use your best colors for my portrait

Maeve

Hotaru could have told her to meet her at the top of the Draig Cordillera and Maeve would have been there. Dragons be damned. Instead the request is an easier one. The only thing that slows her is the chill in the air and the snow on the ground, but she's learned how to prepare better for the cold. Thanks to Hotaru. The lessons from their first formal meeting not forgotten. The Nightshade draws her coat more tightly around her, drawing herself deeper into the scarf around her neck, cheeks and nose already pink from the snow.

Her heart feels as if it's in her throat. Skin too tight and stomach twisted into knots. Somehow despite the freezing temperatures her palms still manage to sweat, a trembling in her fingers that she can't seem to still, but she tries. Maeve's boots crunch through the snow and Aidon flies above her, casting a dark shadow across the shore, the dark scales of his underbelly standing out against the sky above him. His reassurance runs along the bond, bolstering her as she presses forward, jade eyes scanning the shoreline for golden hair that will surely be glinting in the early morning sunlight.

The breath she was taking catches in her throat at the sight of her. Even just her silhouette against horizon is enough to make her steps falter, nerves twisting in her belly and tightening her chest with an ache she's not expecting. The blooms held in her hands feel silly now. Some of the last flowers from her garden picked and arranged with care. Still, she clutches onto them more tightly, pressing forward until she's only a yard or so away. "Ru.." Her voice threatens to break and waver, but she draws in a shaky breath in an attempt to still her nerves. "Thank you for seeing me." It feels strangely formal, but it's the only place she knows to start.

'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater

Hotaru

The air off the water is frigid, and cuts through even the thickness of her coat. Were she not so content in the ice and firn it would have encouraged her to choose a different meeting spot. But this is where she is most at peace. Where she feels the strongest. Hotaru is not so kind as to dictate a better meeting place, one that would not give her some sort of emotional edge. She had scorched the snow to a blackened, dry circle of dirt with her lightning before sitting, arms wrapped loosely around her legs.

And she waited.

Just as she had promised.

Without Atlas, only her human ears can be relied upon - but even those are sharp as is, especially surrounded by the element she is most at home with. Maeve had no hope of sneaking up on her in the snow even if she had wanted. Standing gracefully, the Valkyrie turns to watch the Nightshade approaching, long golden hair tickling her cheeks as the cold wind pulls at it from the river's banks.

The nickname pricks at her heart even beneath the glaze of glass she has wrapped it in. "Thank you for coming," she responds quietly, composed. Keeping her distance emotionally even as she steps forward, telling herself it's fine, it's all fine. That her control will not waver even as the distance diminishes. Heterochromatic eyes search Maeve slowly, not attempting to conceal it. "You look good. Tired." But weren't they all? "How is Edmund?" Relatively safe territory for now.

i understand you now to be both companion and adversary
a familiar thorn and threat

Maeve

Nothing could have prepared her to hear the Valkyrie's voice again. The sweet dulcet tones that make her heart flutter even with how composed she keeps herself, giving nothing away, maintaining a distance from her even as the Nightshade draws closer. "Of course... You gave me a chance. I wasn't going to waste it." Maeve murmured, eyes flicking up briefly to Aidon who slowly began to circle, landing a few feet behind her in the snow. His orange eyes lock onto Hotaru, the slits narrowing as his pupils dilate and he sizes her up. She ignores his silent posturing, instead offering out the flowers, cheeks flushing as she clears her throat. "For you. They're from my garden, but I didn't put in any lavender. I know you don't like it much."

She takes her own opprotunity to look Hotaru over, jade gaze scraping over her form, checking for any physical signs of distress and finding none aside from what comes with the cold. "I am tired." While the Nightshade no longer had a baby to keep her up at all hours of the night, she was instead chasing around a six year old all day between her duties to Torchline. Her smile is soft at the mention of Edmund, "He's well. Frey aged him... He's about six now, I think. It's been a bit of a shock, but we're figuring it out. We learned that he's an Abandoned." The last part is added more quietly, confiding something in the Valkyrie that she's not shared with anyone yet, knowing that she'll understand the significance of it.

