stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires
"If you had died—"
He would've left so many things unsaid, so many things undone. He would've died the stupid death he knew not to play with; would've walked into the monster's mouth, and been swallowed by the endless dark. He knew these things, and yet he had ridden into the dark, wild and alive and terrified and elated. He had paid for it once already, and he dreaded the dawn as much as he longed for it. He was afraid he'd pay for it again when the sunlight returned.
And somehow, it felt like the price hadn't been high enough; that it should've cost them more to go out into the dark.
"I am too," he responded quietly, watching Remi's face—the smile—the direction of his gaze. He couldn't help but feel like he wasn't enough, as if it was somehow his fault that Remi looked at the bed, that he seemed.. not quite dimmed, but as if they didn't quite know what to say. Rory was not always a serious creature, but it felt like he had spent each encounter trying to hammer into Remi that Caido was dangerous, everything is dangerous, the barrier is dangerous, the demon is dangerous, there's no way out, no way out, no way out, no way out—
He just wanted Remi to be safe. He just wanted the Outlanders to stop trying to change everything, to stop trying to get out, to.. stop...
But everything's always changing, anyway; his mantra since waking up.
"I appreciate the offer," Rory said quietly, watching the man's hands, remember the tiny raccoon sitting cheekily at the top of the perch. "I'll probably be leaving when the Long Night ends. I'm..."
I'm trapped
He licked his lips carefully, studying the face that was now so familiar to him, but had been so alien when he had first arrived in the bubble. He remembered the hand, outstretched. The doubt and threat in Elyna's voice. It felt like in every encounter, Remi offered so much more than Rory could accept, or reciprocate.
"I'm sorry I didn't visit your shop before Long Night. I meant to, I'd love to see what it is you do. I was just..." So busy? Too busy for friends? He wasn't used to having to make time for people in quite such a way. "I kept thinking, 'tomorrow maybe', but tomorrow just had more preparations, more problems, more.. of everything, except free time. I—"
He probably hadn't even told Remi he wanted to visit his shop before. There was a lot of things he thought, but never said. ".. I don't know. I'm just sorry I haven't sought you out."
He would've left so many things unsaid, so many things undone. He would've died the stupid death he knew not to play with; would've walked into the monster's mouth, and been swallowed by the endless dark. He knew these things, and yet he had ridden into the dark, wild and alive and terrified and elated. He had paid for it once already, and he dreaded the dawn as much as he longed for it. He was afraid he'd pay for it again when the sunlight returned.
And somehow, it felt like the price hadn't been high enough; that it should've cost them more to go out into the dark.
"I am too," he responded quietly, watching Remi's face—the smile—the direction of his gaze. He couldn't help but feel like he wasn't enough, as if it was somehow his fault that Remi looked at the bed, that he seemed.. not quite dimmed, but as if they didn't quite know what to say. Rory was not always a serious creature, but it felt like he had spent each encounter trying to hammer into Remi that Caido was dangerous, everything is dangerous, the barrier is dangerous, the demon is dangerous, there's no way out, no way out, no way out, no way out—
He just wanted Remi to be safe. He just wanted the Outlanders to stop trying to change everything, to stop trying to get out, to.. stop...
But everything's always changing, anyway; his mantra since waking up.
"I appreciate the offer," Rory said quietly, watching the man's hands, remember the tiny raccoon sitting cheekily at the top of the perch. "I'll probably be leaving when the Long Night ends. I'm..."
I'm trapped
He licked his lips carefully, studying the face that was now so familiar to him, but had been so alien when he had first arrived in the bubble. He remembered the hand, outstretched. The doubt and threat in Elyna's voice. It felt like in every encounter, Remi offered so much more than Rory could accept, or reciprocate.
"I'm sorry I didn't visit your shop before Long Night. I meant to, I'd love to see what it is you do. I was just..." So busy? Too busy for friends? He wasn't used to having to make time for people in quite such a way. "I kept thinking, 'tomorrow maybe', but tomorrow just had more preparations, more problems, more.. of everything, except free time. I—"
He probably hadn't even told Remi he wanted to visit his shop before. There was a lot of things he thought, but never said. ".. I don't know. I'm just sorry I haven't sought you out."
