But my words, like silent raindrops fell

Remi There’s only two mistakes that I have made: Running from the people who could love me best, & trying to fix a world that I can’t change Remi hummed a dark note of acknowledgement. He clearly heard the lack of honesty in the guild master's apology, but he didn't mind it. The pair of them had made it in, that was all that had mattered. With a load woosh of air, Remi shrugged against his friend. "We are going to figure it out." Glancing towards Ronin, Remi nudged his shoulder with his own. "Hey don't say that." The alchemist whispered consolingly, before his lips twitched into the smallest of smiles. "You are the very best at being stabbed, beaten up in alleyways, and.. " Remi's lips quirked slightly again. "...you're probably the best friend I have here."

A sad smile flickered across Ronin's face as his shoulder was nudged against Remi's, the guildmaster sniffing softly and dabbing at his eyes before glancing across to the alchemist. We? That brought something warm blooming in Ronin's chest that almost hurt, and Ronin felt his throat growing tight around the thanks he wanted to express. It didn't matter how much use he and Remi would be to the tiny baby downstairs, or what they could do for her... that Ronin wasn't really alone, when he felt it so desperately, was infinitely relieving. "Oh...?" He nudged Remi back. "I'm... I don't feel I have been a very good friend to you. I haven't even asked how you are, or how things have been here." He could almost feel himself trying to find a distraction, because any moment of silence gave the chance that he might think of Vanya again, of the room where she'd died, of the smell of her hair and the softness of her lips. ronin the long and lonesome road

Remi There’s only two mistakes that I have made: Running from the people who could love me best, & trying to fix a world that I can’t change The alchemist rolled his eyes with a light chuckle. "I said you were the best friend I have here, but that is only because I have so few." The alchemist quipped back with a small smile. "So the bar is quite low, don't worry about it." How was he though? That was hard to answer. Responding to what was going on seemed far simpler. "Duchess Aylet—Celosia—was taken. She opened the door downstairs and..." Remi grit his teeth and looked down. "It was why it took us so long to answer for you. We thought it was another trick." Running a hand through his curls, he shrugged miserably. "And when I was upstairs with Isla, there was the strangest sound on the windows...like a tree branch, only there are no trees there."

"Hush now, none of that. You've got plenty of friends. I am the best one, though," Ronin managed with just a hint of amusement, but it was little more than a very well constructed facade. Still, as Remi continued regarding what was going on in the Rathskeller (rather than, you know, answering the other question Ronin had asked), the ex-captain frowned, shaking his head sadly. "People are dying even when they are meant to be in safe places," he all but whispered, running his fingers through his unkempt hair. Still, for the first time in his life, he felt absolutely zero impulse to go out of his way and try to fix things. It wouldn't bring Vanya back, and Remi had made it clear that it wouldn't stop people from making bad decisions. Even if one of those bad decisions had likely saved his daughter's life. "We just need to hang on, until the sun comes back..." ronin the long and lonesome road

Remi There’s only two mistakes that I have made: Running from the people who could love me best, & trying to fix a world that I can’t change Remi snorted tonelessly and shrugged, whatever flicker of a smile on his face immediately dissolving. "I knew it was meant to be dangerous..but this.." Stupidly, belatedly, Remi realized Ronin likely meant Vanya dying. Remi had immediately thought of Cel, who had been safe inside with them. But Vanya had been safe inside as well. "I do not know if I can last that long." Remi said with a dry chuckle that sounded hollow and hurt. "I know, I know it is not the same as Vanya at all...but..." Shifting so he could look at Ronin, Remi rested the side of his head against the alcove wall, bit the inside of his cheek and looked up. "The man I went on a date with ... he said he loved me." Remi wanted to smile at the words, but instead all he felt was empty. The space he'd made for Sam, the drawer in his heart he was about to invite the ascended to fill with his things, had been unceremoniously torn out and splintered in a thousand irreparable ways. "And not that I was ever quite clear on whether we were together ... but if we were, we are not now. He slapped me and ended things. Or...at least made it clear that whatever it was, it was not anymore." Looking at Ronin, pale eyes into dark blue, though the bags of weariness they both sported matched if nothing else did, Remi ran a hand over his heart as if physically wounded somehow. "And everything that Frey took from me ... those feelings... it is all back Ronin. And by all the gods here I feel ready to break, and we are only a few days in to this madness."

"Yeah..." Ronin frowned sadly into the darkened Temple, fiddling with a loose thread on the edge of the blanket his friend had conjured up for him. Only when Remi said he might not be able to last all of LongNight did the ex-captain glance up, something close to fear shooting through his eyes; was something wrong with Remi, too? Or was he not planning to stay indoors? Ronin had to force his breathing to even out as he shifted to face the other man, a soft frown on his face. He shook his head, as if to say that he wasn't thinking of comparing their situations - hurt was hurt, and Ronin was very well acquainted with it. And besides, he knew the alchemist well enough to know exactly the turmoil he'd been caught in since well before Deepfrost had begun. As his pulse began to slow, his gaze softened. "Well, fuck," he almost whispered, shifting closer to lift one arm, blanket and all, and wrap it around Remi's shoulders. "That... yeah. I'm sorry," he mumbled, giving him a gentle squeeze. ronin the long and lonesome road

Remi There’s only two mistakes that I have made: Running from the people who could love me best, & trying to fix a world that I can’t change Easily Remi slid into the space opened up by Ronin thinking nothing of it, save for that it was warm, and simple and familiar. "Let it never be said that Captain Ronin does not have a way with words." Remi said with a low snort, reaching around to pull the blanket around his shoulder more fully. Suddenly another blanket appeared in his hands, which he sprawled over their laps. No reason why sulking alone in the temple had to be a chilly affair. "I made these for Isla—" Remi said, pulling out the black stone glowing a soft green. "I say these but she has the other one. If she, or I, press the button in the centre, the other will glow red." A simple enough design that could be upgraded easily. Could it include voice? Images? Perhaps Remi had been hasty in the construction of these early devices, but at least it meant he'd know if Isla needed him.

