He paused in his cleaning to nod at her condolences. He was no empath, gifted with the ability to eavesdrop on the hearts of others. He didn't know how his attempt to give her space had hurt her, or he would never have made the mistakes that continued to make things worse. But her attempt at shifting the blame earned a snort, the old bitterness welling up in his chest as she forced him to spell it out more clearly, that first and hardest memory of failure that had consequences beyond himself.
Mine, and no other, he corrected grimly, unable to hide the twist of guilt and vicious blame in the open tones of mindspeech as he would have done had they spoken aloud. The myrmidon's master made certain we knew why it was there. We had gone into the lair of his rival and obtained something he wanted very badly. He threatened our home and loved ones, demanding we bring it to him, or he would destroy everything we held dear. He provided a... demonstration, of his power, and his seriousness.
The fox laid his head down, ears flat as he stared out across the shrine and the glade, blue eyes hard. The joke was on him, as it turned out. My friends were not ones for much sentiment, and had no real ties to the town. I was the point of leverage... and my parents had taken shelter in the building he 'demonstrated' on. Something we discovered after he had left. So, his threats no longer mattered after that. But if I hadn't gone into the Choking Tower, if I hadn't gone to Scrapwall, if I hadn't followed the light out to the starfallen ship that night... If and if and if, Amalia, he said wearily, blinking back to the present and turning to look at his feline friend. Every choice I made led to that moment, and I had so many chances to step away. But I did not, and they died for my stubbornness and my pride and my curiosity. It was not my hand that wielded the weapon, no, but it was my actions that brought the weapon to Torch, and my decisions that catalyzed it being used.
Mine, and no other, he corrected grimly, unable to hide the twist of guilt and vicious blame in the open tones of mindspeech as he would have done had they spoken aloud. The myrmidon's master made certain we knew why it was there. We had gone into the lair of his rival and obtained something he wanted very badly. He threatened our home and loved ones, demanding we bring it to him, or he would destroy everything we held dear. He provided a... demonstration, of his power, and his seriousness.
The fox laid his head down, ears flat as he stared out across the shrine and the glade, blue eyes hard. The joke was on him, as it turned out. My friends were not ones for much sentiment, and had no real ties to the town. I was the point of leverage... and my parents had taken shelter in the building he 'demonstrated' on. Something we discovered after he had left. So, his threats no longer mattered after that. But if I hadn't gone into the Choking Tower, if I hadn't gone to Scrapwall, if I hadn't followed the light out to the starfallen ship that night... If and if and if, Amalia, he said wearily, blinking back to the present and turning to look at his feline friend. Every choice I made led to that moment, and I had so many chances to step away. But I did not, and they died for my stubbornness and my pride and my curiosity. It was not my hand that wielded the weapon, no, but it was my actions that brought the weapon to Torch, and my decisions that catalyzed it being used.
