From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
As she did not exactly qualify for the role anymore, Maea merely laughed and bumped him back. Her smile fell somewhat as the conversation moved on, but the girl did her best to retain some lightness in her tone.
"You shouldn't have to, either. The matter of Stormbreak was resolved, as far as I heard, so there ought to be no witch hunts on you personally. Of course, that still leaves the risk of someone trying to start the war early." Scowling down at the soggy ground and the black muck that clung to her boots, Maea wasn't sure what to say. She had the least experience of any Ascended when it came to persecution - mostly because she hadn't exposed herself to others since her return.
"I can't imagine it does. But... don't take this the wrong way, please? I completely understand why you did what you did. I just... really feel like we have to be careful not to be the ones who trigger this whole thing, going forward. Since Ascended are the villains in the Old God's narrative, being caught with violence will be too damning. So for now, even if it's rough... just hang in there?
"I wish... I wish I knew what The Voice is hoping for, in terms of outcome. Aside from our right to exist. Do you know?"
Hauling herself over a particularly large pool of black goo, she paused and looked to Amun. Waiting for his response.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Arching an eyebrow, Amun pressed his lips together. Shaking his head at Maea, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Resolved how? The hurt feelings on both sides went away? The followers of the old gods aren't going to find some way to retaliate against us?" Sighing, he frowned. "All I heard was that open hostilities in the Hollowed Ground and Stormbreak aren't going to break out."
Pulling his leg out of a particularly deep puddle, he wiggled his toes in his boots as they filled up with muck. It wasn't unpleasant, but he still grimaced. "I know. Never mind that the old gods and their followers have done far worse than us over the years, if we're anything less than perfect they will hang us with the rope we supposedly gave them." He let out a laugh that had no trace of humor in it.
Shrugging, he hopped over the pool. "Isn't that enough?" Poking the ground beyond, he scratched his chin. "Probably just the chance to continue her experiments."
"I hate to break it to you, but those kinds of hurt feelings are never going to go away," Maea replied soberly. "You attacked a city, and people died. No matter what reasons you had, that's the reality of the matter. I am more surprised that there hasn't been retaliations. That the war didn't start early. Open hostilities should have been the result, and that they are not is probably the closest to 'resolved' as we get."
Sloshing her way up onto a slight elevation where a clutch of gnarled trees had yet to succumb to the noxious fumes, Maea paused to survey the landscape. It was growing uncomfortably hot and her senses were complaining, unwilling to linger too long in this place; but she was more concerned with the conversation than herself at this point, and ignored the quiet alarms for a while longer.
"It should be. But it's not, really. This is about more than just you and me and not wanting to die, or have to watch our backs. It's about the Old Gods accepting The Voice as one of them, and acknowledging that she has a place and a purpose.
"Realistically, we are never going to vanquish all of them, nor should we. So in order to win, what we really need is to convince them that she doesn't need to be destroyed. And since I don't know what she wants... I don't really see how that is going to happen."
Poking her stick around and listening to the hollow thumps of the ground, she eventually leaned against it and stared out into the gloom. Somewhere off in the distance a light flared up and wavered blueish and faint; it winked out as she laid eyes on it, and after a while another swamp-light sprung up, off to the side.
"That's what I believe, at least. Maybe I'm completely wrong. It wouldn't be the first time." Maea turned to gaze at her brother, with a complicated smile tugging at her mouth. "But none of that really helps you feel any better, does it?"
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Rolling his eyes, Amun looked away from Maea. "Yeah, I get it, it was reckless and stupid and innocent people got hurt and I absolutely deserve to be reviled for it." He kicked at the ground and dislodged a ball of mud. It plopped into the tar pit next to them. "But I'm getting a bit sick and tired of people forgetting that we didn't wantonly rain fire down on all of Stormbreak, we specifically targeted the Tower because it was the headquarters of an organization that wanted to eradicate us. If that's not a legitimate target then what is?" His nostrils flared.
Clambering up the tree after her, he clung to the trunk rather than joining her on her branch. Shaking his head, he stared out on the land around them. "She just wants to improve lives. At least, that's where all her research has been focused, on trying to improve upon the limitations of purely organic life. Sometimes she goes too far and I won't say the ends always justify the means, but that's it." He thwacked at the ground as well.
He settled in, and Maea turned until she could view him properly. Resting her chin against the top of the walking stick, she leaned on it and listened as he went off.
