[Seasonal Event] Spring Cleaning

One would think that in a small society as this one, everyone would be familiar with just about everyone else, but that just wasn't the case. Enough people were living isolated lives focused around themselves and their own reality that many times, two persons could be neighbors for years and barely exchange two words. For Maea to not know Sam and the other way around might seem strange to an outlander, but as she lived so far from the settlement it would have been stranger if they had been friends.

The silence after Jigano left was awkward, Maea struggling just as much to find a topic even as the silence grated on her fraying nerves. Shadows crept back into her gaze, memories of sadness and loss crowding to overtake her thoughts... and the question did nothing to stave them off.

"I... used to be a hunter" the woman replied slowly. "Still am, I guess, but... I 've had to focus on the farm lately. My family, they..." Her throat constricted, could not release the words that crowded on the tongue. Begging to be set free. It would make all the sense in the world to tell him, tell anyone about it. Especially these people who were to be her friends and colleagues, and before the news reached them by way of rumors. It would be the polite thing, the correct way to do it.

But she couldn't, and turned away with eyes downcast, her thoughts a turmoil that manifested in a storm of pebbles, shooting off towards the growing pile.

Having something to do was nice. Having to make conversation was not.

"You live here, I take it. Writing books?"

Sam didn't think it was odd he didn't know Maea. Having spent many years inside and only venturing out on days he was brave enough to man his stall, there were plenty of Naturals he didn't know. Faces he might have seen from a distance at the market but had never dared to approach, his natural inclination from a strange face to hide and run. Because he was awful at talking to them. As proven by the way his question drew a clearly pained silence from Maea, her eyes casting downward at the mention of her family. Immediately he assumed they must have died, during Longnight or at the hands of one of the many other dangers of Caido. She would not be the only orphan here, far from it. (He often wished he was lucky enough to be, but alas his parents refused to die). "Um..y-yes. Not just writing. Making...and...and copying, and selling...." His explanation got more and more slow and stunted as time went on, the awkward tension like a rock pressing down on his head. "Do you want...wa-want me to te..teach you to read?" He asked, the question abrupt and inspired by Jigano's earlier discussion of it. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

That piqued her interest. Being a farmgirl with only the barest minimum of education, books held an almost magical allure to Maea. They were like little worlds contained within leather and paper, an expensive luxury and a great mystery. Coming face to face with someone who could not only read them and write them but actually make them was just as incredible, and some of that alluring mystique automatically leeched over onto the soft-spoken man.

She looked up, blissfully distracted from remembering or focusing on her own selfish grief, and a small smile softened the expression in her eyes as he offered to teach her.

"Do you want to? I would very much like to learn, but you don't have to..." Maea would hate to be a nuisance, or distract from more pressing matters.

"Can you mend books too? I found an old one at home, tucked away with my mothers old things. It's full of songs, sheet music too, I think, and I wanted to show it to Jigano... But it's almost falling apart and I didn't dare bring it along."

"Oh, o-of course. If you could..p-put up with my...my st-stutters." He smiled, trying to hide the pain that always came when he had to acknowledge the awkward pauses and sharp edges in his voice, especially to someone he didn't know so well. The offer was real enough though: he would teach if she would be taught. To his relief she asked him a question that was easy to answer, something more like the kind of things clients at his shop would present. "Probably. If...if I c-couldn't mend it, I'd c..copy it for you. Make a new one." He had done it plenty of times - painstakingly getting each stroke right, looking between two pages as if they were holy scripts and it was a matter of life and death to get it right. "...You kn..know...if you um..d-don't have a trade.." Sam's mouth had begun to move before his brain had caught up and he tried madly to slam on the brakes, but he kept talking: "I c..could teach you to make books. Someone t-taught me." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

"Of course. Everyone have their difficulties..." Maea touched her pale fingers to the equally colorless hair with a rueful smike. "I should probably tell you, my eyes are quite bad. I don't see very well, and it's getting worse. Hence the need for spectacles.. and a remedy."

