Some people crash two or three times and then learn from their mistakes
We are the ones who don't slow down at all
We are the ones who don't slow down at all
She nods mutely, letting his words sink in, trying to grapple with how they make her feel and coming up empty handed. "I'm glad," Hotaru settles on, because that at least is a truth she can abide. He can keep as strong a hold on his side of the bond as he'd like - she has no way of sensing it, so young to her own Attunement as she is. Even so, they both seem to pick their words with care, and it's disheartening. Still, she doesn't know what it was she expected.
Even when they fumble, her hackles smooth back down the moment he apologizes. They always would. Hotaru turns partially away, arms coming up to hug her elbows for lack of anything better to do with her hands. "Sorry. I...there was something wrong with me. Something that happens to women after they give birth sometimes. I was a danger to them, and Remi took them to keep them safe - I haven't even seen them yet." It's terrifying to even mention, but Hotaru is so very tired of lying to him. Had never wanted to in the first place. Though it may color how he sees her, she won't do it again. "And I don't want to be congratulated on a mistake, at that. Something that has caused so much pain." To her, to him and Nate, to Remi and Ronin. It would never impact her love for Flora and Enzo, but it was similarly something she never wanted to hear him congratulate her on.
She had expected it to be a gift for Nate, but she couldn't have hoped to anticipate the rest, and she stumbles forward a few steps instinctively - wanting to hold, to console - before her mind catches up and stops her, dropping a half-risen hand back to her elbow. "I'm so sorry," she croaks, and is not at all surprised to find her eyes hot and throat thick, all his joking meaningless in the face of her sympathetic grief. "I wish...I wish you never knew, how it felt. I'm so sorry." Because what else is there to say? She won't ask how it happened. Couldn't tell the tale of Atlas' demise again if she tried, especially after how many times they'd asked it of her. She won't make Sunjata go through that same experience, never even contemplates revenge for it.
Even when they fumble, her hackles smooth back down the moment he apologizes. They always would. Hotaru turns partially away, arms coming up to hug her elbows for lack of anything better to do with her hands. "Sorry. I...there was something wrong with me. Something that happens to women after they give birth sometimes. I was a danger to them, and Remi took them to keep them safe - I haven't even seen them yet." It's terrifying to even mention, but Hotaru is so very tired of lying to him. Had never wanted to in the first place. Though it may color how he sees her, she won't do it again. "And I don't want to be congratulated on a mistake, at that. Something that has caused so much pain." To her, to him and Nate, to Remi and Ronin. It would never impact her love for Flora and Enzo, but it was similarly something she never wanted to hear him congratulate her on.
She had expected it to be a gift for Nate, but she couldn't have hoped to anticipate the rest, and she stumbles forward a few steps instinctively - wanting to hold, to console - before her mind catches up and stops her, dropping a half-risen hand back to her elbow. "I'm so sorry," she croaks, and is not at all surprised to find her eyes hot and throat thick, all his joking meaningless in the face of her sympathetic grief. "I wish...I wish you never knew, how it felt. I'm so sorry." Because what else is there to say? She won't ask how it happened. Couldn't tell the tale of Atlas' demise again if she tried, especially after how many times they'd asked it of her. She won't make Sunjata go through that same experience, never even contemplates revenge for it.
And there's nobody there to catch us when we fall
HOTARU