"I wasn't there," she reminded him gently, "and I only have broad strokes of what actually happened. If I generalize, who am on your side, of course others will too. Like they always do, with every major event. It's the same as what happened with Ronin and the Temple. They remember that he went crazy and tried to tear it down. How many will ever stop to recall that his child died that day? I bet that's not what you remember first. Or Amalia. Or even me, who helped to rebuild the place in the aftermath."
Pulling on a strand of hair, a piece of twig was picked out and dropped to the ground.
"I'm not saying that your intentions were wrong. To be honest, we've probably been spared a big headache by what happened. It's just that it can't happen again. Not with us as the aggressor. Because as soon as the general opinion is that we are violent, dangerous and unpredictable... that's it. They'll never forget it. Like the Mathair, like the plague, like the LongNight monsters. People's memories aren't fair, and it takes a lot of doing to shift opinions once they've been established."
She pointed at herself, as a prime example of someone with a very long memory. Nursing slights and past transgressions like it was some sacred duty. When he addressed the Voice's goals, her sigh was faint, accompanied by a nod.
"Alright. I'll accept that. It's not a bad thing, in general. Now let's look at it from the Old God's perspective." Playing the devil's advocate here was not fun, but it came easy to her. It was a line of thinking that had been entirely hers until Amun entered her life and began to stir the pot.
"Say you create a masterpiece of a pot. You sculpt it, paint it, burn and glaze, and it's exactly how you think it should be. You know where you want it to sit, and how it should be used. Then a random child comes into your shop. They pick up a spoon and start to carve into your beautiful creation. And when you ask what they're doing, they say 'I just want to make it better. Because what you did isn't to my liking'."
She cocked her head aside, gazing at her brother. "How would you react, to something like that?"
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
When Maea brought up Ronin, Amun found himself gritting his teeth. "Actually I do remember. I always explain it as him going mad with grief over the death of his child and trying to destroy the Temple because of it. Always." His fingers tightened on the tree until he forced them to relax. "So are we making allowances for grief now?" Snorting, he shook his head. "Or are you going to tell me it's different when you lose a child."
Grimacing, he kicked at the tree trunk with one foot. "I am not saying a parent losing a child isn't the worst form of grief. But..." Voice trailing off, he shrugged a shoulder.
"I know all this. I know we've been given a bad rap in people's minds. Remember how hard I tried to convince you otherwise?" Looking up at her, he narrowed his eyes.
Still staring at her as she explained her situation to him, his response was immediate and lacking in hesitation. "I would laugh, bring that child to my potter's wheel, and give them some clay. Teach them how to make pots." He arched an eyebrow at her. "Is that not an option here?"
He had a response for everything, and after a while Maea just threw her hands up. And he accused her of being stubborn!
"Then, I guess I can only conclude that you are a better person than most I've ever met. I would smack a kid over the head for touching my craft without permission. I've been giving allowances for your grief all along, because I know what it's like to be in the thick of it and do things I end up regretting. And yes, I do remember - it's why I'm standing here right now, trying to make you feel better about things that aren't your fault. I'm sorry I'm doing such a piss poor job of it." Frustration had her rake her fingers through the hair, scratching at the scalp even though it did nothing to soothe the itch inside her mind.
"You'll have to ask the Old Gods about the options. They seem to be acting like I would... with no real tolerance for 'improvements' when I already know how I want things to be."
Flexing her jaw, she turned around and stared at the swamp again. At the black tar pit, which described their situation in a perfect metaphorical reflection. Just a stinking hole of bullshit into which they were inexorably drawn, and would soon be drowning in.
Delightful.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Both of Amun's eyebrows shot up his forehead as Maea threw up her hands and started ranting. Cocking his head to the side, his nostrils flared. He let her finish her all her comments before saying anything himself. Instead, he just sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"Maea," he finally spoke in a whisper. "I told you I was feeling grumpy and why. You were the one who pushed it beyond that and started berating me about my, my naivety or unwillingness to cut the other side any slack when they're the aggressors or whatever it is you objected to in my words or opinions." Lowering his hand, he just stared at her. "I am fully aware that the world is unfair and that my actions ultimately made things worse. What more do you want me to do or say here?
Cold like glacier ice gripped her insides and she turned back quickly, shocked as much by his tone as how this conversation had twisted out of her hands. Like some slippery eel, all muscle and no control.
"That's not what I was trying to - I didn't -" she stammered, clutching her hands to the stomach. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Why was it that she only ever made things worse? Letting her mouth run, trying to fix things that didn't need fixing. Fumbling attempts at reasoning out the solution to a problem that no one ever asked her to solve. And now she wound up hurting the one person who still had patience with her endlessly spun circles.