Strange, how quickly the problems that seemed so dire and embarrassing a few weeks ago had become trivial. What had been so hard to reveal to Jigano fell off her tongue with ease now, no less urgent a problem but so simple compared to the devastating loss she had yet to come to terms with.

The offer to teach more than simply reading caught Maea off guard, and she dropped the rock she had just lifted with a rattle. Gaping slightly at the bookmaker, mind racing to process the meaning. Being a farmer or hunter was not her actual trade? Well... one had been out of necessity, and the other was a heritage, a way of life really. But a trade... Maea har never really considered what she wanted to do, only what she had to. But if the barrier fell, if things changed for the better, if survival was no longer the only goal, did she want to be a bookbinder? To make them, write them, care for them?

It certainly seemed appropriate for an aspiring lorekeeper to at least know how.

"That... would be wonderful. I'd love to try! If you want to teach me, if you think I could..?"

Jigano's silver tongue - and shameless charming of the nearby stonemason, who happened to be one of the people he and Sam had saved from the dracolich's book - had earned him not only an awning to borrow for a few hours, but a wheelbarrow and small shovel as well. The poles fit awkwardly, but it made transporting everything significantly easier. Better still, he could see Maea and Sam from a distance as he made his way back, the two shy Loreseekers talking in what appeared to be a perfectly cordial and friendly fashion.

He didn't know Maea well yet, but he was proud of the bookmaker's strides in confidence and social situations, Sam's practice at his shop and the Rathskeller paying off. The bard approached openly, grinning as he let the wheelbarrow rest and surveyed the progress Maea had made with an impressed whistle. "Your diligence does you credit!" he praised, sharing a grin for Sam as well as he began setting up the poles and the awning over the space the pale woman had cleared of rocks and other debris. "This will make the digging much easier, without all that rubble in the way!"

He looked between them with sly good humor as the shade went up, protecting the Ascended from inadvertent sunlight so he could work without worry. "Did I miss anything good while I was gone?"

"Oh. Well...i-if you can handle my st...stutters, I can...ha-handle your eyes." Sam promised with a small smile, almost glad to find someone who could understand his difficulties. Perhaps, he thought, he could make her a practice book with bigger letters in darker ink, so it would be easier to see. He knew he would have appreciated help like that when he was trying to talk at all clearly, knew how much a kind action could help towards your resolve. He was shocked by his offer too, but the more he thought on it the more he liked it. He had been taught his trade, after all, by the last bookmaker in the village - when he'd died Sam had become the only one. If he wanted the work to survive he needed to pass the skills on, and it felt good to have the knowledge to give. "Great! Yes. It's...n-not that hard. We'll...w-work out a time." Jigano suddenly returned carrying what looked like a rather cumbersome awning, which Sam felt was mostly unnecessary but let be set up anyway, thinking it might help his friends nerves. "Thank you." He said once it was up and set to work, taking a shovel and easily pushing the dirt up and aside with his advanced strength, at odds with his skinny frame and general wimpy appearance. "Oh, well. I..I'm g-going to teach Maea to r..read and make books." He told Jigano. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Ah. Time. Now that was another roaring issue that would have to be addressed soon. With the farm now entirely on her shoulders, research in the guild and lessons on top of that, not to mention everything that had to be done before the Fiat Lux, Maea predicted she would either have to stop sleeping or find someone to help with the chores. Flowerbirth was always a busy time of year but this was bordering on the insane, and the underlying cause... was incredibly hard to accept.

"Thank you" she told Sam. "It is really kind of you. I'll have to find a way to repay you..."

Shying away from the subject as though it might bite if examined too closely, she looked up as Jigano returned with a canopy and other tools. Smiling shyly at the praise and nodding in confirmation of Sam's summary, the exprassion faded as soon as she thought none of them were looking. While indeed pleased with the unexpected turn of events, her heart was still too raw to hold on to any joy for very long. Smiling was a chore, making conversation a strain... But so was doing anything at all. What Maea really needed was probably to talk to someone about what had happened, take a break and allow herself to grieve properly. Stubbornness was a flaws of hers however and she feared stopping for even a second, terrified that if she did, she might never get back on her feet again.