"How are you? How are the twins?" The question is turned back to her and she takes another step forward, pressing into the space that Hotaru carved out in the snow, wrapping her arms around her middle now as she tried not to shiver. Her breaths creating little clouds of fog between them.

'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater

Hotaru

Her own eyes follow Aidon even as her ears are tuned to Maeve's soft response. Her honesty, as always, rocks Hotaru's defenses. For a woman steeped in duplicity, such nakedness is disarming, unsettling. Hotaru has searched for a way to counter honesty in the past. Has yet to find anything. It is a weapon in the hands of people who would never use it as such. The contrasting power to the likes of people like her, who work on the opposite side of the spectrum, hardly ever honest even with themselves. Aidon's eyes are arresting, but his judgment slides off Hotaru's back like water on oil-slick feathers. There is only the aching void where Atlas would be, staring right back. That thought turns her head away, back to Maeve.

Delicate hands slowly reach to accept the flowers. Careful to keep any skin from brushing as if it would somehow break this civility they're managing. A ragged exhale is the only betrayal of her composure when Maeve admits to the absence of lavender. "Thank you," she murmurs, and brings the blooms to her nose to inhale their sweet scent. "I'm surprised you remembered." Hotaru isn't sure if that says more about how she sees herself, or how she sees Maeve.

It seems Remi was right about Frey's abilities with children however, and she tucks that bit of information away to ruminate on later. Perhaps it would be better to take the children before the end of the season, as she'd proposed? "Is it easier, now that he's older? I'm scared I'd miss the younger years, even if they wouldn't remember them anyway." A small slip of vulnerability, one that has her hands tightening around the stalks in her hands. But even then, she cannot help but try to comfort the woman somehow, and she opens one hand to let a small breeze tickle against Maeve's cheek. "There is no shame in being Abandoned. Though it places him at a disadvantage, Frey has never spurned me for it." She cannot speak to the other gods, but at least he would have one to turn to if he wanted to pursue that route.

Hotaru allows the woman to move closer, until they are huddled together on the scorched circle of earth. "I was unwell for some time," she murmurs, the corners of her eyes tight with self-hatred. "I...wanted to hurt them. I was sick with grief, with sorrow. Remi took them, took care of them, until Phoebe could heal me. I've only just been reunited with them - but they are doing well. Unbothered by my short absence." And for that she is grateful beyond measure. It is a huge thing, to tell Maeve this, and yet she can't imagine telling anyone else aside from Deimos. Maeve is a mother now, and they'd been close once - both are things that make her tentatively trustworthy in this instance. "Remi proposed taking them to Frey to age them as well. I said yes. Before the end of the season."

i understand you now to be both companion and adversary
a familiar thorn and threat

Maeve

There are many times in her life that she has to lie. Daily occurrences in which Maeve has to hide away the truth. Be it of her feelings or thoughts or anything in between. Yet her honesty comes easily to Ru. She doesn't hide her feelings here. How could she? If there was meant to be any sort of mending to their once shared bond Maeve couldn't risk it. Not now. Not ever. The slight prickle of Aidon's worry travels along the bond and Maeve pushes back against it, silently reassuring him that there was nothing to worry about, daring a quick glance back at her companion as he huffs out a bit of smoke before he draws closer.

The Nightshade watches as she brings the flowers up to her nose, noting the exhale just before, tucking away the reaction in the back of her mind. "You're welcome." Maeve murmurs, voice barely loud enough to be heard over the water lapping at the shore. Dark brows knit together, head tilting to the side as she huffs out a soft sound that might be a laugh, but there isn't much humor found. If anything it's colored by a quiet disbelief at her statement. "Of course I remember. I remember everything you've told me." The admission perhaps reveals more than she wants it to, but it slips from her anyway like a breeze through the boughs of the nearby trees.

