With all these eyes upon us

You have so much of everything but still you wanted more

Well now, that prank doubled back on her faster than she'd expected. Seren did an admirable job at keeping her face straight, but the bluntness of her father's questions brought on a return of her blush in a slow, unavoidable creep. For a moment she considered just dropping the con... but then she decided against it. At least, halfway.

"Well... the mechanics of it, sure," she mumbled awkwardly, which wasn't a lie. Male parts and female parts and what went where - that sort of stuff she did know of. "To avoid... just... don't do it at all?" It really felt like the best answer to the whole issue. "Maeve and Hotaru... I talked to both of them. They kept saying it was just a bit of fun... but now they're both pregnant and heartbroken. That doesn't seem very amusing at all to me."

It was a good thing she was already done with her meal, because there was no way she would have any appetite left after this. The unease she felt at the topic was her own damned fault, but now that it was brought up, they might as well get through it. One of those obligatory family things...

Seren

and on to the glory at my right hand

Ronin might have chuckled to see his daughter go from confident to somehow flushed and flustered, but they're both in the same boat now, and the only way to shore is to row through the awkwardness. At least Seren picks up where he lets off, Ronin setting down his mug (almost entirely empty, at least) and managing a wry smile to her. "I mean, avoiding it is certainly one way to go about it." And in the middle of Leafchange with both a dragon and a luxere stag warring for his attention, Ronin might be inclined to encourage Seren down that route.

But it would be neither fair nor practical to expect that, and so he takes a breath and continues. "There are ways to prevent a pregnancy, Seren. On both sides - in fact, Maeve probably knows them all better than most in her line of work. I'm not sure why she didn't choose to use protection, if her pregnancy is making her unhappy. But there are herbs, teas, and other..." He gestures at the air helplessly. "Other things you can use. It doesn't have to be anything but fun, as long as you're responsible."

ronin

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

You have so much of everything but still you wanted more

Twisting a napkin between her fingers until it began to fray, Seren stared down into the table. Again, there was that turn of phrase. One she had offered up, true, but her dad agreed with the sentiment too? Fun. Like a game. Something pulled out to pass the time, so flippant and casual. Then why did the subject only make her feel uneasy?

"I... really don't understand that, after all," she said quietly. "My body doing things all on it's own, my head becoming a mess... am I the only one who find that frightening?" Her jaw shifted, aching with the intensity of pent up emotions.

Maybe this wasn't something he wanted to talk about, or know about. But of all the people she had met that tried to help and sooth and explain, only to her father could Seren admit that she was afraid. Terrified, of this so called fun pastime that could be so wonderful and have such terrible consequences.

Seren

and on to the glory at my right hand

It might be awkward, but Ronin also feels a flush of warmth that his daughter is able to be so candid with him, and he reaches across the table to clasp her hands and try to prevent their worrying at the napkin. "No," he says softly. "No, I think you're far from the only person who finds it frightening. You don't have to do any of that stuff though, Seren. You know that, right?" He smiles softly.

"And you can always change your mind. If you aren't ready - or if you're never ready - to do that sort of thing with anyone, that's okay as well. But I do think Hotaru and Maeve are only two people out of a lot of the world - some people actually try to have babies, you know." He winks, though for all of his lightheartedness, Ronin does understand the serious nature of the conversation.

ronin

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

You have so much of everything but still you wanted more

Her fingers were cold as they forsook the napkin in favor of her father's hands, and the tension in her grasp was enough to set them trembling faintly. She couldn't quite manage to meet his gaze, but was soothed by his tone. By the reassurance. Even though it wasn't quite enough.

"I know. But those... feelings.. They creep up on me anyway. Even though I don't want them to. It's annoying, I dont want to become a beetroot and twist into a knot just because someone happen to look at me."

Suddenly more angry than embarrassed, Seren huffed with indignation. Childishly petulant that she couldn't control herself. Damned traitorous body. And damned be the time she had lost where most people figured all of these things out. There had been very little time or need to consider boys or pleasure while wandering the starry realms.

