i sank into the sea, wrapped in piano strings

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

Nikolai can't stop himself from snarling, for baring his fangs. "What?" There was so much wrong with what Sunjata had just told him. The Ascended knew that the destruction of the Voice and thus the Ascended was a goal of the Old Gods. Hearing it put so plainly however has something dark, burning and clawing in his chest. Something vengeful.

But for a child's life to be the cost for an exception? Had Sunjata even wanted to have a kid? Nikolai snarls, "Let me get this straight. In order for you to save your husband's life should you win the war, you were forced to father a Demi-god. Am I interpreting that correctly?"

This, this was why. Why Nikolai loathed the Old Gods. Playing with people's lives while trying to keep an illusion of mercy. For pretending to care when they did all that they could to reach their own ambitions.

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle