memories of a bygone age

// maybe we're endless, maybe we're infinite //

The woman at his side is aware – perhaps more than the man that wears the mask himself, how many masks the Flood has. It’s become a somewhat subconscious thing – a means to try and protect himself from the harsher truths the world had to offer, one that he’d built and cultivated over decades now to try and keep from letting too much breach the surface, to keep from letting loose too many things his father or those around him could use against him.

He still never quite mastered it, but he’d at least tried.

So he offers his deflection, a deep rumble that trails off as he draws silent again, steel gaze focused with an avian attention on the woman with the cards before him. And he’s silent for a few seconds more even after she offers her advice, a soft sigh slipping from him as he glances over to Hotaru with a soft twinge of a smile. “So I’ve heard.” And yet, he still wakes every day, ready to atone for the sins the past him had made. Because while he does think he’s changed, it’s hard to believe that the rest of Caido would agree. And even those like Deimos, people out there who wouldn't give him another chance even if faced with the opportunity.

SUNJATA

Hotaru

Outside the traffic lights
They turn from green to red

If she didn't think her presence would be of some benefit, Hotaru would have been happy to allow this moment to happen privately, but as she sits beside Sunjata and provides as much support as she can with his walls so high she hopes she wasn't wrong. It's no offense to her that his side of the bond is impenetrably silent - vulnerability has always been difficult for Sunjata, and Alys has a way of looking past all the smoke and mirrors to the heart of you. Hotaru had been forced to learn to open up before she ever met the Seer, and even she had found it quite difficult to contend with the naked understanding present in her friend's eyes the day she'd had her cards read.

It's a blessing and a curse that Alys is able to translate that comprehension into words that flay you open, and with each new card Sunjata says less and less. Yet all she does is hold his hand tight until the moment he finally looks to her, and the faintness of his smile is met with all the love she can possibly pour into one expression. "Don't diminish your efforts," she chides softly, for he has already come so far since the war - since even further beyond. Even if nobody else can see the change he has worked so hard to uphold, Hotaru can. She has seen Sunjata plain since the moment she met him, and long has she wondered if it was because it was not unlike looking into a mirror. Each step is all the more weighted with what you've gone through. You can't expect speed at the same time. Even if he does not hear it, the sentiment remains the same, one that is just a touch too private to be said aloud where Alys can hear. She knows how hard it must be to trust Alys on the basis of her connection to Hotaru alone, so the Valkyrie won't force any more into the light than the cards already have.

And as my heart applies the brakes
I reach across the empty bed

And I came to, walking on the train tracks
How did I get here? And how do I get back?

"She's right," Alys said gently, a small smile on her face. For all that the Valkyrie was not a seer, she saw to the heart of the matter just as easily as Alys. "Your effort is what makes all the difference. Our choices, our decisions - they may not be able to change the past, but they can change the future. Our lives are what we make of them, and what you choose to do defines you." And while she might not quite see the concern Sunjata has for the opinions of others, her words cut to the heart of the matter all the same. "We are masters of our own destiny, for better or worse. Try not to forget that."

And with that, she turned back to the cards. There was still one position to be read: the Future. Alys flipped over a card. "The Knight of Cups," she said, and she couldn't help some amusement from creeping into her tone. "Often seen as a card of romance. Being someone's 'knight in shining armor,' if you will." Her eyes flicked playfully to Hotaru's. "But more than that, this card represents one who has seen and done much, but has risen above romanticizing adventure. He longs for acceptance and peace, and he has come to a place in life where that is within his grasp. Within your grasp."

Alys tilted her head to one side, thoughtful. "It is interesting to have so many Major Arcana in your past and present, and yet the Minor Arcana have appeared for your future. The Major Arcana tend to deal with major events and change, the, shall we say, overarching themes of one's life. But the Minor Arcana deal more with the day-to-day lifestyle. It appears that you may be due a season of calm, at least in some regards."

