LOCKE
None of this is right or going the way he wants. And he can't decide how to fix it. Or why he needs to fix it. Except deep down, he cares about her. Always has, likely always will. So with booze warming his belly and insanity in his brain, Locke twists, rolling onto his knees in front of her. Finally look at her face to face. He scoots forward, tilting her chin up so she has to look at him. Or he hopes she does.
"Let me be honest with you, Mae. I know this is gonna sound fucked up but I do want you. Badly. I want a family with you. Have since at least Flowerbirth. But I gotta be honest with you. I felt like I wanted too much, that I was gonna scare you away. So instead of letting you leave me, I made you. In a fucked up way, I was so scared of losing you that I chased you off. 'Cause Maeve, people like me are destined to die in gutters with a knife to our throats. But people like you? Greatness. I mean look at all Safrin has done for you in just a few seasons. You've made a name for yourself from nothing. Maybe I was a little scared of being in your shadow too." He takes a breath, shaking his head as he looks away, breaking whatever eye contact they may have.
"That said. I don't think I can trust myself right now. I don't think you trust me either. And I don't want that for either of us. So I'm going to get my shit together, work on myself, be there for our kid because I know I can do that right now. And who knows, maybe one day, we can trust me.. But I don't want you to wait. If you find someone else.. Okay? Promise me. Promise me you won't wait."
"Let me be honest with you, Mae. I know this is gonna sound fucked up but I do want you. Badly. I want a family with you. Have since at least Flowerbirth. But I gotta be honest with you. I felt like I wanted too much, that I was gonna scare you away. So instead of letting you leave me, I made you. In a fucked up way, I was so scared of losing you that I chased you off. 'Cause Maeve, people like me are destined to die in gutters with a knife to our throats. But people like you? Greatness. I mean look at all Safrin has done for you in just a few seasons. You've made a name for yourself from nothing. Maybe I was a little scared of being in your shadow too." He takes a breath, shaking his head as he looks away, breaking whatever eye contact they may have.
"That said. I don't think I can trust myself right now. I don't think you trust me either. And I don't want that for either of us. So I'm going to get my shit together, work on myself, be there for our kid because I know I can do that right now. And who knows, maybe one day, we can trust me.. But I don't want you to wait. If you find someone else.. Okay? Promise me. Promise me you won't wait."
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
