From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
"But what about the parts of me that are okay with it?" Finn wonders through a whisper, giving her hands a squeeze back and letting her guide him back to his feet. "The parts of me that are glad he's gone? I feel like I need to heal from that as well." Quite where to begin or how to consolidate it in his mind, though, that's the struggle. Still, it's with a gentle nod that he follows Tobi out of the attic, leaving his guitar with the drying blood on the strings for later.
Luckily enough they don't run into all that many people, and the route down to the apartment is largely uneventful. With Ever staying at Mateo's dorm room to study (he assumes), Finn is free to step straight in through the front door and down the hallway towards the bedroom. He takes off his glasses with slumped shoulders, as if they weigh as much as the Tower itself, and sets them down on the bedside table.
"I was worried they were going to make me the new Eye," he admits softly.
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
"Those parts are just fine, too." Tobi replies confidently. "I see dead bodies all the time and am rarely rattled by it." She adds, trying to shift the focus away from Cian being a prick who got what was coming to him, and towards the ability to simply be okay with certain things. "Then we will work on healing those parts too." Later when Finn returns, he'll find Safrin's strings free of his blood. Whether they have magically cleaned themselves or if the strings have soaked in the Spyglass's blood won't be readily apparent.
Leaving Finn to the bedroom, Tobi runs some hot water, adding a few oils that have homeopathic calming effects. Even if they don't, the doctor likes the smell of them. Returning to Finn with a bowl and washcloth, Tobi sets them down on the bedside table and reaches for the hem of the Spyglass's shirt to tug it over his head. Sweatstained and bloody she doesn't allow it to be neatly folded, but instead throws it towards the hall where she can dispose of it later. "No one can make you do anything, now." Tobi says softly, knowing that this will be as much of a comfort as it is some perilous look down a cliff for Finn.
Reaching for his hands, Tobi softly cleans the blood off with gentle motions; not because there are any wounds, but because she loves Finn so much, that even his pain is worth savouring for the him of it all.
"Even if they don't have their bodies attached?" Finn asks softly. He doesn't know if he's seen bodies before now (he has, but it's only been fleeting and in passing; a sad shape in an alley during Deepfrost; a man who didn't wake up in his cell at the Needle) but if so, they've all been people shaped. Nodding, as if healing is something he can work on just as well as anything else, he potters in the bedroom while Tobi does so elsewhere.
By the time she comes to join him he'll have placed his glasses into the case she'd gotten for him and removed the useless bandaids from his fingers. Once the idea of someone removing his shirt for him would have sent a chill right into the pit of his stomach - but for Tobi? Finn all but leans into it, letting her strip him of the garment even if he does flash a reproachful glance out at the hallway where she throws it.
"I know," he says with all the temerity and wonder of a man taking his first steps outside after years of imprisonment. "It frightens me, a bit." Softly, he pulls his bloody fingers out of her grip so he can step forward and close the distance between them, his arms slipping around her to hold her close against his chest.
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
"Even then." Tobi agrees. Dead was dead for the doctor, and so long as a death was quick, the gruesome matter in which it happened was typically not something that crossed her mind. 'I promise you that this will fade, but it will take time." Never one to needlessly sugarcoat things, Tobi smiles. "You will see it when you close your eyes, it will wake you from your sleep, and mundane things like the core of an apple might even remind you of it. All that is normal, and if you go forward knowing to expect it, it will be easier to deal with."
Feeling sympathy for Finn but not pitying him, it's with a slight frown that she watches his fingers slide out of hers, only to wrap around her instead. Rather than melting into his embrace Tobi continues to stand firm as she slides her arms around him in return, tucking her head comfortably under his chin. "Of course it does." She murmurs against him. "I wouldn't believe you if you said it didn't." Closing her eyes and listening to the sound of his heartbeat, Tobi nuzzles her cheek against his warmth. "Remember, you don't have to decide anything right now." She adds, much as she might want to remind him that it was possible for him to just leave the Order altogether if he wanted to.
