"Good points, all," he conceded with a smile, impressed at the way her mind was working now, chasing down alternative paths and looking at more than one possible answer to the questions at hand. "And from what I have heard, that is indeed why we were brought here. Though... not necessarily by the old gods," he cautioned. Her humility in admitting that she might not have been the best person to speak to Ludo had the bard humming noncommittally, arching a brow at her light voice delivering such shadowed words.
"Aren't you, though? Midwives battle death as much as any healer. You're connected to death and life, both, in that regard. You're as qualified as any - indeed, more qualified than most - to speak to him, I'd think." But perhaps that adversarial relationship had caused a bit of friction? Only... no, from what he'd seen Ludo wasn't a stealer of lives but a guide of souls. Phoebe would take nothing from him that would not eventually be his in the fullness of time, so perhaps it was as simple as a clash of personalities... or the stresses of Long Night on the young woman's mind.
Their steps continued, along with their conversation, and Phoebe's resigned question earned a slightly strained smile from the bard, though perhaps the odd play of shadows and light made it less obvious. "Only if we aren't clever enough to find a third option," he said softly. "And we might not be. But that doesn't mean we should stop trying."
///
The Shrine had been quiet, for better or worse. Perhaps the Voice did not wish to talk to a non-Ascended, or perhaps she was busy with other plans, but either way Jigano was relieved that Phoebe had avoided a curse or retaliation for her hubris. He led the way back, turning their conversation to the past rather than the future, and listening curiously to the midwife's life. "A skill that earns you such an important place would seem to make you a somebody, don't you think?" he encouraged gently. "Where did you learn your trade? Did you go to that medical school Kalt mentioned? Or was it training you inherited from your family?"
Phoebe shook her head at his assertion that she was qualified to hear wisdom from Ludo because of her profession. "Any midwife who claims to battle death thinks too highly of herself. Death is a power beyond our comprehension. It has always and will always exist so long as there is life. My duty firstly is to shepherd life into the world, but by second duty is to graciously allow death to do what it must. Of course, as part of the former, I do all I can to stall preventable death, the sort that comes from our own mistakes. But ultimately, there are instances where it is simply time, and no matter what I do death will take. I will never win against what death wishes to have. So it isn't a battle, but a mutual understanding." she said. It wasn't so straightforward as many tried to make it.
She had been disappointed to not be able to figure out how to deactivate whatever it was that the previous group had done to release the Voice into the world. She felt terribly useless, like a small boat on a vast, roiling ocean. She looked thoroughly disheartened as they headed back out.
At his question she shook her head again. "Northwind had a very rigid caste system and it was almost impossible to change your standing. If I married a man higher up I would have, but I still would have only been half accepted by most because of my common birth. I was actually sponsored to go to finishing school so I could learn how to behave amongst the elite and even then I was treated like a pariah." she explained. "Oh no, I could never have afforded to go to the medical school, and I lived rather far from it. I started apprenticing to an older midwife when I was seven, and was fully fledged by the age of thirteen. I'm a really dedicated student and loved school so I learned faster than most."
He hid his smile as she waxed eloquent about her profession, proving his very point for him. A mediator with death? One who had a mutual understanding with it? Who better to talk to Ludo, really? "Ah, well, I know a bit of medicine but nothing of midwifery," he freely admitted. "So I will bow to your expertise in your trade and take you at your word."
He could tell that she was disappointed by her visit to the shrine, the very uneventfulness of it that caused him to be relieved caused her to be disheartened, and he tried to urge her mind to other things. Without knowing her well, however, he tried to turn first to her past to get a better feel for what events had shaped her. He thought he remembered Remi speaking of the caste systems. Hearing of how she had been shunned for the status of her birth brought a frown to his lips, especially when she revealed how young her training had started. "Most apprenticeships on my world didn't start until a child was at least ten," he said slowly. "And those for medicine or healing were usually eight or ten years before a man without magic would be trusted as a healer. For you to start so young and advance so swiftly... truly, you were a prodigy," he praised solemnly, impressed in spite of their initial rocky start. "Now that you are here, have you considered taking an apprentice of your own?" In case something happened to her such as what had happened to Isla. Losing that level of knowledge and skill had already proven nearly devastating to the infirmary, if Vervain hadn't been around on Long Night to bring several of the injured back from the brink of death.
