'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over
so maybe we should start all over
It's not what she had expected to hear, which is a good thing. On the outside people may call her cruel for pushing, insisting, utilizing her words in a way that make this harder and more painful. Those people could fuck themselves. With how much history stands between them, saying words like I love you hold more than just weight, they hold change.
So this time, it's his turn to talk. To be on the back foot. And she will sit here on her knees with her thumb gently brushing his cheek, supportive but silent. No empty promises or rushed decisions here. Their edges are too raw to risk shattering them against hastily built foundations.
When he is finished she maneuvers to sit beside him, and lays her hand palm up on his thigh for him to take if he needs. Now that she knows what he wants and where he's coming from, her defenses can lower. "I can work with that," she murmurs, and tries for a smile. Something hopeful if also a little scared. Aware that she will need to keep herself in check if she is to hold his hand through this, if they are going to bury the hatchet once and for all.
"If you want to heal, if you want to mend things, and you think this will help? That I can help, in some small way? Then okay. You have me - I'm on board." Because Hotaru cannot stop on her own journey lest she stop forever, but if he needs her? Hell, merely wants her here to help him keep putting one foot in front of the other? Then that's all she needs to know.
"Because I care too. And I love you. And neither of us needs to be alone anymore." They can take it one day at a time. Letters, seeing each other more than once per year, her pending visit to the brothel once the hotsprings are complete. Baby steps - because they aren't really capable of much more. Tilting her head to rest her cheek on his shoulder, Ru marvels at how the hurt has abated inside. He wasn't asking for something she couldn't give, at least not yet, and it would be disingenuous to assume that might change (although, realistically, it very well could). "At least Kings End is closer than Torchline," she murmurs against his shirt, hiccuping a small laugh in the vain hopes of making him do the same.
So this time, it's his turn to talk. To be on the back foot. And she will sit here on her knees with her thumb gently brushing his cheek, supportive but silent. No empty promises or rushed decisions here. Their edges are too raw to risk shattering them against hastily built foundations.
When he is finished she maneuvers to sit beside him, and lays her hand palm up on his thigh for him to take if he needs. Now that she knows what he wants and where he's coming from, her defenses can lower. "I can work with that," she murmurs, and tries for a smile. Something hopeful if also a little scared. Aware that she will need to keep herself in check if she is to hold his hand through this, if they are going to bury the hatchet once and for all.
"If you want to heal, if you want to mend things, and you think this will help? That I can help, in some small way? Then okay. You have me - I'm on board." Because Hotaru cannot stop on her own journey lest she stop forever, but if he needs her? Hell, merely wants her here to help him keep putting one foot in front of the other? Then that's all she needs to know.
"Because I care too. And I love you. And neither of us needs to be alone anymore." They can take it one day at a time. Letters, seeing each other more than once per year, her pending visit to the brothel once the hotsprings are complete. Baby steps - because they aren't really capable of much more. Tilting her head to rest her cheek on his shoulder, Ru marvels at how the hurt has abated inside. He wasn't asking for something she couldn't give, at least not yet, and it would be disingenuous to assume that might change (although, realistically, it very well could). "At least Kings End is closer than Torchline," she murmurs against his shirt, hiccuping a small laugh in the vain hopes of making him do the same.
start all over again
Hotaru