"In some ways. A part of me wishes I had more time. He is my first and there are moments that I wish I had, but I'm just happy he's healthy." She got a lot of the big firsts. His first steps, his first words, and many other things in between, but the Nightshade still wishes she had some more time with him before he was changed. Her eyes snap up to Hotaru's feeling the breeze against her cheek that's so different from the air surrounding them. Warm like a summer breeze, kissing her chilled skin, chasing away the cold for only a moment. "He met Safrin. Before he was aged. I don't think she would turn him away and I doubt that Frey would, but I worry." Something she would likely always do when it came to her son.

The confession from Hotaru has a pained sound rising from her chest and she can't help the way her fingers twitch, hesitating for only a moment before she reaches out, catching her free hand and giving her fingers a squeeze. Her gloves keep their skin from touching, but the feeling of the Valkyrie's fingers in hers is enough to make her heart leap, stomach twisting. She was familiar with that ailment, having seen it multiple times in many of the girls at the Halenani, knowing how difficult it could be to come back from that. The guilt that plagued them afterwards. "I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you're better now. I don't know if this will ease you at all, but I just finished a quest for Safrin." Maeve begins, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing on it for the span of a breath before she continues. "All children will be safe. If they're ever in any danger Safrin will take them into her light until that danger passes. They'll be safe no matter what."

Her thumb brushes against the back of her hand and her grip loosens, but she doesn't let go. Not unless Hotaru attempts to draw back. "Edmund remembered me. He knew who I was. The process doesn't change them. Just speeds things up a bit."

'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater

Hotaru

It's certainly revelatory, and Hotaru can't help but flinch away from the naked truth. It would be a sweet sentiment were it not the fuel to the fire that casts shadows over the ensuing events Ru considers as betrayal. Pursed lips try for a smile, hoping to summon gratitude, but it's a bitter grimace of an imitation.

"There's never enough time, even when they age naturally," she shares freely, smile easier now but leagues sadder. Gods, what she wouldn't give to ensure no mother ever has to go through what she did. To spare Maeve that kind of agony. In many ways, having aged so fast is a blessing - even with Safrin's affection for Maeve and her child, Caido was a cruel place, and every year of growth and strength afforded to Edmund would strengthen his odds. "Worrying is part of the territory. You'll worry until the day you join Mort. Best get used to it now, dear." Dredges of mirth curl cold-flushed lips and crest heterochromatic eyes.

It's short-lived, but more than she has felt in what seems to be ages despite how little time has realistically passed since the twins were born. And it gives her the strength not to pull away when Maeve's hand catches her own. Though Ru isn't sure it's strength at all, but weakness that has her weakly grasping back at the skin that touches her own. The news she shares is...staggering. In fact Hotaru does stagger, just a little, at the implications. She is far from Safrin's greatest fan, but what this means for the children of Caido - for her children - is...unimaginable. Tears spring to pale golden lashes, though Ru has enough strength not to let them fall. "Gods, that's...that's incredible." It's weak in comparison to how she feels, but the Valkyrie is too blown away to achieve any better word choice.

Hotaru doesn't let go. Whether it's the right choice is to be seen, but her heart eases with every word Maeve speaks. "Thank you," she whispers, vulnerable for a moment, but willing to experience it in order to show Maeve her gratitude.

i understand you now to be both companion and adversary
a familiar thorn and threat

Maeve

A huff of a laugh pushes past cold lips, puffing in a swirl between them in the crisp air, swept away on the wind in moments. Maeve dips her head, conceding to Hotaru's words, knowing she was likely right. She would always worry for him. It's almost enough to distract her from the soft term of endearment that slips from Hotaru's lips and her cheeks flush with it, mixing with the tinge of the cold that's already colored them a soft pink, deepening the shade on her pale cheeks. "I suppose you're right."