Letting out a shuddering sigh, Finn lets his head tilt to rest against her own, his arms tightening around her a bit as if only just realising that, for the first time in his life, he actually has someone to hold onto in situations like this. "Okay," he says softly, and then again, "okay. Thank you." Inhaling softly and letting himself feel Tobi against him, Finn's eyes drop closed and - as if prompted by Tobi's remarks - Cian's face flashes in front of him.
With eyes snapping back open, Finn flinches back, though of course it isn't the doctor's fault. "Sorry," he whispers, his heart racing in his chest. Gently he steps back to sink down onto the bed, raking his fingers through his curls and pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. You don't have to decide anything right now, she says, and he understands that much, at least. "I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep, Tobi."
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
Feeling Finn's heartrate suddenly skyrocket and his body stiffens and shift, Tobi holds the Spyglass all the more tightly. It was a grip he could break easily if he wanted to, but then, the doctor's affections were not so fragile as to be undone so easily. "It's okay." She whispers soothingly. "You're okay." Despite how natural it would be to allow herself to sink down onto his lap so that she doesn't have to part from him, Tobi instead sits down at his side.
'You might surprise yourself.' Running a hand gently up his back, her fingers trickling over his scars as she maps out whimsical patterns, she leans against him softly. "Why don't we try to sleep first, and if you can't, I'll give you something to help." Though Tobi was fine prescribing something for Finn, she didn't want his first reaction to trauma to be seeking out drugs. Tilting her head to press her lips against his bare shoulder, she inhales deeply, hoping he might subconsciously mirror her actions.
01-18-2022, 07:38 PM (This post was last modified: 01-18-2022, 07:39 PM by Finn.)
awareness is the enemy of sanity
The warm and gentle hand against his scars still has all the muscles of his back rippling with tension, at first, Finn dragging his hands away from his face and sitting up, as if expecting a whipcrack rather than affection. He relaxes by degrees, though, his hand moving to gently rest against her knee, his body shifting enough that he can press a kiss against her dark hair at the same time as she delivers one to his bare shoulder.
"Alright," he says, knowing from years of insomnia that sleep will not come, but he's not going to stop Tobi from trying. "Is it late? I didn't keep track of time in the attic." Because if it's only just the evening, he doesn't think he wants to even attempt resting right now. "We could get something to eat, maybe. Or make some tea."
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
'It's...dark out, but no, it isn't terribly late.' It was around nine or so, which meant they could go to sleep, but if Finn wanted to try and encourage being tired by staying up, Tobi had no problems with it. "Tea sounds nice..Or even wine. And I think there's a bit of that cheese made in Halo, with crackers and a bit of fruit?" Honestly, Tobi couldn't quite remember what was in their kitchen, but there would be enough to fill Finn's stomach, assuming he would probably only nibble at things anyways.
With her fingers still roaming up and down his spine, Tobi reluctantly stands, trailing her hand down his arm to gently take his hand in hers. "You have me, this time, Finn." She reminds him with a loving sort of softness; not only was he not alone, but he had someone who loved him at this side this time.
"That does sound good," Finn admits with the barest hints of a smile on his face, the first of the day, it feels like. Wine, crackers, cheese and fruit. As if just realising how long it has been since the meeting in earnest, all of a sudden the Spyglass feels hungry, and his fingers gently wrap around Tobi's as she rises to her feet. Giving her hand a squeeze, he draws it to his lips to leave a kiss against the back of her palm. "And you have no idea how much I appreciate it," he murmurs.
Rising to his feet as well, he doesn't bother to get a new shirt as he leads them out of the bedroom - though the one in the hallway that Tobi has thrown does receive a look, like he might go back for it - and Finn heads into the kitchen on autopilot. He isn't okay right now, but he at least has the sense to know that. Not only that, he knows he will be okay again, one way or another. And that makes all the difference in the world.
"Is Everest staying over with Mateo tonight?" he wonders, reaching for the wine glasses and the deep red bottle in one of the cupboards. "I imagine the boys have heard all about what happened..."