I've been up all night, let's stay awake
Push it further, you know I'll never break

Alys

// maybe we're endless, maybe we're infinite //

He doesn’t entirely expect Hotaru’s voice to be so vocal, even despite the fact he’s closed off his feelings. And it’s enough to break through the harder exterior, his steel gaze glancing over to his lover with a soft apologetic smile creeping on the corners of his scarred face, listening as she follows it up through the bond that Alys can’t hear, and he figures he should perhaps be polite enough in informing the both of them (something that Hotaru already knows), of a bit more personal difficulties. Especially as Alys adds on, his attention flickering toward her with a brief glimmer of appreciation. “Hearing praise is… Difficult, with what I’ve been through.” Even if it wasn’t a direct praise, a simple you’re doing great, keep on keepin’ on was enough to have the Flood shy away. It was harder still to even give into it, to believe that it wasn’t people trying to placate him.

But more cards are spread and Sunjata’s got a rapt focus on them, managing a soft huff of a laugh and a nudge to Hotaru. Humor that fades to thoughtfulness as the truth is laid out and he has little to go off of but to believe it.

“It’s strange to think that I have had… A lot of large things occur that it’s difficult to imagine the simple day to day.” Always preparing for something more ever since he’d landed here and long before that. But he flashes Alys a softer smile, the mask loosening the second everything stops getting too close to draw his discomfort. “Ru keeps me grounded in that regard.” One step at a time, she’d said. They have the rest of their lives to figure things out.

SUNJATA

Hotaru

Outside the traffic lights
They turn from green to red

Alys’ approval makes Ru sit a little straighter, tamping down on her preening but not entirely successful. Sunjata, however, is quick to soften her and redirect her focus back to him - though it scarcely fully leaves. “It may be difficult, but until you can forgive yourself for certain things, at least praise yourself for what is undeniably positive; your dedication to change, for example.” Though she hopes that someday he will look back on those more grievous moments and forgive himself, first he needs to practice the baby steps of building the habit of praising himself at all.

Subsiding once more to allow Alys to continue her reading, though her cheeks go uncharacteristically pink when Sunjata nudges her, nudging him back and rolling her eyes fondly (though mostly so she doesn’t have to look at him and make the childish butterflies even worse). She has an image to uphold after all.

His sweetness always makes her fold though, his last comment making her turn soft eyes toward him, heedless of their company. No sassy comment comes to the tip of her tongue, rendered mute by his appreciation. Instead she can only smile and squeeze his hand, hoping to translate how happy she is to provide that for him every single day.

And as my heart applies the brakes
I reach across the empty bed

And I came to, walking on the train tracks
How did I get here? And how do I get back?

They were a good fit for each other, Alys decided, watching from beneath her lashes at their sweet exchange. She was surprised to find Ru's cheeks darken, her usually unflappable friend clearly flustered either by Sunjata's presence or, less likely, by the reading. Alys bit back a grin. There was no need for her friend to maintain any sort of facade, not when Alys could read into the situation more deeply than most. Still, the seer said nothing, turning her attention back to the cards as though to give the pair some semblance of privacy.

"The larger things may feel more overwhelming, but the small things are arguably the most important," she pointed out gently. "I think the cards are trying to remind you that big things will happen, but it's how to live through them - the daily choices you make - that are vital to deciding who you want to be." For it was indeed a choice, one that he would need to fight for each and every day.

Regarding the cards she'd laid out once more, Alys nodded once. "Do you have any questions?" she asked, dark eyes raising to rest on Sunjata. This was his reading, after all, and she'd often found that some of her best wisdom came not from the readings themselves, but from the questions her querents had afterwords.

I've been up all night, let's stay awake
Push it further, you know I'll never break

Alys

// maybe we're endless, maybe we're infinite //

Being faced with such confidence within him is yet another thing the Flood is unused to, so content with receiving criticism at every turn that to hear the two women here speak with praise for the little things he’s done, it soothes a decade long surface wound, something the Flood is unsure how to deal with other than pulse his appreciation for Hotaru through the bond, offering Alys a soft smile of understanding and gratitude.

“I believe it.” Sunjata murmurs gently, before he shakes his head to her question. He doesn’t have anything else to ask, content with the reading as it was even if parts of it had been difficult and hard, choosing instead to let the information settle while he stops taking up so much of their time to reconnect. “No, I think that’s everything.” He confirms, before glancing back at the cards briefly.

“You two have some catching up to do, though, I’m sure.” He’s content to settle there, nibbling at the snacks that Hotaru had brought, listening to them catch up for the remainder of time, starting this new chapter by enjoying the small things, such as this.

- FIN <333

SUNJATA