The conversation quickly shifts and Maeve shares news that she hopes will be the start of patching things up between them. A new beginning of sorts. Her breath catches at the sight of tears clinging to golden lashes and for a span of a few seconds she worries that perhaps she's upset her until the Valkyrie speaks. Words of gratitude fall from her tongue and Maeve takes a tentative step forward when Hotaru doesn't pull away from her touch. Her fingers tighten and her other hand comes up, the backs of her fingers brushing a tear from the woman's cheek before cupping it lightly as if she was made of glass, cradling her face.

"You don't have to thank me, Ru." She whispers back, words almost lost to the sharp breeze that pulls at their hair and clothes as she leans forward. Her forehead presses against Ru's skin cold and numb, but the contact burns through her brightly. Another breath exhales between them, mingling with the Valkyrie's as the Nightshade lingers there. "I hope that you know I was thinking of you when I was doing this. The twins. All of the children, but you were in my mind. I- I'm glad I could give you this."

Maeve swallows thickly, lashes fluttering against her cheekbones as she lets her eyes close, "I hope this can be a step towards fixing things. I- I miss you." That last confession, so fragile and vulnerable, has her stomach twisting into knots and fear settling there with it.

'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater

Hotaru

"You'll find I usually am," Hotaru manages as her eyes linger on the color in Maeve's cheeks, levity still feeling a little forced with all that is still unsaid pooling between them. It feels as if the water is rising; above her ankles, in the hollows behind her knees, the shallows of her collarbones. Only Maeve's hand rising to cup her cheek preventing it from rising any higher where it might choke and drown her. Their shared, mingling breaths are the only warmth apart from Maeve's skin against her own that she feels. Even her insides feel cold, torn between reactions. Wanting to pull away, to center herself. To push away, overwhelmed and defensive, clinging to her hurt. To pull closer, to give in, when that has only ever worsened things for her in the past. Hotaru may be stubborn, but even she has to learn eventually that certain choices only lead to pain.

Gratitude seeks to rise on her tongue a second time when Maeve reveals her innermost thoughts, but the assertion that there was no need silences her, tongue like cotton in her mouth. The burn in her eyes this time feels bittersweet. Potential just within reach, and yet she cannot grasp it. So many other factors that Maeve would never consider awash inside Hotaru, torturing her with her own awareness, the sharpness and cruelty of her own mind.

"I miss you too," she allows, low and broken in undertone as they stand huddled close against the wind, foreheads pressed together and Maeve's pink-tinged fingers against Ru's cheek. But lays on her tongue like a heavy coin, weighing it down until she can't force it past her teeth. What good would it do to say it? Maeve will see soon enough the reasons why. Building one bridge doesn't mean repairing the old one, with all its previous connotations and ties. Maybe she can do this, make this work, so long as she doesn't allow herself to cross the line she has ignored too many times before. "We just...start small. Back to square one." It's a hand offered across the distance, an agreement to begin again, to see where it takes them.

i understand you now to be both companion and adversary
a familiar thorn and threat

Maeve

It's a little thing. Hotaru allowing her to stay in her space. Allowing her to touch her. It's intoxicating. She wants desperately to fall into the Valkyrie. She wants to drown here in this moment. It's bittersweet and sharp and almost acrid with how it stings. Yet Maeve can't deny herself this. This simple moment where they might have something more. Of course, she doesn't know what's to come. She doesn't know what Sunjata will reveal or what will happen with Locke or any of it. All of that will overshadow this moment. Will make it impossible for them to be anything beyond civil.

Maeve nods minutely, breathing in their shared breaths, letting the warmth of it fill her lungs in a way that makes her feel alive. The Nightshade licks her lips, the skin dry from the whistling wind, "Square one." She whispers, voice almost lost to the wind, barely loud enough to reach Ru's ears.

And at square one they would stay for the foreseeable future. Such is the way of things in Caido.

~FIN~

'Cause it's too cold for you here and now
so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater