but the thing is, even if i could go back, i wouldn't belong there anymore
The question of what she had to give up is overwhelming to her achingly numb mind. But for a moment, she draws a blank. "I ... I don't know, it just.. everything changed so fast. I felt less freedom than before. Like everything I did and said mattered, reflected on Torchline, became a political move that might start or hold back the war." She swallows, trying to explain better, "S-someone.. came to me asking for my help. An Ascended. I was afraid that if I helped her, it would come back to haunt me in one way or another. I don't want her to be my enemy but, with what's coming... I don't know if we get the luxury of that choice. Any of us." And Aurelia didn't want to be the one that aided the wrong side... but she knows, deep down, she knows in her heart that she's the one on the wrong side of all this.
She flinches and sucks in a sharp breath as Mildew closes in on the worst parts of the wound, feeling her muscles shake from the pain and fatigue. For several moments, it's blinding, but she pulls through it if only because she has no choice but to.
Catching her breath as the pain ebbs, she listens to Mildew's words as best she can. There's a furrow in her brow, partially from her face being contorted by her physical struggles, partly for those that are more concerned with matters of the heart and mind. When Mildew gives her no straight opinion on what she'd done, she's not sure what to make of it. Perhaps, it is something better laid to rest...
A poor time, indeed. "I know I can't go back but-" she laughs woefully, tears springing to her eyes as she directs her gaze down at the witch's hand on her scar, "I wish-I really wish I could."
Aurelia's gaze flickers upward in surprise, only to lower once again. She's moved by it, the fact that Mildew wants to help protect her from harm. She sniffs back her tears, but doesn't bother with trying to wipe them away. Instead, she reaches for the woman's hand and rests her palm over it. "If she does want to come for me still, after all this time, I am sure that she would destroy me. But I.. I believe that she has her sights set on bigger fish. She stole the throne of Halo briefly, until Morgan fought for it back."
She sighs wearily, "Before I was brought to Caido, I hunted mages for a living. I hated them, their magic. It killed my father... Now that I'm one of them, I know exactly just how this kind of power can corrupt one's mind. Even the strong-minded. But I also know that there is nothing anyone can do to escape something so powerful. I wouldn't even know where to start, as far as protection goes." She shakes her head. "There are so many enemies I might one day face, Hotaru is... only one of them."
She flinches and sucks in a sharp breath as Mildew closes in on the worst parts of the wound, feeling her muscles shake from the pain and fatigue. For several moments, it's blinding, but she pulls through it if only because she has no choice but to.
Catching her breath as the pain ebbs, she listens to Mildew's words as best she can. There's a furrow in her brow, partially from her face being contorted by her physical struggles, partly for those that are more concerned with matters of the heart and mind. When Mildew gives her no straight opinion on what she'd done, she's not sure what to make of it. Perhaps, it is something better laid to rest...
A poor time, indeed. "I know I can't go back but-" she laughs woefully, tears springing to her eyes as she directs her gaze down at the witch's hand on her scar, "I wish-I really wish I could."
Aurelia's gaze flickers upward in surprise, only to lower once again. She's moved by it, the fact that Mildew wants to help protect her from harm. She sniffs back her tears, but doesn't bother with trying to wipe them away. Instead, she reaches for the woman's hand and rests her palm over it. "If she does want to come for me still, after all this time, I am sure that she would destroy me. But I.. I believe that she has her sights set on bigger fish. She stole the throne of Halo briefly, until Morgan fought for it back."
She sighs wearily, "Before I was brought to Caido, I hunted mages for a living. I hated them, their magic. It killed my father... Now that I'm one of them, I know exactly just how this kind of power can corrupt one's mind. Even the strong-minded. But I also know that there is nothing anyone can do to escape something so powerful. I wouldn't even know where to start, as far as protection goes." She shakes her head. "There are so many enemies I might one day face, Hotaru is... only one of them."
Aurelia
