DEIMOS
The regret immediately sunk into the points of his ribs and the columns of his chest. Were it anyone else, save for fellow Halo citizens, he wouldn’t have even mustered the notions. The sentiments could’ve remained locked away and corded off; another furtive semblance contorted in the Sword’s existence, amongst the infinite number already stored. His mouth parted for an instance, on a breath or air of explanation, but was lost in her horrified expression, until his eyes eventually pointed downward, along swamp and bog. There’d be no salvation of deliverance there either, and somehow the words made him feel worse – carving a niche down the breadth of his spine and leaving it there, open and lacerated. “Strength and power, probably.” A dominion over elements, a relic in his hands, all of those probably amounted to something, even if he had refused the call of demigod prowess and prestige.
The guilt and shame was already there, even if Evie tried to hold everything else back – for not being in Halo when war called, for not being able to protect everything he cared about, for being heralded off where his demise may not mean anything either. His jaw clenched, muscles feathering and working through a thousand leagues of pent-up emotion. It might’ve been easier in Talyson’s utter indifference, Ru’s acceptance, or Sah’s bravado. Standing there, speaking about the inevitable, made him want to curl and coil back into reticence and nothingness.
Or reassure, when he wasn’t certain what he uttered would even be the truth. “You know I would rather be in Halo. So I will just keep preparing all of you, and, - “ he cut himself off, swallowed down whatever yearned to crawl and flicker him apart, shrugging his shoulders to release the broad tension and weight shifting down upon them again. “It will be all right. I just wanted to make sure you knew.” And if he said it enough times, maybe those words would hold true.
The guilt and shame was already there, even if Evie tried to hold everything else back – for not being in Halo when war called, for not being able to protect everything he cared about, for being heralded off where his demise may not mean anything either. His jaw clenched, muscles feathering and working through a thousand leagues of pent-up emotion. It might’ve been easier in Talyson’s utter indifference, Ru’s acceptance, or Sah’s bravado. Standing there, speaking about the inevitable, made him want to curl and coil back into reticence and nothingness.
Or reassure, when he wasn’t certain what he uttered would even be the truth. “You know I would rather be in Halo. So I will just keep preparing all of you, and, - “ he cut himself off, swallowed down whatever yearned to crawl and flicker him apart, shrugging his shoulders to release the broad tension and weight shifting down upon them again. “It will be all right. I just wanted to make sure you knew.” And if he said it enough times, maybe those words would hold true.
i'm in the mood to dissolve in the sky
