Trying Again [SE]

Amanda held up the...former knife, now turned Sacred Dildo.

She stared at it.

She gave it a little shake. The dildo jiggled in her hand.

She turned it this way and that, examining the detailed veins and smooth flesh.

It felt warm in her hand. No longer the sharp, cold steel she'd once known. She'd had that knife for years. Traded for it when she first started out as a scavenger. Used it during her sea dives down into wrecked ships, or to defend herself from ruffians in the streets.

And now...now it was a dildo.

Amanda shrugged, tucking the dlido into the sheath on her belt, which had widened in order to fit the dildo inside.

She turned to the other girl, stuck her tongue out, and said, "Told you so."

Phoebe

Phoebe was laughing so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes. Seeing that bit of trickery really had some pent up stress and angst coming out. Even the woman's childish gesture and remark couldn't stop her giggles. And that she had placed it back in the knife sheath only made it that much more funny to the midwife. Why? Who knew! It just did!

"You didn't tell me anything." she said between spurts of laughter. "You just made a fool of yourself and a dildo of your knife!" she said, cackling anew. "Ask and you shall receive, just not always what you want."

i'll let you into my soul
but wipe your feet at the door

"Who's the fool, really?" Amanda said with a smug smirk. "Did your peaches get you anything?" She looked around, not seeing any signs that the sex god had replied to the offering of peaches. "Nope. Doesn't look like it."

She patted the sheathed dildo. "But sharpening my knife on the shrine did give it sacred power. Maybe not the kind I was expecting, but hey, when I go home and try this out, I'm pretty sure it'll give me some of those infinite orgasms I was told about. Or hell, I'll settle for one orgasm for starters; it's sure to be a good one when it comes from a sacred dildo."

She put her hands on her hips, standing up straighter and giving the girl a smug grin. "I literally got a sacred relic from your god! Laugh all you want, but it's clear Frey likes me better than they like you. Hey, maybe if you get down with some desecration here, they'll give you a magic throbbing pleasure toy too."

Phoebe

"I wasn't asking for defense. I was thanking them for that which they already provided: a sanctuary for bystanders of the war." Phoebe said, her laughter beginning to subside with an ache in her belly.

"Asking for Frey to bless your knife got it turned into a fancy dildo and nothing more." Phoebe said with a handwave, blowing off her comment about Frey liking her more. Phoebe knew better than that. But at her final comment she smirked. "Already have one, except it isn't just a dildo, it is literally Frey's penis given to me from their body. They have also given me a plant that grows functioning bodyparts when watered with blood and a pink dragon that breathes rainbow flames thanks to years of offerings, friendship, and nurturing." she quipped. "When Frey actually deigns to grace you with their presence, let me know just who they like more."

i'll let you into my soul
but wipe your feet at the door

Amanda arched an eyebrow. "You got a what from the who now? You actually get fucked by the sex god? Dang. Is it...I mean, how good does Frey's actual dick feel? Got to be damn good, right?"

She scratched her head, finally starting to think straight again after the surprise of the magic dildo. "So, like, if you actually meet this god in person and get dildos and...a penis bush? That grows new penises? Dude, the sex god is weird." She shook her head, chuckling.

"But then why do you need to come here and leave peaches on the ground for them? Like, if you've met them in person, can't you just go see them and give them the peaches yourself? I mean, if I were a sex god who could make magic penises, I don't think I'd be happy with regular old peaches someone left on the ground for me. But hey, what do I know about how gods work. They all hate me and my kind anyway."

It occurred to her for the first time that the dildo might have been meant as something of a joke from the sex god. But it was still really cool, and she wasn't about to complain about finally getting something, anything of worth from one of the gods.

Phoebe

Phoebe ran her hand down her face then back up and through her hair. She really didn't know the first thing about the gods did she? "I can guarentee it does a better job than what yours will." she said, crossing her arms. "And my plant can grow any body part. Hearts. Lungs. Arms. Ears. Not just penises." she clarified since that apparently hadn't been clear the first time around.

"Frey is busy and collects their offerings on their whim, which is why the flowers were still there. Frey likes peaches and other fruits which is why I save them for offerings, which I bring to show my continued deference and appreciation for them. Only when I specifically ask does Frey appear and I only do that when there is a specific request because again, they are busy." Phoebe explained, feeling some of her anger begin to dissipate.

i'll let you into my soul
but wipe your feet at the door

Amanda blinked a few times, taking in the explanation. "Huh."

She thought for awhile about the uses for a plant that could grow body parts whenever you wanted. Might be a market for that...though it sounded a bit gruesome, to be honest. She wasn't sure what she would even do with an extra ear or lung.

"So..." Amanda scratched her head, her face scrunched up. "Frey just...comes along with a basket and picks this stuff up? For real? When people said they made offerings to the gods, I always thought it was more...metaphorical, or something. Like you leave it here as a symbol of your faith or whatever."

She looked around, half expecting Frey to show up to gather the peaches any moment now.

"Can you ask them to stop by?" She looked at the girl, arching an eyebrow. "I mean, if they're not busy. So I can, err, thank them for the dildo."

She wasn't sure why she even considered meeting a god face to face. She supposed it was just because she had never considered it an actual option. She didn't care for the gods, magic dildos or no magic dildos. But how often did an abandoned from the streets of Torchline get the chance to meet a real life god face to face. It would be an opportunity too rare to pass up.

Not that it would be a meeting that could possibly go well. The gods disgusted her. But she wouldn't mind the chance to tell Frey that straight to their face.

Phoebe

"I don't know if Frey uses a basket but the gods do collect their offerings, or spirits working for them do. That doesn't make them any less a symbol of our faith though." she said. "My nephews used to have a puzzle box they would leave out for Ludo with a toy or treat inside. Ludo would collect it and return the box the next day empty." she said to prove she knew what she was talking about.

But at the request, Phoebe shook her head. "Calling down a god just to say thank you isn't a good use of their time. I doubt they would even come. But you can leave an offering and give a prayer of thanks. Frey will get the message." she said.

i'll let you into my soul
but wipe your feet at the door

Amanda snorted and rolled her eyes. "Coming down so I can say thank you isn't 'a good use of their time,' but they can take the time to magically change my knife into a dildo. Sure. Right. I think you have too high an opinion of your gods."

Amanda waved dismissively at the altar. "Whatever. The gods aren't worth anything to anyone. They've just got fancier magic than the rest of us. My magic might not be able to turn tools into sex toys, but one day, I'll be as strong as the gods. Stronger, even. Just wait and see."

She turned her back on the altar, ready to leave. She glanced over her shoulder at the stranger, whose name she had never asked for. "You can leave all the offerings you want. Pray all you want. Maybe Frey will give you all you want because you're a good little girl and suck their cock, but they obviously don't care about people like me. I'll take the magic dildo, though. First time a god ever did something for me, and you treat it like a joke, laughing at me. And you wonder why us Abandoned hate the gods."

She started walking away, then stopped, turning back to the stranger. "Next time you talk to your god," she said, "tell them I said to go fuck themselves. With a magic dildo."

With that she headed off across the rainbow road, taking her new toy back home to see if it really did anything magical.

{fin}