Hotaru
There is energy in motion in everything Wessex does, and the heartbeats between reactions feel like hours for Hotaru to linger inside, observing and committing to memory the brief unguarded moment of mirth before it is locked down and away. Potentially forever. She holds it close all the same, cold biting at her eyes as she refuses to blink lest she miss anything else. Maybe that’s why they sting and water. Yes, it must be the cold.
Hotaru had told herself she wouldn’t, but the silent stare invokes a reaction in her she can’t deny, and her arms reach to cradle around herself, a protective embrace to at dampens the flinch at Wessex’s strained, singular word.
“I had to,” she admits quietly, certain the Wraith will hear her even subdued as her voice is. Nails press into golden skin, leaving whitened crescents beneath the pressure that will flush pink when she remembers to let go. The pain is mild at best, but grounding. “I did something terrible. Something that put a friend in a bad position - one I had to rectify, because it was my fault. So I had my orders.” Some twisted mix of a scoff and a laugh escapes her, jaded and rough. “It worked - but you already know the cost.” Deimos was back in Safrin’s graces, but they were both exiled now. At least he had more than she did. Hotaru is glad for that. Fiercely and sincerely. At least it had not all been for naught.
It won’t be the last time they're told to work against each other. Hotaru is all too aware of that. Frey might be the lesser evil of the Old Gods if you hated them, and Hotaru certainly wasn’t a pawn worthy of commanding, but all the same she wasn’t on the same side as Wessex. Even doing nothing at all would still put her in the camp of complacency.
Hotaru had told herself she wouldn’t, but the silent stare invokes a reaction in her she can’t deny, and her arms reach to cradle around herself, a protective embrace to at dampens the flinch at Wessex’s strained, singular word.
“I had to,” she admits quietly, certain the Wraith will hear her even subdued as her voice is. Nails press into golden skin, leaving whitened crescents beneath the pressure that will flush pink when she remembers to let go. The pain is mild at best, but grounding. “I did something terrible. Something that put a friend in a bad position - one I had to rectify, because it was my fault. So I had my orders.” Some twisted mix of a scoff and a laugh escapes her, jaded and rough. “It worked - but you already know the cost.” Deimos was back in Safrin’s graces, but they were both exiled now. At least he had more than she did. Hotaru is glad for that. Fiercely and sincerely. At least it had not all been for naught.
It won’t be the last time they're told to work against each other. Hotaru is all too aware of that. Frey might be the lesser evil of the Old Gods if you hated them, and Hotaru certainly wasn’t a pawn worthy of commanding, but all the same she wasn’t on the same side as Wessex. Even doing nothing at all would still put her in the camp of complacency.
what I did, do, to me and you, keeps me awake
if I were a ghost, you'd be the proof
if I were a ghost, you'd be the proof
