Phoebe sighed a little as he tried to brush aside Roana’s piece in this. Sure, she wasn’t directly involved nor responsible for Roana in any way, but it didn’t mean it didn’t bother her. ”Maybe not, but it bothers me how many assumptions are flying around about her and me and Outlanders and Naturals…Everyone is just acting like children looking for someone else to blame in one way or another. In the end, it doesn’t matter, we are all going to suffer for their egos, Outlander and Natural alike.” she said with a slight huff, cheeks puffing out in irritation.
”Me too. They were good people.” she said quietly as he conveyed his sympathies for the Palmers, letting Isuma nibbled on her finger. The midwife managed a little smile, wiping at her cheeks with her shoulders as the cub (or was kitten a better word?) leaned up on her chest again. She leaned forward and kissey’d on her fluffy forehead again. Her attempts to soothe her were well received. Phoebe stared at the kitten as she considered her answer as Jigano clearly wanted her to. ”That depends. Nothing…if you were talking about before…maybe that he have more confidence in himself but that would have been for his sake not mine…and after everything…I just…wanted some sign that he still cared about me…but that was selfish.” she said quietly, swallowing back more tears before looking over at Jigano with wide sad eyes.
”Why should I not be expected to change when clearly I was the problem? And then…made more the problem when Rory started this anti-Outlander rhetoric? He’s a Natural, he’s lost everything, and I was unable to change what I am or be less…wanting of…any tiny heartfelt affection…I was too selfish, too…too much, I guess.” she said, looking away again. Never mind that she, like all Outlanders, had basically lost everything too. Never mind that she had suffered during Long Night too. Never mind that she was a person with wants and needs – it was her fault.
”Me too. They were good people.” she said quietly as he conveyed his sympathies for the Palmers, letting Isuma nibbled on her finger. The midwife managed a little smile, wiping at her cheeks with her shoulders as the cub (or was kitten a better word?) leaned up on her chest again. She leaned forward and kissey’d on her fluffy forehead again. Her attempts to soothe her were well received. Phoebe stared at the kitten as she considered her answer as Jigano clearly wanted her to. ”That depends. Nothing…if you were talking about before…maybe that he have more confidence in himself but that would have been for his sake not mine…and after everything…I just…wanted some sign that he still cared about me…but that was selfish.” she said quietly, swallowing back more tears before looking over at Jigano with wide sad eyes.
”Why should I not be expected to change when clearly I was the problem? And then…made more the problem when Rory started this anti-Outlander rhetoric? He’s a Natural, he’s lost everything, and I was unable to change what I am or be less…wanting of…any tiny heartfelt affection…I was too selfish, too…too much, I guess.” she said, looking away again. Never mind that she, like all Outlanders, had basically lost everything too. Never mind that she had suffered during Long Night too. Never mind that she was a person with wants and needs – it was her fault.
