From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
"Really?" Amun shook his head and clicked his tongue again. Grinning down at Maea, he shrugged. "She must be mellowing out in her old age." He barked out a laugh. "Well if you've already got Wessex training you, not sure what you need me for!" Continuing to laugh, he winked.
Snorting, he pointed at the ground just as Zhanshi surfaced. The landshark snapped his jaws at the two of them, then dove underground. "I mean, he doesn't listen to me, so I hardly expect him to listen to you." Ruffling her hair, the potter smiled. "Just try not to let him do too much damage. But yes, I will certainly come to you first if I need help with anything." He held out his pinky, smile deepening as she posed.
And time it waits for no one It heals them when you die
She hooked her pinky finger with his and squeezed with a solemn expression. It was a promise and a deal, and she was absolutely going to hold him to it. Zhanshi was given a doubtful smile; if anyone was in need of a leash here, it might be her. How did one keep a landshark from doing damage, even a miniature one?
As for the training... The girl shuddered slightly. "Are you kidding? Maybe she didn't bite my head off, but Wessex still scares me. I'll be stiff as a dried Magna and stumble all over myself, and won't recall half of what she says until days after. Please. I'm going to need your help to sort everything out, or this will be a complete disaster."
Pushing herself up on her feet, Maea took a few steps down the solitary stair and turned slowly, gazing out into the night. The gloom that had hung over her head for the better part of the night was lifting, but in its wake was left an itch of restlessness that she didn't know what to do with. Knocking into a pebble on the steps with the toe of her shoe, she pushed it around a few times before kicking it over the edge.
"Hey, Amun? Do you ever miss the feeling of pain?" She shot a sideways glance up at him, and tucked the hands into her pockets.
And soon you are forgotten A whisper within a sigh
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Hooking his pinky around hers, Amun bobbed their hands up and down a few times before letting go of Maea. He shifted until he could rest his head against hers. "In my experience, fear tends to sharpen the mind. I think you'll surprise yourself by just how much you'll retain from your training with Wessex." Bumping their elbows, he smiled.
As she got up, he watched her descend the steps. Frowning at her question, he shook his head. "Not really?" Standing up himself, he hopped down to join her. "I don't know about you but the most difficult pain to deal with for me was always emotional, not physical, and there's still plenty of that to go around." He barked out a laugh. However, it was clear it had nothing to do with humor.
And time it waits for no one It heals them when you die
"How reassuring," came her murmured response, dry and faintly amused. She closed her eyes for a moment as their brows connected, but moved away soon enough.
Standing on the edge, she watched Amun as he came over to stand beside her. His reply brought a frown of worry to her brow, but she nodded. Understanding what he meant. "Physical discomfort used to be my distraction from the emotional pain," she explained. "If I was sad, or upset, or even very happy, I used to move. Run until my lungs burned, or work until my bones ached, or train myself black and blue. It sort of... pulled me out of my own head. Returned me to reality, in a way."
Withdrawing a hand, she held it up and turned it over. Examining the puckered skin and wax-like texture that disfigured the fingers, with a distant look. "But that doesn't work, these days. When I get restless, or my head is full of the wrong things, I don't know how to move out of it, anymore. Talking - it helps to an extent." She shot a smile at Amun, trying to reassure. "But not... all the way. And no amount of training or work seem to entirely resolve this feeling of distance I have. To everything. Do... you get that, too?" Was this normal, her expression seemed to ask.
And soon you are forgotten A whisper within a sigh
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
As Maea explained how and why she missed feeling pain, Amun arched an eyebrow. Humming under his breath, he rested his hand in the small of her back. "I'd argue that you could've pushed yourself to your limits without getting to the point of pain and achieved the same or at least similar results," he observed.
Sighing, he shrugged. Moving so she could see his face clearly, he cocked his head to one side. "But what you're describing isn't unique to Ascended, you know. And even as an Ascended, you can get out of your own head." He grinned at her. "We'll just have to find you a new hobby, that's all."
And time it waits for no one It heals them when you die
Shrugging with a shoulder, she wouldn't quite look at him. The hand at her back was tolerated for a moment - then she shifted away from it. "Perhaps. I'm sure it wasn't a good habit... but it worked. For the most part." Until it got her killed.
As he maneuvered around and she was given little choice between looking at him or actually turn away, Maea met his gaze. Held it for a second, then looked down and seemed to take great interest in some stain or color shift on his shirt. "Setting up a guild and learning to fight properly isn't hobby enough?" she asked mildly. "Between that and the party arrangements, and these excursions... when will I ever find the time." She laughed, tried to make it sound like a jest... but the tone fell flat and no mirth actually made it to her eyes.
"But that's how to do it, right? Just keep busy." She was sure that's what he said before.
And soon you are forgotten A whisper within a sigh
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun leaned forward so he could catch Maea's gaze. Regardless of whether he was successful, he'd arch an eyebrow at her. "For the most part, hm?" Brow furrowing, he cocked his head to the side. "What about the times that it didn't?"
Reaching out, he'd put a finger under her chin to try and make her lift her head. "You were the one who brought up trying to distract yourself," he pointed out. Nodding, he smiled. "That's how to do it. But everything you just listed was work. I know that might be your preferred method of getting out of your head or outrunning your thoughts, but you can also do things for fun."
And time it waits for no one It heals them when you die
Swaying her head this way and that uncertainly, Maea tried to recall. "I guess... when nothing would distract enough... I spiraled my way down into enough misery that I finally began to cry. Usually I wound up crying myself to sleep, and then it felt a little better the next morning." Maea shifted her weight, awkward about having to admit that. Neither were things that worked very well, these days.
