Rebuilding What Was Lost

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — Every time this Remi looked at him with his sad eyes and did that awful, bitter laugh, Sam felt his soul move a little further away. It was striking him more and more with every minute how much this wasn't the man he had known. He still felt the love he'd had in his heart, bled with empathy for his plight, but...this wasn't his boyfriend. This wasn't Remi, who had learned how to turn feathers gold just for him. This wasn't Remi, who had chased bats out of his attic as a lion and scared everyone half to death. This wasn't Remi, who had had quite a ferocious sexual appetite but now flinched at the word 'kissing'. The man he had loved was likely gone, replaced with someone he recognised in appearance only; Sam was not sure if his feelings could stretch enough to fit this new Remi too. But despite all of this Sam was still an empathetic soul, so he listened to Remi's plight with slow nods and a pressed-together line in his lips. When he finally did speak it was after a moment of careful consideration, his eyes focused somewhere above the Alchemist's head. "Well...m-maybe you've l..lost that moment. But. You c-could make a n..new one. And..for you it would b-be...still the first. So...perhaps..you haven't actually l-lost it. It just hasn't h..happened yet, for you." He wasn't sure if this was making sense, the idea rooted in the kind of circular thinking he often engaged in to make things more bearable for himself. "It d-doesn't have to be soon, or...or..." Sam's voice dropped to a sad whisper. "Or with m-me." He knew that seeing Remi with someone else would destroy him, would be a blow he could not return from, but Sam couldn't rip the chance away from him. Remi had no reason now to be his, no connection, no history; why wouldn't he go for someone with more charisma, a more handsome face? "...It...w-will happen again. Because you are...w-worthy. Of love, how you..how you want it." — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.