the things we hold are always the first to go
"I wish I had been there," Ronin admits quietly, even as he shifts them so Remi might be properly in his lap, so he can lean in and rest his forehead against the alchemist's. "I know that's terrible to say... but I do. It didn't ever feel like I could say goodbye to her." Sniffing, he loops his arms back around Remi to draw him closer. "It's not wrong to say. I feel it as well," he whispers.
Scoffing, though it's hardly a sound of amusement, Ronin finds himself pressing careful kisses along the alchemist's shoulder and collarbone, unintentionally wetting them with his tears. "It's all stupid," he mumbles. "I just... I can't even say I wish for anything. It's exhausting and it won't make anything better." He peers up at Remi again through wet lashes. "I do still love you, though."
Scoffing, though it's hardly a sound of amusement, Ronin finds himself pressing careful kisses along the alchemist's shoulder and collarbone, unintentionally wetting them with his tears. "It's all stupid," he mumbles. "I just... I can't even say I wish for anything. It's exhausting and it won't make anything better." He peers up at Remi again through wet lashes. "I do still love you, though."