what it is about. But finding the words is so difficult with her mind frayed that, for all she tries to muster them, the only thing that comes out is her own damn tears. It makes her pull away, even if she's already tried to push him away. "I'm not here because I think you need me, or because I think I can-" her words are cut off by a sob that fractures them, "can get something from you. If you really think that's what I want, is to take things from you-" and she lunges forward again, "then go! Just go!"
The words he tells her next, she knows should be of comfort. She knows he means them well, she knows that he doesn't intend to hurt her, that he never did intend for that to begin with. So why does it still tear her apart at the seams?
Tears spring at the corners of her eyes and she squeezes them shut. Her arms lift to shove him away, even if her strength is no match for his pOwEr. "No!" She snaps out, the word grating against her tongue and her teeth as it flies past her lips.
"It's not because of any of that! It's not about what I can get from you- you idiot," the words hurt to say, perhaps because it hurts to realize that that's what he thinks she wants. To take. If only she could fucking say what it is about. But finding the words is so difficult with her mind frayed that, for all she tries to muster them, the only thing that comes out is her own damn tears. It makes her pull away, even if she's already tried to push him away. "I'm not here because I think you need me, or because I think I can-" her words are cut off by a sob that fractures them, "can get something from you. If you really think that's what I want, is to take things from you-" and she lunges forward again, "then go! Just go!"
it ignites me
like an embered coal
like an embered coal
