NATE
It's strange, how easily they fall back into a routine. How easy it is to wrap his arms around Hotaru's form as soon as it's human again and pretend like he isn't leaning into her more than he needs to. One hand tangles in warm golden hair while the other wraps around her waist, holding her close right up until he feels the weight of emotion trying to shake out of her, the words that eventually manage to leave her as steady as a teacup in an octogenarians frail grasp. "You didn't know." He agrees soothingly, trying to offer comfort in all the little ways he knows.
"I didn't know you hadn't heard." Nate offers by way of apology and explanation both. "I... would have been less casual." It's not really a joke, or even funny, but that's never stopped Nate from laughing at himself before. "If nothing else, I'd think that Remi would have said something. Or anyone." The laughter from before hasn't quite dissipated, the softness enough to keep his next words appropriately joking. "I don;t know if you know, but I'm kind of a big deal." His hands try to linger on her shoulders, her wrists as she pulls away, Nate not quite able to work up the nerve to actually hold onto her hands though.
“Its uh… it’s not great.” Nate warns, knowing full well how the story sounds to share. He knows Hotaru though, and she knows him, she’ll understand how point a leads to point d(ead). “Sam was killed by Gideon, and… Edy found out and cracked a plan to… borrow Sunjata’s dragon and piss on the tower. Fuck it up a lil.” Despite the fact that for Nate, these events feel like a week or so ago, the details have already lost their crispness. Edrei’s face is a blur in his mind, he knows it, but he can’t picture it, and Sam? Gods, Nate can’t even summon the sound of the bookmakers voice. Guilt is a funny thing when you're used to ignoring it.
Bright eyes dart back and forth, Nate picking at the threads of memories again for the relevant ones. "We did, but uh... Ronin showed up. And killed Edy. And... I get it." It's just common sense, right? No matter how cathartic, no matter how much they deserved something, they are still on opposite sides of the war, Edy was still a dragon actively attacking his city. Granted, the Dark Star was on the wrong side, but that was neither here nor there, not right now. Not in the face of the tidal wave of hatred that even now wells in Nate's chest like a festering wound, like the last little bit of ocean still trying to drown him long after he's left the waves. "But I couldn't," his hand moves, an impossible to read gesture fluttering his fingers, "not after everything he's done. Everything he's going to do."
"I didn't know you hadn't heard." Nate offers by way of apology and explanation both. "I... would have been less casual." It's not really a joke, or even funny, but that's never stopped Nate from laughing at himself before. "If nothing else, I'd think that Remi would have said something. Or anyone." The laughter from before hasn't quite dissipated, the softness enough to keep his next words appropriately joking. "I don;t know if you know, but I'm kind of a big deal." His hands try to linger on her shoulders, her wrists as she pulls away, Nate not quite able to work up the nerve to actually hold onto her hands though.
“Its uh… it’s not great.” Nate warns, knowing full well how the story sounds to share. He knows Hotaru though, and she knows him, she’ll understand how point a leads to point d(ead). “Sam was killed by Gideon, and… Edy found out and cracked a plan to… borrow Sunjata’s dragon and piss on the tower. Fuck it up a lil.” Despite the fact that for Nate, these events feel like a week or so ago, the details have already lost their crispness. Edrei’s face is a blur in his mind, he knows it, but he can’t picture it, and Sam? Gods, Nate can’t even summon the sound of the bookmakers voice. Guilt is a funny thing when you're used to ignoring it.
Bright eyes dart back and forth, Nate picking at the threads of memories again for the relevant ones. "We did, but uh... Ronin showed up. And killed Edy. And... I get it." It's just common sense, right? No matter how cathartic, no matter how much they deserved something, they are still on opposite sides of the war, Edy was still a dragon actively attacking his city. Granted, the Dark Star was on the wrong side, but that was neither here nor there, not right now. Not in the face of the tidal wave of hatred that even now wells in Nate's chest like a festering wound, like the last little bit of ocean still trying to drown him long after he's left the waves. "But I couldn't," his hand moves, an impossible to read gesture fluttering his fingers, "not after everything he's done. Everything he's going to do."
but i'm going to be here until i'm nothing
but bones in the ground
but bones in the ground