Taking the chance to rest while the others set up the awning, Maea fell silent. A deep  heavy quiet, that had her gaze trail off into the distance as though her thoughts had taken her far, far away.

The awning was cumbersome, but the after the Ascended's initial offer to help he had stood around and watched Maea do all the heavy lifting. Rather than leave the shy bookmaker with nothing to do but stand around and feel sorry for himself, Jigano had made an effort to find a way for Sam to comfortably assist their efforts and be part of the group. It hadn't been fun for him to be the one to have to walk away and see to the arrangements, but as guild leader he saw it as part of his responsibilities to make his fellow loreseekers feel safer and more comfortable in their work for the guild.

Hearing that Sam had come out of his shell and was offering to mentor Maea brought a broad smile to his face, delight and approval at his friend's offer of assistance in his eyes. "That's excellent news!" He hummed softly, gaze moving to make sure that the pale woman was equally pleased. "I'm sure Samuel will make an excellent teacher!" Glad to see them both in harmony, he left Sam to dig out the first window well while he moved to pace out the second, eyeing the stone blocks of the building and double-checking his mental calculations before he set to marking it out.

Noticing Maea's preoccupation, he paused beside her and cleared his throat softly. "Copper for your thoughts?" he asked gently. "How go your preparations for the Fiat Lux?"

"No r-repayment is needed." Sam told her with a smile on his face. It really wasn't; the idea of having someone wanting to learn from him was reward enough in itself. Already he was thinking of lessons, of making a page with the letters of the alphabet and some simple words to begin with, what words relevant to Maea he could use to make it more interesting... He let these thoughts take over his mind as he dug out the space around the window, making quick enough work that he could see the beginnings of the stonework that surrounded it within a few moments. Leaning on his shovel to take a break, he listened in on Jigano and Maea. In previous years, he had never been out for Fiat Lux, had never dared to venture among the normal and living for the festivities. He supposed this year he would though, simply because he was seeing the outside world so much more. Sam decided to listen for Maea's answer, interested to know what the preparations one needed to take were. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

They were kind, both of them. Gentle souls with warm hearts, who genuinely cared about others. Maea had known Jigano for a short while and Sam for less than an hour, but that much she could tell. Perhaps it would have been better if they weren't. Without their kindness and concern she might have been able to keep pretending that she was alright, that everything was fine and life carried on as usual.

Maea did not want the focus to be on her and her problems. She had never enjoyed attention, the way peoples eyes were drawn towards her and just as quickly moved away, as if she did not know how curious they were about her pale skin and white hair and could not feel the lingering gazes on her back as soon as they thought she couldn't see. Over the years she had learned to ignore the reactions in return, pretending to be unfazed by the polite un-staring and the discreet not-questions, and the mask she had donned was a rather good one. Heart encased in ice, growing a little thicker every year as she convinced herself that no one cared about her, not really. No one except her kin and blood. Now she had raised the wall again, to shelter herself from pain and loss and having to face a life without the only ones she had ever been truly comfortable with.

Only, this time it was not the thick glacier against the rippled surface of a pond, but rather the thin sheet of ice left behind by a cold night, stretched to somehow hold back a torrent of muddy water. Sam's unknowing question and Jigano's gentle prodding made her defenses crumble into nothing, and despite her attempt at answering the question with calm casualness, there was something fragile in the girls voice as she spoke, eyes turning blank with tears she worked so hard not to shed. She hated it, hated drawing attention to herself like this and put a damper on the mood. Did not want to, shouldn't, and yet...

And yet.

"Not... as fast as I'd hoped. There is much to do, but as I now have to run the farm on my o-own... I don't know that there will be much time for the f-festival this y-year..!"

Maea's voice broke and the turned away, a muscle working åt the temple as she clapped her jaws shut. Self control a heartbeat away from slipping.