Allowing her chin to be raised, her mouth twisted in a rueful sort of smile, wan and slightly regretful. "Can I take it back..?" She sighed. Shrugged lightly, as her hand came up to cradle his wrist. "I guess. But what is fun? I don't know anymore. Did I ever do anything, just because it was enjoyable? Looking back, it's like everything had a purpose, nothing was ever..." She broke off, realizing that she just repeated herself.
"What do you do, for fun?" It almost sounded accusatory, though it wasn't how she meant it.
And soon you are forgotten A whisper within a sigh
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
"Mmm." Amun rested his hand on Maea's shoulder. Smiling, he shrugged. "I always found that screaming at the heavens was a great way to relieve some stress when everything else failed. Just tilt your head back and howl." He let out a chuckle.
Releasing her chin he pulled his hand out of her wrist so he could lift his own hand to rub his knuckles against her hair. "Nope. No takebacks. We have a strict no returns policy." Laughing outright, he gave her the last bit of the noogie.
"I make art. Either on my pottery or elsewhere. Or if I'm bored of that for some strange reason, I'll sing or dance, even if it's on my own." Cocking his head to the side, he arched an eyebrow at her. "Does any of that sound appealing to you?"
And time it waits for no one It heals them when you die
Tilting her head back to give the veiled stars a dubious stare, Maea drew in a breath and... felt it catch at the back of her throat. Stifled by some ingrained compulsion to be quiet and keep out of sight, to stay out of mind and unobtrusive, lest someone take notice of her existence. Maybe Safrin would be upset, if she howled at that distant night.
The noogies brought her attention back to her brother. Though it didn't hurt, he was still making a mess of her hair and Maea fended him off as best she could, though it amounted to very little resistance in the end. Art. Music. Dance. Laughter. It all suited him so well. Sunjata had enjoyed boxing, and drinking, and making conversation with strangers - she recalled happy times at the VlamVloed, with him behind the bar and she seated at a table with her nose buried in books, before everything broke. Loren... was more of a talker, as she recalled. Pensive and philosophical, just like herself, when he wasn't drowning in his own darkness. An artist, too, from what little she had seen of the maps he drew.
And she?
"I... liked music," she said slowly, hesitant as if it was a question. "Singing... I helped Jigano compile the songs we had in the Grounds." Her eyes grew distant. Did that count as work? "And... training. I actually enjoyed training. It felt good, to learn new moves and feel myself grow stronger."
It was so very little, compared to Amun's many varied interests.
And soon you are forgotten A whisper within a sigh
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun cupped one hand around his ear. Grinning, he waggled his eyebrow at Maea. "Well go on then. I can't show you everything. Come on, a proper shout now."
Grin sliding into a gentler smile as she brought up the topic of music, he nodded at her. For a moment, he hummed a few notes of one of the songs he'd picked up during his years in Caido. Then he inclined his head to her. "Why don't you sing me a verse of your favorite song growing up?" Settling into a cross-legged position at her feet, he slid his fingers together.
And time it waits for no one It heals them when you die
The fact that he was now watching her and waiting for a shout made it twice as impossible to get it out. Maea glared at him for a second, then shook her head with her mouth pressed into a thin line. Not possible. Not happening.
Singing, though... she chewed on the inside of her lip. Watched him hum a tune that sounded vaguely familiar, and take a seat. Maea thought, considered. Found that only fragments and stray words remained of all the songs she had once known by heart. A faint sigh escaped her, and she reached out to thread her fingers through Amun's hair, heedless of whatever care he might have taken to keep it in place.
A fragment of a lullaby came to mind, and she hummed it. Quiet, barely loud enough to be heard even with their sharp ears. Uncertain, awkward, her voice fractured and out of practice. There were supposed to be words, but they were lost to her; something about Ludo and a lantern, and how to see a loved one again. Eerie, as most lullabies were, yet sweet.
The more she sang, the more she recalled of the song, and as she repeated the verse her confidence grew. Enough to raise the volume some, to try some trills and play with the melody... Then, once nothing more wanted to emerge from the depths of all the things she had forgotten, she quieted again. Sank down to sit beside Amun, and cleared her throat with a faint flush darkening the cheeks.
Strange, how much more vulnerable it felt to do this, than any of the topics they had discussed so far.
And soon you are forgotten A whisper within a sigh
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun didn't relent in the slightest. Continuing to watch Maea, he just smiled. A slight wind sprang up and ruffled his hair, and he pushed it back into place without moving anything but his arm. When she replaced his hand, though, he let her, dropping his arm back into his lap.
Finally she began to sing, albiet quietly, and he grinned. It broadened as she gained more confidence throughout the performacne. When she sank down, he let the last echoes of her voice die away. Then he let out a whoop. Pumping his fist in the air a few times, he applauded before slinging his arm across her shoulders. "Brava." He gave her a little squeeze. "Now how did that feel?"
And time it waits for no one It heals them when you die
His exuberant cheers echoed over the dark fields, and somewhere out in the night Maea thought she heard several blink-hares scurry down into their dens. Startled, no doubt, by the sudden noise, or perhaps as embarrassed as she was. But there was no hole for her to hide in, nowhere to hide the awkward smile or the flushed face. Only his shoulder, really, and so she dove for cover there. Very aware of the strange logic of her own actions.
"Awkward," she grumbled against his shirt, "and uncomfortable. And... a little fun." There was really no point in hiding it. He would just keep nagging until she admitted the truth, anyway. "I forgot all the words... can't believe I forgot it. I used to sing that song all the time."
And soon you are forgotten A whisper within a sigh
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