"Well I had to start young so my parents could afford to keep me in school. Pa was a mason and ma used her horse shift to pull up carts from the quarry. And I was the youngest of four." she said with a small smile as she thought about her family. "But my brother and sisters weren't ever very good at school so they left as soon as they knew their letters. But ma and pa saw how much I liked it and so everyone pitched in to make sure I could stay in it longer. The books were always really expensive...and then when I got sponsored to finishing school it got much more difficult because the tuition was paid but there were lots of other things it required." Fancy dresses and shoes, the books, the accessories, the various supplies for the classes...the whole family had had to pitch in to make it work.
Being called a prodigy though took her off guard and she blushed a little. "Oh, I am not certain I was a prodigy...just driven. I didn't want to let my family down because they were sacrificing so much for me." she said. This was also the second time someone had mentioned her taking an apprentice. "Miss Vai asked me that same thing. I am not opposed to taking an apprentice but as far as I know no one is interested." she said with a small shrug. She didn't want to take an apprentice that was unwilling after all. Then they would just become a subpar midwife, which was dangerous.
Jigano was bemused at hearing how nonchalantly Phoebe spoke of her mother's animal shift. It was still a bit strange to think how normal it was in Northwind, even though Remi had already spoken of it like it was common. Hearing it confirmed still made him want to shake his head, having trouble imagining any druids of his world shifting into a horse to pull carts, especially from a quarry. "It sounds as though your family loves you very much," Jigano said softly, smiling back at the young woman. "And are very proud of you." With good reason, given how quickly she had absorbed knowledge and skills that an adult would have struggled to master at that pace.
"Miss Vai is worth listening to," the bard agreed with a fond chuckle for his former boss. "And... what happened to Isla... has left us all a bit worried about losing anyone else's knowledge and training," he admitted aloud what he had been thinking before. "But perhaps you could put up a notice in the infirmary? Those with an interest in medicine will hopefully find their way there, or perhaps a patient will see it and think of someone they know who might be interested? It would be a way to start getting the word out, at least, in a quiet way. Perhaps one of the young naturals will find their way to you, if they know that you are open to it." He smiled encouragingly, picking their path back towards the surface unerringly now that he had so recently traversed the route down.
She smiled a little as he mentioned her family, but it was a melancholy smile. "Yes. They did...and I think they were proud." she said quietly, speaking of them in the past tense. Of course, Phoebe had no way of knowing if they were to be discussed in the past tense, they could be alive and well. But she would never see them again, so they may as well have been. It really wasn't that different, it just lacked the weight of finality death carried.
"Miss Vai does seem very knowledgeable and strong. I was a bit intimidated when she became my client." she said with a light laugh. "Losing Isla was a blow but...I suppose it is good her skill is kept in some sense...and I know Miss Vai is looking over the infirmary now. I suppose it wouldnt hurt to post a notice." she said with a little smile. That wouldn't be a bad idea she thought. And if no one came to her...well that'd be fine too.
He might have lost his family and chosen to leave his friends behind long before he had fallen through the portal to Caido, but he could understand the difficulty in knowing how to speak of those who had been left behind on other worlds. He nodded gravely to her use of the past tense, respecting her choice to find what closure she could on the loss.
He chuckled at the thought of Vai being a client, and nodded ruefully. Being her employee had been hard enough, living up to her example! And though talk of Isla always brought a flicker of sadness to his eyes, he was glad that she had been so well-regarded.
Gratified that Phoebe was taking his suggestion to heart he offered a smile as they wended their way back towards the light of day. "No harm done, but possibly some good to come of it! I'll add a note to the Loreseeker's Hall as well, that anyone interested in learning midwifery should come to you." He never knew who would show up with a question and between Outlanders unfamiliar with the town and Naturals not knowing what skills Outlanders brought it was common for people to not know what specialties were available in the Settlement, or where to find them.
The turn of conversation made for a pleasant end to the thankfully quiet delve into the Underground, and when they reached the surface Jigano bid Phoebe a courteous farewell before returning to the Atheneum and the work awaiting him there.
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