From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Deciding against throwing on the frumpiest sweater that she owns, Tobi forces herself to dress precisely as she normally would. She couldn't really preach normalcy to her boyfriend and son while hiding away under baggy clothing. "No, it's alright. I was only wondering if anything had been brought up yet." Tobi says, flashing Finn an understanding smile over her shoulder. Though having to provide stability to both Ever and Finn could be exhausting, Tobi was a giver at heart, and as such, she found a good deal of comfort in being placed so squarely in this role.
"It's going to be okay. Just be sure to be honest with him, okay?" Pressing a soft and chaste kiss against Finn's cheek, Tobi opens their door with uncharasteric volume to give Ever a heads-up.
A moment or so later their son is seated in the living room with his hands folded politely in his land and his gaze trained towards the floor. Taking a seat on the couch, Tobi clears her throat. "Ever, we want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong, and that all of the things you're feeling right now are completely valid, okay?" She begins, receiving little to no acknowledgement from Ever.
"Not yet, but I imagine we may have expedited the process just now," Finn murmurs, frowning to himself and only letting his shoulders relax as Tobi comes to deliver a kiss to his cheek. Letting out a breath he doesn't realise he's been holding, he nods and runs a hand down his face, before straightening up and moving to follow Tobi out of the room. Before he knows it, their weekly family talk has taken shape, and lo and behold, the very first topic is on everyone's minds.
"It is true," he agrees with the doctor. "We also want you to know that what you saw was an expression of affection between your mother and I, and that it is normal for adults to behave that way with one another. With that being said, we ought to have been more sensitive to the fact that you were also in the apartment." Is it going well? He has no idea.
One of Ever's legs wants to shake with nervous and anxious energy, but the boy determinedly keeps very still. Blinking only when his eyes begin to ache, he nods at the expected intervals as the carpet begins to swim with the unsteadiness of his gaze.
"Ever, do you have any questions so far? Or anything you'd like to ask?" Tobi prompts in as gentle and soothing a voice as she can manage. Ever gives his head a single shake.
"Your father is exactly right. We never want you to feel uncomfortable here, and we can make sure that the chances of it happening ever again are very low." Neither she or Finn are naive enough to promise never, but a low probability is basically saying the same thing in the Hart-Rosencrantz household. "Ever?" Tobi prompts again. This time, politely, the boy does raise his eyes. "I know it might feel awkward, but are you sure there's nothing you want to say?"
Swallowing Ever looks from Tobi to Finn and then back again. "I know it's normal, I just...didn't think you two did that sort of thing." He mumbles uncertainly.
Thank the gods for Tobi being there, because Finn would absolutely have taken Ever's silence as golden, and they'd never have gotten anywhere else with the conversation. Instead, as their son finally lifts his gaze and looks between them, the ex-Spyglass manages a small, if not genuine smile for him.
"Some adults are more comfortable displaying their affection publically," he explains. "Others, like your mother and I, prefer to keep that sort of thing private. But perhaps we have been too good at it, in retrospect. I would never want you to think that we were different from other people, in that way."
They are in a lot of ways, and it's true that their relationship is necessarily nuanced, but Finn likes to think that what he and Tobi have is still love and still affection. He hopes so - he has worked hard to find it.
"And if you have other questions," he ventures, "those are things we would be happy to talk to you about, as well. Whether that's all together like this, or separately. There is no such thing as a silly question." That, at least, he hopes they have taught him well.
"So...everyone is affectionate and has sex?" Ever wonders, wishing he had his notebook. In his mind, he imagines every single household filled with closed doors and sex noises (some accurate, some not). "If it's so natural and everyone does it...why do you two stay so private?" This being their first Family Meeting, Ever doesn't know what's off the table to ask and what isn't, though he does nod gratefully as Finn reiterates that no questions are silly.
"Well...most couples, yes." Tobi answers, trying to skip ahead and piece out what Ever might actually be asking. "So...does that mean you're trying to have a baby? On purpose this time?" It seems to Ever that if sex is how you have a baby, then the only reason to have sex is to make a baby.
"It can be different from couple to couple. But most, yes," Finn agrees with Tobi, wishing they had made tea to go with their Family Meeting, because he swears his mouth is becoming as dry as Hak Etme. As for them staying so private about it, Finn can't help the flush of pink along his cheekbones. How does one say because I used to have sex for money and now I prefer not to feel like I am advertising to their son.
Eventually he settles on, "It is a personal preference, for me. Similar to how it is ordinary for people to go out to have dinner together, but they do not necessarily enjoy eating the same things. Like when you and Mateo go to the hot cocoa stand." He hopes it's an easy enough parallel to draw.
But then babies come into it and Finn shakes his head before he has a chance to look at Tobi - because they're literally never discussed it. "Er... we aren't trying to, no. That is how babies are made, but most couples have sex because it is enjoyable, without wanting it to result in a child. That is also completely normal."
It isn't an easy parallel, not at the start. Preferences are usually derived from certain experiences, and as far as Ever understands it, that means something might have happened to make his parents this way. Hearing it was because of his father's past might have helped, though it might have hurt, as well. "Oh." He hums instead, trying to form mental lines between hot chocolate and kissing and boobs.
'It is?' Looking gobsmacked, Ever looks from Finn to Tobi and then back again, as if waiting for one of them to say just kidding! His lips form a queazy squiggle as he shifts uncomfortably; sex was enjoyable? Sticking your..you know, into their...but...but..
