a candle's fire

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — At first, Rexanna couldn’t remember what had happened when Phoebe spoke in alarm. Her eyes shifted to her friend to see where Phoebe was looking, and for a moment her hand raised to her neck and felt the tender bruising along the side before she shook her head and looked back over the side of the bridge. “No, no. Nobody attacked me. I was bit by… An Ascended. But I had asked him to.” She offered in a way of explanation, uncertain if she knew Bastien was still alive and despite it all, refusing to bring him up when they both were in the worst of moods. But Phoebe continued to speak of Emmett, of how she loved him, and a small frown crossed over Rexanna’s face, a hand reaching up to brush through her dark hair. And it seemed, after Rexanna had spoken of others out there, that Phoebe didn’t seem to take it the right way, the reasonable way. She looked to Phoebe then, letting her express her anger at her – despite Rexanna’s own lips forming a tight line. “More and more people keep falling in all the time. And it takes time, Phoebe. Nobody figures it out right away. I’ve loved many in my life, but none of them have been right so far.” She paused, nodding to her apology nevertheless. “I loved a boy when I was a servant, he and I had spoke of growing old together, of saving enough money we found discarded in the royals rooms and being able to leave our homes together. I loved my husband at first, when I was told I was to become a queen of all things and thought perhaps it would work.” She paused, her eyes shifting over Phoebe once again before looking back over the bridge. “Love hurts and wounds, but when you get it right, when things are right it’s worth it. But gods it takes time, the only ones that figure it out right away are blessed.” She said, turning to Phoebe briefly. “I think I’ve fallen in love twice since being here, the first man I was afraid to get close to because of everything. And I haven’t seen him since. And now… Now it’s so fresh and new that I can’t – I’m afraid to say the words out loud. Afraid for it to be gone after it’s come so soon.” She almost muttered, realizing how terrifying the word sounded leaving her lips. Uncertain if she’d rather hide away than utter the phrase. “But you have to wait and see where it goes. You can be angry and upset, but if he’s being such a shitty person to you about this entire thing, who’s to say when it’s over he doesn’t find something else to be upset about? If the barrier falls, who’s to say there aren’t other people out there?” She questioned Phoebe, leaning along the edge of the bridge on her elbow. and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.