'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over
so maybe we should start all over
The fact he cannot see Frey at all only makes it more obvious to her the differences in where they stand. She may see mostly Nate in Frey's eyes, but he cannot bear it at all. So it's true that she still loves Nate. She always will. But, to her, the fact Frey's image is so amorphous beyond their eyes has always made Ru wonder if perhaps she cannot love anymore. If attraction has become something purely aesthetic, and her heart cannot feel enough for anyone anymore for even Frey's magic to detect and mirror.
Does that mean she has healed more than Sunjata? Or has she simply killed a part of her more efficiently, and carried on learning how to live without it?
Despite how many times she has dreamed it up in her head or awoken from slumber with those words in his voice ringing in her ears, she doesn't expect it to hurt to hear it in truth. It is a chaotic blend of emotion that burns up her throat and into her eyes, making them glassy and pink against her will. "I never stopped loving you. Either of you. I don't think I can." Standing adrift in the middle of the room, Hotaru tries to find something steady in her heart to stand upon and is left bereft. There is nothing to plant her feet on to buoy her out of these dark waters. "I can understand forgiving the rest because it doesn't seem to matter anymore compared to everything we've lost. Gods know it's all in the past for me."
Inhaling slowly, she tries not to give into the crying thing in her chest that has never wanted anything more than this - his forgiveness, his love. Their love, though that cannot exist anymore with Nate gone. "But I'm not the one who shut the last door. I was always here. So why now?" Because you're lonely? Because I'm convenient? You may love me, but if you never stopped, then why now? She genuinely wonders, because they've seen each other twice in two years. They've both changed so much. Here and now, Ru cannot see their reunion being anything more than drowning men clinging to life rings.
Does that mean she has healed more than Sunjata? Or has she simply killed a part of her more efficiently, and carried on learning how to live without it?
Despite how many times she has dreamed it up in her head or awoken from slumber with those words in his voice ringing in her ears, she doesn't expect it to hurt to hear it in truth. It is a chaotic blend of emotion that burns up her throat and into her eyes, making them glassy and pink against her will. "I never stopped loving you. Either of you. I don't think I can." Standing adrift in the middle of the room, Hotaru tries to find something steady in her heart to stand upon and is left bereft. There is nothing to plant her feet on to buoy her out of these dark waters. "I can understand forgiving the rest because it doesn't seem to matter anymore compared to everything we've lost. Gods know it's all in the past for me."
Inhaling slowly, she tries not to give into the crying thing in her chest that has never wanted anything more than this - his forgiveness, his love. Their love, though that cannot exist anymore with Nate gone. "But I'm not the one who shut the last door. I was always here. So why now?" Because you're lonely? Because I'm convenient? You may love me, but if you never stopped, then why now? She genuinely wonders, because they've seen each other twice in two years. They've both changed so much. Here and now, Ru cannot see their reunion being anything more than drowning men clinging to life rings.
start all over again
Hotaru