Seren

and on to the glory at my right hand

Ronin's hands are warm where Seren's are cold, and he lets his thumb brush across the back of her palm as if to offer some wordless reassurance, however effective (or not) it might be. He does tilt his head at her remarks, though, the Huntsman smiling despite himself, and he gives her hands a squeeze. "Wouldn't we all?" he ventures. "Seren, I promise you that everyone gets tied up in knots around people they like. And they hate it too, but sometimes our bodies just... act that way. We blush, we get tongue tied..."

He shrugs his shoulders, seeming strangely at ease with the awkwardness of it all. (Then again Ronin has charisma aplenty, and he'd never really been one to embarrass easy). "What would you like to happen, though? Maybe there are some things we can do to stop it getting to you so much."

ronin

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

You have so much of everything but still you wanted more

The touch was soothing, and grounded her enough that even though the subject was difficult, Seren still managed to speak.
"I would prefer if I could just stay the way I normally am," she replied, quiet and a little surly. "Around everyone. Family and friends... that's all I want. All I need. Liking and love and crushes and all that, it just make it complicated. I don't want any of it."

With her hands occupied, a knee began to bounce under the table, offering an outlet for the tension within.
"I guess... there's no way to just... shut it off?" Life would be so much easier if the whole mechanism that circulated around reproduction just wasn't there. Because that's all it was, right? Mating calls that had no place in her life and served no purpose.

Seren

and on to the glory at my right hand

Hearing her out, Ronin nibbles at the inside of her cheek, considering her words and the reasoning that might lurk behind them. "Do you think there's a reason why you feel like that?" he asks softly. "Don't get me wrong - relationships aren't always easy, and they take a lot of work to keep everyone involved happy. But they're also one of the most amazing things you can have."

He can think of a hundred reasons why that might not seem that way to Seren, though, given everything she's got as an example. "As for shutting it off," he continues, "I have no doubt that someone like Frey would be able to do such a thing. But it might be better to speak to your mother about it first. Whether or not you decide to do it, I think she'd probably like to know what you're going through."

ronin

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

You have so much of everything but still you wanted more

A slow uncertain rise of a shoulder into a shrug made it clear that her thoughts had not come that far in self awareness yet.
"I don't really know," she admitted. "Just..  I try to think of myself with another person always around, who's suddenly supposed to know where I am and what I do and who might get hurt if I don't do things right, and... it's a little suffocating. I barely manage to keep up with you, and that's without the complicated stuff."

Turning her hands within her father's grasp, she studied his fingers like she'd never truly seen them before. Callouses and scars and the shape of his nails - things so well known that they somehow had been overlooked.

"I think... I'm probably afraid of being swept away, too," Seren added, growing quiet again. "I barely understand who I am, myself... All I know is mostly theory. Information, twenty or so years worth of it crammed into my head with this body to match. But it's different to actually live, you know? There are so many people, and they all think differently and want different things. Three persons can tell the same story but it will never sound the same. How do I know who to listen to? Who do I trust? What can I do, what should I do and when...?" She sucked in a breath and let out a shaky sigh, struggling to stay on top of the sense of being flooded. "That's already difficult. And when my body acts up, and I suddenly can't trust my own thoughts anymore... I am afraid of people getting hurt because a mistake I made. One that could have been avoided if I was thinking clearly." She was capable of doing great damage, too. Not only through her powers, but by carrying her name, and her parents legacy.

"I really don't want to hurt anyone..." And somehow, love and attractions surely would leave to that. Seren couldn't say how, but she was sure of it.

Seren

and on to the glory at my right hand

Ronin manages a gasp that just hints at being mischievous, the Huntsman tilting his head at his daughter and smirking. "Are you saying I can be suffocating?" he says, knowing full well that he absolutely can be at times. He lets her turn his hands, mapping the pathway of the years, the weapons he's wielded, the tools he's used, the people he's held. And he keeps his eyes on their palms as she speaks, his brow furrowing, a sense of sadness drawing the amusement from his expression.