From her somber quiet and body language he had expected that what was bothering her was nothing good. Long Night had been rough on everyone - and everything, even the buildings of the Settlement suffering wear and tear from being left alone for a week as people huddled inside and prayed the monsters would pass them by. As she began to speak he listened, and what she didn't say spoke as loud as what she did.

She had mentioned her family and farming when they had first met. They were the reason she had stayed in the outskirts for most of her life, he thought. But hearing that she had to run the farm on her own now...

"Maea, I am so sorry," he said softly, empathy in his voice as someone else who had lost his family to a violent end. He assumed hers were more casualties of the brutal Long Night and bowed his head in respect for those who had passed on. Perhaps theirs would be some of the souls he and Amalia would be guiding back to Ludo on the new moon... though that might not be a comforting thought to the young woman, and he didn't say it aloud.

He didn't move to touch her, giving her space and a chance to regain her poise in her own time. He glanced to Sam, empathy in his eyes for the newest Loreseeker that he hoped his friend shared, and was surprised at how far the bookmaker had already dug down. He nodded his approval, but didn't speak yet, not wanting Maea to think they were making light of her loss. "Perhaps we can find some people to help out," he said instead, after a little time had passed. "There are a number of Outlanders who might have time. They might not have training but... they could help with some of the Flowerbirth work around the farm, maybe?" Planting the year's crops, helping with the spring calving of any animals... trained hands would be better, of course, but even a little bit might help. He could put the word out the next time he performed at the Rathskeller, he decided. Even some naturals might be able to pitch in to help a neighbor out after a hard Long Night.

Sam already struggled to interact with strangers, but crying strangers? He really had no idea what to do. He averted his eyes downward from Maea, thinking if he were crying before someone he didn't know well he wouldn't want to be watched. Staying quiet, he hoped Jigano would solve the situation. And Jigano being Jigano, he did. He glanced up to catch the other mans eye and gave a weak, unsure smile; clearly uncomfortable but not at all wanting Maea to take his silence as malice or judgement. "Th..there's a lo-lot of people just looking for...for something t-to do." He added to Jigano's suggestion after a moment of hesitation. "Or...if..if you t-tell me what day in advance, I c-could help. I don't have much...experience on a fa-farm, but I'm...str-strong and I would learn. You could...c-could teach me that, like I t-teach you the book things." It would just be another experience to add to his new ones, another thing to be proud of himself for; and his empathetic nature made him want to help Maea any way he could. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

She swallowed hard. Then swallowed again, and again. But the lump in her throat did not go away, and no matter how much she blinked the tears still burned in her eyes. Pale cheeks flashed with the effort to hold back; the heat in her face made Maea feel even worse, knowing how intense the color was in her, how blotchy and uneven the flush would be. No matter hon much she wished it, hers was not a face that could hide emotions. Whether it was joy or sorrow, fear or pleasure, everything was out there for anyone to see.

It made her feel so weak. For attracting their sympathies, for having no choice but to accept the help, for not being able to manage on her own. She was grateful, truly she was, and Sam's comment on teaching him something in return for her lessons did help. It was just... Maea wanted to be stronger than this. Just once, she wished she would not have to ask others to help her. Or be forced to accept it as it was offered.

"Thank you. Both of you. I... whatever help I can get will be most appreciated" she said, voice quiet and still not entirely steady. All this time she had kept her face turned away, but with a deep breath and a quick, almost angry gesture she wiped a few stray tears from the cheeks and turned back to the work at hand.

"Tell me, how much has the guild managed to find out about this place? The barrier, the Spire... There are rumors flying about everywhere, and I saw a notice about an attempt at entering the Spire?"

Maea hoped that changing the topic would break the dark mood the had brought upon them, perhaps give her some time to regain composure. Though they were kind she was not comfortable throwing her innermost thoughts out for them to see... Not yet. Crying before then was pointless, and there was too much work to be done to waste time in pointless things.