Hotaru
Don't they all? Being a parent right now is one of the hardest things Hotaru has faced in her years as a mother, and he doesn't need to speak the rest of what's on his mind for her to know the struggle he's dealing with. "She will be. You'll tell her that her mother, who loves her no matter what relationship you have with her, has ensured her protection. You'll ease her mind the moment you return home, just as you'll ease Nate's should he have any doubts." Her voice is melodic, as if whispering things to dream of instead of assurances. "She will see one less burden on your shoulders. And if she needs friends, there are plenty for her to meet - Paige, the twins, Remi's boy." Friends to keep her mind off the war, so close to it as she is. "She will be happy. But until you are, it won't matter." And to ensure that, he needs to deal with these grievances, these anxieties and decisions that she can only advise on, incapable of taking the choice from his hands.
Feeling his uncertainty, his doubt, is like a knife to her heart. She goes very still where she lies atop him, though she presses her knees down into the mattress to begin lifting herself off him. "I can go," she says softly, keeping her voice carefully clear of any emotions or accusations. "Or I can perch on the headboard, until you feel you can." For once she doesn't know what he needs. To talk? To separate? Go for a walk out in the moonlight? Hotaru would do any of it if he would just say the word, but for now she can only try to tread water, wanting to be less of a dagger in his side but unable to help the sharpness of her nature.
Feeling his uncertainty, his doubt, is like a knife to her heart. She goes very still where she lies atop him, though she presses her knees down into the mattress to begin lifting herself off him. "I can go," she says softly, keeping her voice carefully clear of any emotions or accusations. "Or I can perch on the headboard, until you feel you can." For once she doesn't know what he needs. To talk? To separate? Go for a walk out in the moonlight? Hotaru would do any of it if he would just say the word, but for now she can only try to tread water, wanting to be less of a dagger in his side but unable to help the sharpness of her nature.
But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean
And I do things that I don't really mean