Hands feeling numb, her gaze flitted from Amun to the bleak landscape. Sought some escape, fought the impulse to just disappear - but there was no running from this. She couldn't just leave him here. Even if she did, there was nowhere else to go.
"I didn't mean to berate you," she breathed, terrified that her voice would break - she had no right to cry here, not when she was the one who kept ruining things. "I thought... thought you wanted to talk it out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean - I'm sorry."
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun grimaced as Maea began stammering. Using his metal manipulation upgrade to create spikes to anchor him to the trunk, he reached out for whatever part of her he could reach with his free hand. "Hey. It's okay. We're okay. Take a deep breath with me?" He inhaled through his nostrils and let it out as a sigh through his mouth.
"I appreciate your efforts to try and cheer me up. Truly." He shrugged a shoulder. "And I'm sorry, berating was a harsh word and in retrospect, not fair to you." Inclining his head, he'd snort. "I was just complaining and wasn't necessarily expecting or ready for a conversation on heavy topics, okay?"
It truly came from nowhere, that panic. Blinding, a keen of some high pitched noise in her ears while all her thoughts narrowed into singularity. Images like crackled porcelain and broken windows and doors left open to the elements kept pelting her, whispering that she broke it, she broke it, it was happening all over again and it was her fault. It didn't seem to matter that she hated herself for falling apart, she still couldn't bring the shoulders down or raise her head properly.
"I'm so-" She swayed back from his hand at first, but then it connected with her shoulder, and the stream of apologies cut off. Breathing... it didn't do much. Well, it kept her quiet, so perhaps that was enough. But she did as she was told anyway. Drew in breath. Let it out. If only the influx of oxygen would burn away the leaden guilt in her gut. But it lay there, heavy and unmoving even as Amun reassured her.
Even though he was the one who needed it.
Maea nodded. A short, jerky motion, too quick and far too much like the nervous toss of some wild horse's head. "I... I should have asked first," she mumbled. Couldn't quite meet his eyes, though she tried. She really tried. "I'm sorry. It's what - how I always do. Apply enough logic until it's not personal anymore. But you didn't ask for that."
Presumptuous. Hasty. Inconsiderate. It was a miracle anything stayed intact once she'd come close enough to touch it.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
At Maea pulled away, Amun narrowed his eyes. He wouldn't let her, although he just rested his hand on her shoulder and didn't try to pull her closer. Once they'd breathed together, he cocked his head to one side. "Please stop apologizing."
Sighing, he pressed his lips together. For a moment, he didn't respond, just swept his gaze across the ground around them. 'I understand. And normally I'm fine having these conversations with you. You know that." He let out a huff of laughter. "I just wasn't ready this time, and instead of being upfront about that it just kind of escalated." Shaking his head, he snorted.
Apologies were all she had. But since he asked her to stop, she did and squeezed her mouth shut. The hand on her shoulder was a tether and an anchor, holding her as firmly in place as that leash migh, that they joked so much about. A lifeline, really. Umbilical cordage that fed her a steady flow of reassurance. Gradually the blind panic subsided. In its wake lingered self-doubt and guilt, and a toxic dread that cast doubt over everything she had promised to become. Supportive and open minded and uplifting - what good were they, when she couldn't even get her meaning across?
Her nod came again, unaccompanied by apologies. The winding talk hadn't been for herself today. She had wanted to do for him what he did for her. Be the plank to bounce against, until something relented and the mood changed. But it didn't work. It had become all about herself again, and in the process...
"What would you like me to do?" She made herself look up. Meet his gaze if he sought it. Maybe she didn't say it but the remorse and desperation to make amends was all there to see anyway. "How can I help you, when... when you are down?"
Clearly their languages were not the same, here. And she wanted to help. If she could.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Finally, when Maea stopped apologizing and looked at Amun, he gave her a squeeze. Inclining his head, he flashed her a smile as she met his eyes. Shrugging the shoulder of the arm that wasn't touching her, he snorted. "I don't know that you can help me when I'm down. Sometimes the only thing that helps with that is time."
Sighing, he looked down at the ground again. "Distract me, I guess. Make me practice art, drag me to the archives, whatever. The same things I force you to do when you get too much in your head." His lips twitched into something that wasn't quite a smile, but close kin to it.
Jerking his head back in the direction they'd come from, he arched an eyebrow. "As much as I'd love to continue having this heart to heart, I'm not sure a place where one wrong step plunges you into a tar pit is the best place for it. Besides, Ludo is probably getting ready to do its thing." He started to descend the tree, but wouldn't leave it entirely unless he saw her following.
