He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

Phoebe looked down at the ground, trying to reconcile what he said with how she felt. "One of the things I admired about you is how you didn't act like people like me were any different than you...you just accepted that we lived here now too...it just seems now like that was all a lie." she said quietly. How could it be anything but? He had changed his tune so quickly, so unexpectedly, it was shocking to her. The only explanation she could come to was that this was how he had felt the whole time.

He seemed surprised by her assertion. Had he really missed the point of her breakdown, of what it was she had been missing from him? "Yes, you said you appreciated what I did for you and your siblings, not that you appreciated me...and whenever you did hold my hand or kiss me it was...hollow. Empty. You didn't mean it, you just did it absentmindedly." There hadn't been any emotion behind those actions, they had just been knee-jerk reactions to situations. "And I understand why, I understand how hard it is to be invested when you feel miserable, but that's what you do when you care about someone - you try even when it's hard. That's why you didn't have to ask me to help you. I wanted...I want to help you." she said.

She swallowed and looked away as he spoke, tears threatening to spill over. "I know it has, Emmett...and I have tried to make it easier but you don't let me in. Instead you go off and shout angry, hateful things and bottle up your emotions and keep me at arms reach." Phoebe stopped, closing her eyes to try and settle her thoughts. A few tears leaked out the corners of her eyes as she did so. "But that is what you want then? You don't want me at all? I'm not...You don't...I am not worth fighting for? Or keeping around? Or...I'm not enough anymore?"