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
"My sweet man." Tobi whispers, her heart fluttering delicately in her chest as his lips meet her skin. Her smile is inappropriately wide, but gods she can't help it. Even at his darkest, when the strain he's under causes his fractures to split and stretch, she loves him so much more than she'd initially thought she would.
Had Finn stopped to address the thrown shirt, he'd have found himself lovingly shoved by Tobi to keep going. "I think so. He said that they have a project to work on, which may or may not be school related." She answers with a maternal smirk and roll of her eyes. Opening their fridge to pull out a few mismatched containers of fruit, the doctor pauses. "Possibly...you were on the scene fairly quickly though. It's possible that it hasn't reached them yet." Whoever might have seen the Spyglass and Dragoons in the Plaza and whatever subsequent gossip they'd spread might not have reached the pair of overly curious boys, holed up in Mateo's room. 'Though I'm sure Ever's first instinct is going to be to ask what it means for us."
Finn pours them both wine and corks the bottle again, and reaches up to grab a box of crackers and a wooden board to put everything on. These familiar, domestic movements as well as talk of their son does so much to rub a balm on his sharp edges that he almost feels a laugh bubbling up in the back of his throat. It probably explains why he's turning suddenly to intercept Tobi on her way across the kitchen, easing containers of fruit out of her hands so he can catch her lips in a sudden, warm kiss.
"Luckily, Ever will have nothing to worry about when he asks," he murmurs when he finally draws back, pressing another kiss to her forehead. "We will be just fine, and so will he." And Finn will make sure of that if nothing else in his life. "Shall we sit in the living room and eat?"
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
It's surprising, welcome, and nearly has Tobi's knees buckling. Gasping in the wake of his kiss, Tobi's eyes flutter open to peer curiously into Finn's eyes as if she might read within his storm clouds the rhyme or reason for his sudden affections. 'I love you.' She whispers as the kiss to her forehead has her eyes closing again, and her heart skipping a happy beat as her lips already lament the loss of Finn's against them.
'Maybe we could all go on a holiday.' Tobi suggests with a small shrug, happy to have Finn laugh it off or take it seriously. 'Sure.' She agrees of eating in the living room. "But I would like to eat on the floor. My back is sore.' Tobi adds, flashing Finn a smile and nodding towards the cheese and fruit, indicating she will carry in the wine and crackers.
Suddenly starving herself, Tobi sits down using the base of the couch as something to anchor her back against. Exhaling a pained sigh that spoke of relief, Tobi reaches for a bit of cheese and a grape, pressing them together before popping them into her mouth. "Do you know much about dragons, Finn?"
"I love you too," Finn murmurs with a third and final kiss, this time against the crown of her head, before he's releasing her to go back to his snack-making. "A holiday? Sure - where would you like to go? I think Ever would probably prefer somewhere familiar," he says, carrying the cheese and fruit dutifully into the living room. "You ought to get your weird bridge thing again," he says, surprising himself with a flush to his cheeks. He's of course referring to when she helped him to stretch previously, an act which led to sex on her office floor.
Covering how flustered he is with a rather large gulp of wine, the Spyglass is already selecting a cracker and some cheese to feast on when the conversation turns to dragons. "Enough, I think," he says. "I met Lena once in the Celestine, and there were a few dragonlings in an enclosure. There are plenty of books on them in the Archive, too."
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
There's a rush of emotions as Finn reciprocates, and Tobi is quite certain that the words will ring like the very first time every time she hears them from him. 'Oh, Ever would, would he?' Tobi says with a laugh, before having to pause to try and work out what he's referring to. "My weird..oh. The circle?" Huffing with a nod, she can't help but think how could that would feel right about now.
'Conveniently I know lots of stretches.' Tobi adds, not meaning for the words to sound quite as suggestive as they do, which is perhaps why she stretches her arms innocently over her head and moves them from side to side. "Do you know if they attack their own? Or are they...I suppose herd isn't the right word, but.." Shrugging her shoulders and expecting him to know what she meant , Tobi ceases her stretching for a moment to pluck her wine off of the table and take a slow sip.