"You'll forgive me for my current lack of eloquence, I hope," Ronin murmured with a half-hearted smile, helping to tug the new blanket over their laps and gently resting his head against Remi's. He raised an eyebrow at the production of the glowing stones, Ronin's brow furrowing for a moment. "That's... wow, Remi," he murmured, not quite managing to hide the tremor in his voice. "I almost wish you'd managed to make them a little ways before LongNight." Maybe Ronin could have called for help, then. But the what-ifs were driving him mad already, and he could do little more than try and let it go. "At least it looks as though she is safe for now, right?" ronin the long and lonesome road

Remi There’s only two mistakes that I have made: Running from the people who could love me best, & trying to fix a world that I can’t change Glancing to the side to read Ronin's expression with a curious stare, wanting to make sure he hadn't pressed their camaraderie too far given all that had happened, he allowed himself a small grin and settled against his friend. Ronin's words were like icewater in Remi's veins. Though he doubted his friend had said them with the intention to wound, inwardly the alchemist reeled. His breath hitched, lips falling open. "Ronin I didn't think—" The fucking phrase again. "I thought we would all be fine .. we did the things we were told.." He was rambling now, his words like bandaids on wet skin. Sliding an arm in and around Ronin, Remi shook his head gently against the guild masters, staring up into the raftered ceiling. "I think I hate this place." He concluded.

Ronin could only shrug and huddle closer to Remi, as though the company was one of the only things keeping him tethered to sanity right now. "It just... happened," he mumbled, shaking his head and hoping he hadn't made the alchemist blame himself. "We all did everything, but... it wasn't LongNight that killed Vanya. Not directly anyway." Drawing a shuddering breath, he slumped back into the alcove with the other man. "Me too," he muttered; hate was a strong word, but it was exactly how he felt in this moment. "But we'll hate it together, yeah? I don't... I can't take away what happened, with Loren or... or anything else. But I'm here, okay? As much as I can be." ronin the long and lonesome road

Remi There’s only two mistakes that I have made: Running from the people who could love me best, & trying to fix a world that I can’t change It just happened. The phrase of the guilty and the hopeless. It described everything perfectly, and meant nothing. It just happened. Ronin against him was like the first real contact he felt like he'd had in years. It was without expectation, without any sort of standard, or need to worry over his every movement, or meaning. Remi would never hold anything that Sam had needed or wanted against him ... but it was exhausting always being the one who had to be more. The one to comfort, the one to see the bigger picture. The one to stand and try after being slapped and screamed at. At least with Ronin, they were equals in some hard to specify way. "Loren." Remi barked with a bitter laugh. "Same goes for me. Nipple-maker or blanket creator, or whatever else these hands can do that I have not thought of yet." Oh, like make a stone that might have saved Vanya? Something dark in him sneered.

"Yeah, Loren," Ronin muttered. He and the librarian had been very, very close, once upon a time, but not even he had seen Loren in so long it hurt him as well. Especially because the Launceleyn had recently discovered healing magic, too, and... fuck, the things he could have done just kept stacking and stacking up, Ronin blinking quickly and clearing his throat past the sob that wanted to come out. "Best nipple-maker I ever met," he managed roughly, baring his teeth in a grin and seeming to sag against Remi, the guildmaster utterly exhausted. "Do we have to go back downstairs yet?" he asked. "I just want... just a few minutes more." And if he fell asleep in those few minutes, would that be such a bad thing? ronin the long and lonesome road

Remi There’s only two mistakes that I have made: Running from the people who could love me best, & trying to fix a world that I can’t change One day perhaps Remi's love with turn to hate and the desire to see the Launceleyn around every bend would dissipate. For now though it was simply a reminder of what love could really do. And more importantly, what it couldn't. "Hah." Remi laughed. "Well it has been a while since I've properly studied the female form. Then again, perhaps I will just have to use you as a model from now on." The alchemist hummed a sigh into his friend, contentedly tightening his grip and leaning into Ronin's sag. Remi's eyes fluttered shut for just a moment, listening to the sound of their combined breaths in the silence of the temple. "No we have more time." He murmured. "Vai's maternal instincts are likely over the moon as it is." With a sigh, Remi wished he'd brought some alcohol up with him, to numb the cold places in himself that the blanket couldn't warm.

"What the heck would you want to study my nipples for?" Ronin couldn't help it - the absurdity of where his mind had taken Remi's comment brought a laugh bubbling up in his throat that was nearly hysterical, but it was something, at least. He wiped at his eyes as he finally calmed, though it was unclear as to whether or not he'd been crying from happiness or sadness. As Remi confirmed that they would be alright for a little while longer, Ronin shifted to lean into the curve of the alcove, tugging his friend with him to get more comfortable. Tilting his head back against the stone, he let his eyes flutter shut as well. "At least Aoife is safe," he mumbled, with the sort of resignation that suggested that he didn't really mind what happened to him from here. He'd done his part - his daughter was in good hands. ronin the long and lonesome road