Hotaru
In some ways maybe they both needed this, this inelegant, fumbling emotional truth to really come to terms with what has happened between them. That's a thought for Sober-Ru however, because right now she can only wince and clench her eyes shut against the rightful accusation he lobs back at her. "I should have," she agrees, because she's not going to argue that point. More than the fire, or sleeping with Remi, the lie is what she regrets most. "I was so invested in making sure Morgan didn't find out, that I didn't tip our hand early because of my own stupid mistakes...I was a mess, Jata. And I hurt you because I didn't have my shit together." And that's the long and short of it, regardless of the hurt he'd caused beforehand, because the point of contention is the lying that had ensnared them in that moment. And she echoes the same sentiment he'd said moments ago right back at him - "And I never meant to hurt you."
They're holding onto each other like they're both drowning, and Hotaru isn't sure anymore if they're buoying each other up or dragging each other down. Doesn't rightly care with how intoxicated she is by both alcohol and his scent. Stealing the moment greedily, with both hands, so that she can carry it with her when she goes again. Knowing that even as teeth come out and frustrations mount as they are in this moment, he is still safe. That if she says the word, the matter will be dropped, or that if she loses all control he will shelter her. It tears her apart to know that, just as much as it gives her the strength to keep breathing.
"Everyone knows the bad boys are more fun," Ru mutters petulantly, as if disapproving of this vague general entity Sunjata has mentioned. "Their loss." It comes out firmer and more cohesive than her previous slurred mutter as if emboldened by her certainty.
Distracted by the length of his arm as it enters her field of vision so abruptly, her scowl is delayed but very much so present at the mere whiff of an order. Cattily petulant as she lifts her head to glare at him, hand snaking for - a glass that isn't there. Watching him finish his own drink, she spits a curse that's more hiss, the lion close to the surface as she is thwarted effortlessly. "Bastard," she grumbles, almost able to feel the prissy flick of her tail if she were shifted. Maybe it's the closeness of the cat that keeps her from losing it right there at the table, dimming the sharpness of human emotion, but whatever it is she's grateful for it as she weathers the turbulent waves of fresh grief.
"Walk. Yes, let's walk," Ru forces between numb lips, chest shuddering sharply with breaths that hitch unevenly. She lurches up, slamming her knee into the table and cursing as she stumbles fawnlike from the booth, fueled by determination and desperation for fresh air and wholly lacking any awareness of gravity or balance. Blind to the people around them and what it means for once, embracing her own novice drinking abilities and the way it narrows the world down for once in her goddamn life. Sparing her from thinking, always fucking thinking, because her brain can never rest. How she makes it outside is a mystery, but when she does she jerks to a stop as she feels the rain on her skin. As novel as a child feeling it for the first time. Right there on the pathway up to the door she tilts her head up to the sky and closes her eyes and stands there, letting the rain drench her until her golden hair is dark and slick against her skull.
They're holding onto each other like they're both drowning, and Hotaru isn't sure anymore if they're buoying each other up or dragging each other down. Doesn't rightly care with how intoxicated she is by both alcohol and his scent. Stealing the moment greedily, with both hands, so that she can carry it with her when she goes again. Knowing that even as teeth come out and frustrations mount as they are in this moment, he is still safe. That if she says the word, the matter will be dropped, or that if she loses all control he will shelter her. It tears her apart to know that, just as much as it gives her the strength to keep breathing.
"Everyone knows the bad boys are more fun," Ru mutters petulantly, as if disapproving of this vague general entity Sunjata has mentioned. "Their loss." It comes out firmer and more cohesive than her previous slurred mutter as if emboldened by her certainty.
Distracted by the length of his arm as it enters her field of vision so abruptly, her scowl is delayed but very much so present at the mere whiff of an order. Cattily petulant as she lifts her head to glare at him, hand snaking for - a glass that isn't there. Watching him finish his own drink, she spits a curse that's more hiss, the lion close to the surface as she is thwarted effortlessly. "Bastard," she grumbles, almost able to feel the prissy flick of her tail if she were shifted. Maybe it's the closeness of the cat that keeps her from losing it right there at the table, dimming the sharpness of human emotion, but whatever it is she's grateful for it as she weathers the turbulent waves of fresh grief.
"Walk. Yes, let's walk," Ru forces between numb lips, chest shuddering sharply with breaths that hitch unevenly. She lurches up, slamming her knee into the table and cursing as she stumbles fawnlike from the booth, fueled by determination and desperation for fresh air and wholly lacking any awareness of gravity or balance. Blind to the people around them and what it means for once, embracing her own novice drinking abilities and the way it narrows the world down for once in her goddamn life. Sparing her from thinking, always fucking thinking, because her brain can never rest. How she makes it outside is a mystery, but when she does she jerks to a stop as she feels the rain on her skin. As novel as a child feeling it for the first time. Right there on the pathway up to the door she tilts her head up to the sky and closes her eyes and stands there, letting the rain drench her until her golden hair is dark and slick against her skull.
But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean
And I do things that I don't really mean