Scooting around to sit beside her, Ronin reaches out to wrap an arm around his daughter, drawing her close against his side. "I can't even imagine," he says softly. "There's not really a rulebook for this sort of thing, is there? Or a guide to take you through it all." He nudges her gently. "The person you end up trusting the most should be yourself, though. I know that much. But that does mean failing, and trying, and sometimes it might even mean hurting people. The experiences are what will make you wise, Seren. So just keep being yourself, complicated and messy and all the rest of it. Trust me when I say you'll be alright."

ronin

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

You have so much of everything but still you wanted more

Her eyes shot up, a protest on her lips despite the amusement in his tone. "No, you aren't," she assured. "You don't demand anything of me. It's almost the other way... sometimes I wonder if you have any expectations at all..." Which was a double edged blade, both blessing and curse. She was not tied down by rules... but also didn't have anything to rebell against. All their complications lay in communication, still and perhaps always. Mostly on her part, for not keeping in touch.

When Ronin scooted over and pulled her in, Seren leaned into the embrace with a soft sigh. As always, he was warm. Steady and supportive, even though there was nothing he could really do here. Listening... How curious, that so little could help so much.
"Maybe this is my dragon," she murmured, thinking of his shift. They were different things altogether... But at least Seren thought she could understand some of his reluctance to face it. "Running away and wishing it will go away really does seem a lot easier."

Seren

and on to the glory at my right hand

He raises his eyebrows at that, surprised to hear it phrased so, Ronin tightening his grip around her and letting out a soft sigh. "I had a lot of expectations placed on me by my parents," he admits. "They were what I suppose you would call nobles. They had my whole life mapped out - where I'd go to study, when I would join the army, where I would fight and the medals I ought to win." His gaze darkens a little. "I never want that for any of my children. My only expectations, I suppose, are that you'll do all you can to be happy in your life. And that if you have any problems, you know that you can come to me."

Smiling, he gives Seren a gentle nudge. "Sorry if that's not quite the pep talk you were expecting," he says. Ronin has fought hard to step out from under a baron's shadow, and he doesn't want Seren to think she's been brought up in a box. "Maybe it is." He chuckles at her dragon comparison. "And it does, right? Maybe I'll shift into a dragon and we can just ride away into the sunset and never come back."

ronin

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

You have so much of everything but still you wanted more

Hearing all that made it easier to understand why he was so generous with her. Seren squeezed her father back, and leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment. "I'm grateful, you know. That you're my dad, and such a nice one too. I don't really have anything to complain about." Most of the ones she had stemmed from her own insecurities anyway. Hardly Ronin's fault. "I'll work on the happiness thing. My problems you already know about now," she said playfully, wriggling a finger as if meaning to tickle him.

The image of them flying off into the sunset was a little too tempting. Seren sighed wistfully and straightened up, pushing the mass of dark curls from her face. "It sounds nice. But we're not really going to, are we." At least she was not one to run from a problem. To a fault stubborn and relentless.

Seren

and on to the glory at my right hand

"Never be afraid to complain, though. Just because a sprained ankle isn't as bad as a broken leg, doesn't mean you should walk on either one," Ronin points out, tilting his head against Seren's and closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the impromptu embrace. He blinks back to attention just in time for her to waggle her finger at him, Ronin chuckling and scooting away, knowing better than to let himself get tickled.

"Well, maybe one day I'll shift and we'll ride away into the sunset," he says with a wink. "But we will always come back, I'm afraid. There are too many people who love us and would miss us if we went. For now, though, how about a walk in the snow? The sun is up a bit higher now, it shouldn't be so cold." So saying, Ronin rises to his feet and offers a hand out to help Seren up too.

ronin

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)