wound relentlessly

KIADA i wish that i could say, i am a light that never goes out. “I think so.” But that is not the answer she seeks. She wants a yes or a no, not an uncertainty. If it truly were her mother, how old would she be now? She wouldn’t be that gilded, brandished youth that her father had fallen in love with – the same age she is now. Would she even recognize her? Would her mother recognize her too? There were too many possibilities, and she hopes that she doesn’t have to meet her for awhile now. To gather her bearings and sorrow, wrap it up to try and face what other things this strange world has brought. But then Deimos mentions he could show her to her. And her head tilts as she scratches Auni’s head and looks almost through him for a moment before looking away. She begins to decide on an answer before Deimos adds that she can decide what she wants to do; and she imagines that’s the best option she can get. But not now – later, later when the fresh pain of loss is no longer fresh. Where she doesn’t have to see another reincarnated person only to watch them fall to destruction and loss yet again. She’s already pushed it this far with Deimos in her grasp. And she’s terrified of him leaving her the way Ru’in did not long ago. But she’s even more terrified of the others she’s known in her life that have managed to make their way here. Deimos had always been like a father to her – but he wasn’t her father. Ru’in had always been the love of her life, her mother had always been… Well, her mother, and she wasn’t sure where that would leave her to watch more and more of them disappear to the great darkness, to take their last breaths. Perhaps she’s better off not knowing for now. “I need to think on it. But I would like to see her before any introductions.” She pauses, eyes focusing on Deimos now and disregarding that far away look finally before she stands and extends a hand to him to help him up. “I think we’ve had quite an emotional day… Maybe it’s time to rest some before conquering the world, hmm?” She questions with a small smirk, though the fire that glimmered from her smiles and smirks are nowhere to be found. but i flicker from time to time.