Hotaru
Hotaru manages a weak smile. “Yes. The twins were actually conceived at their shrine, in their presence.” There’s a wry humor to the words, one she hopes Phoebe will understand and enjoy.
The idea is farfetched, admittedly, but Hotaru has come this far. Even the slimmest chance is one she refuses not to reach for. So instead she shuffled around to sit facing Phoebe instead of side by side. “Okay. At least we can try and fail if nothing else.” Taking a deep steadying breath Hotaru tries to focus. To find that inner maternal teacher. “You want to sit relaxed and still, and try to lose all touch with your outside body. Close your eyes. Imagine you are floating in a pool that’s the exact same warmth as your own body. Focus entirely inward. Forget that you have any boundaries to your skin. That it takes any shape at all. There is only you.” Her voice turns melodic, soothing, encouraging Phoebe to follow along and slow her breathing to the rhythm of her voice.
It’s almost disorienting how different she sounds, how quickly she is able to slip into this role. An impeccable actress, almost to the point of concern.
“Don’t envision what you imagine you might be. Find the thread inside you that feels other. Every form feels different. It might be subtle, but it’s distinctly inhuman. Then I want you to pull on it, and imagine it wrapping around you.” And hopefully the natural desire to shift would come over her, and the rest would follow along.
The idea is farfetched, admittedly, but Hotaru has come this far. Even the slimmest chance is one she refuses not to reach for. So instead she shuffled around to sit facing Phoebe instead of side by side. “Okay. At least we can try and fail if nothing else.” Taking a deep steadying breath Hotaru tries to focus. To find that inner maternal teacher. “You want to sit relaxed and still, and try to lose all touch with your outside body. Close your eyes. Imagine you are floating in a pool that’s the exact same warmth as your own body. Focus entirely inward. Forget that you have any boundaries to your skin. That it takes any shape at all. There is only you.” Her voice turns melodic, soothing, encouraging Phoebe to follow along and slow her breathing to the rhythm of her voice.
It’s almost disorienting how different she sounds, how quickly she is able to slip into this role. An impeccable actress, almost to the point of concern.
“Don’t envision what you imagine you might be. Find the thread inside you that feels other. Every form feels different. It might be subtle, but it’s distinctly inhuman. Then I want you to pull on it, and imagine it wrapping around you.” And hopefully the natural desire to shift would come over her, and the rest would follow along.
I'm ready to hope, swing me out of the low
Wide awake in the glow, I can't do it alone
Wide awake in the glow, I can't do it alone