'Oh.' He repeats, feeling both hot and cold.
"It's okay not to understand it right now." Tobi adds. "The way you feel might change with time. When you were younger you didn't like to eat broccoli, and now you do. Some of this might be like that for you, but it also might not. Sex and affection are just some of the ways you can show how you feel about someone, but they aren't the only ways."
It might have helped, but alas they are all only human, and Finn is a poorly functioning one at that. As Ever mulls it over, Finn sneaks a glance at Tobi, as if to ask if they're doing okay, not that she's got a grain of experience in this exact matter at all either. He's promptly drawn back to their son by his exclamation, though, nodding again. "For many, many people, yes. Not all, though, and if it isn't something you end up finding enjoyable, that doesn't make you strange, or different."
Smiling softly, he sits up a bit in his chair and clasps his hands together. "Sex and affection aren't the only ways Mom and I show how we feel about each other either," he adds. "Making time to spend with each other, playing music together, picking up lunch or even asking each other how we are. It all counts. But now you know that we do that other stuff, as well." For better or for worse.
Tobi raises her eyebrows in a gesture that's meant to communicate far too many things for Finn likely to understand. So, instead of relying on the movement of her facial hair, she turns her hand palm-up on her leg for him to take (or not).
"Well, if many, many people is meant to indicate a majority, then being an outlier is the definition of being different, and usually by social standings, strange as well." Ever counters in a low voice.
Looking up towards Finn, Ever considers. "Do the ratios matter?" He wonders, and at this Tobi has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing. "The ratios do matter, but what they are depends on the specific people in the relationship. For example, I like playing ball far more than your father does." She says with a smile.
"Okay well...it's okay if you want to be affectionate and have sex. I just...won't look." Ever says with a nod, as if that's the appropriate conclusion from all of this.
Finn absolutely does take Tobi's hand, squeezing her fingers gently, and he stutters out a breath as Ever makes precisely the sorts of points he would and ties him up in knots somewhat. But at least he is talking to them, he supposes. "And people in other relationships might not enjoy playing ball at all," he adds. "We are all strange and different, in our individual ways. None of that means you are wrong for it, though."
The idea of him not looking has Finn's jaw dropping, and the ex-Spyglass has to take a second before he responds. "That is good to know, but it isn't something we will be doing in front of you. This morning was an accident. Sex is something that happens between consenting adults. We just wanted to make sure that we could answer any questions about what happened."
'But that isn't what you said.' Ever studiously points out. Sex was supposed to be pleasurable, and from now until Ever found out if it was, he would be worried that he was wrong and strange preemptively. Tobi gives Finn's fingers a gentle pulse of reassurance, one that she sends through the attuned bond towards their son as well. This was difficult, but both Finn and Ever were doing fairly well all things considered.
"I understand. Is there a time I could watch? Or...?" Not knowing how to phrase any other situations wherein sexual or affectionate instances might take place, Ever lets the sentence trail away before continuing. "That way I could learn. Or are there other resources?" Again, Tobi has to stop herself from laughing, only this time she looks up at the ceiling instead and closes her eyes.
"There is a lot of misinformation about sex, so you need to be careful." She begins in a voice that threatens to tremble with amusement. Finn is likely horrified, but gods, she just can't help it. "But you are still very young, and because sex can result in pregnancy and can complicate relationships, it isn't something you should be worried about yet. When you're older maybe we can revisit this conversation and talk about different resources?"
It isn't what he said, and Finn is at risk of chasing his own tail in an attempt to track down the intricacies of his explanations, and only Tobi's hand squeezing against his own is enough to anchor him. Of course, then Everest, their baby boy, suggests watching them have sex and yes, Finn is filled with abject horror. It shows on his face and he couldn't change his expression even if he wanted to.
And thank the gods for Tobi, because she rescues the situation in a way that has him leaning against her a bit - and if it weren't for the subject matter of the conversation, he'd likely be showering her in kisses too. "Your mother is correct," he says in a tight voice. "And all this is to say that Mom and I will be careful to make sure we are in private next time, and that you shouldn't be worried about walking around the house."
"If it's normal..why should I be worried?" Ever asks, though his voice has a surprisingly rhetorical quality to it. He can detect some inconsistencies in how both Tobi and Finn are talking about this subject that makes him think it isn't all as tidy and neat as they are leading him to believe. There is more to this, but luckily Ever knows just the person to ask. "I think I understand enough for today. May I go make some tea and cereal now?" He asks politely, scooting forward on the edge of his chair and raising his eyebrows pleadingly. If he can't watch his parents have sex, at least he should be able to have breakfast.
"Of course. Add enough water for all of us, though." Tobi says with a nod, and it's only when she hears the water running in the kitchen that she exhales all the air in her lungs and slumps back against both the couch and Finn.
"I feel like I need a nap after that, how about you?"
Just because, Finn wants to say, and his love for his son as much as his frustration about such a knotty topic has him wanting to rake his fingers back through his hair. "Alright," he says instead, offering a small smile to Ever as he gets up. "I will be going to my old office in the Collegium later, if you would like to come," he adds. "I am interested in a few books in the Archive, as well." Books on criminal proceedings and pawing through his old shelves should calm things down, right?
Letting his arm move around Tobi as she slouches back, needing the contact probably as much as she did, Finn huffs out an exhausted sigh and lets his head rest against hers. "I think I could sleep after that," he agrees; nothing cures insomnia like having the sex talk with your kid, apparently.
