[SE] The weather outside is frightful

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

If only she was as calm and collected as Hadama... would she had managed to get herself into so many tangles? Maybe that stoicism equated to distance, and maybe that was the secret that kept Hadama from breaking. Perhaps that should be her answer to all that plagued her - to withdraw, to build walls, to keep her bleeding heart from her sleeve. She was tired of being hurt, tired of hurting others, tired of feeling. Better that it be nothing than this gaping hole where her heart once was.

But then, as Hadama spoke, she understood. He was anything but cold and unfeeling, no matter how patient and still and serene he might appear. Those qualities were not mutually exclusive.

So she squeezed the hand she still held in silent recognition that she was not the only one hurting, nor would it be fair to monopolize the conversation as if she was. Still, she wasn't sure what to say. "It doesn't seem fair, does it?" she said finally, her voice sad and hollow and pained. "Is it worth it?" She raised her eyes to Hadama's. "To keep trying, even when everything is just..." Her throat closed and she swallowed against the lump that appeared there. "Maybe we're better off standing alone."

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia