MAEA
Nice..? Not the word she would have chosen to describe the persistent warmth that bled through her chest like a sweet poison, despite her best efforts to ignore it. Nor did she think a paid stranger would let her relax in the slightest - how could she ever entrust herself to someone she didn't know? They were opposites, there, because Maea would rather spend all her nights alone than give herself over to something that wasn't real. Unable to do anything by half, she really didn't understand the ease with which people connected and parted over and over, as if they weren't leaving pieces of themselves behind. How could they stand it? How did they survive?
No, it had to be she who did it wrong, when she poured all of herself into even the slightest connection. Incapable of sharing, terrified of finding that hands that reached for her couldn't - or wouldn't - hold it all. What then would she do with the parts that spilled, with all the sentiment that had nowhere left to go? If only she could learn to give no more than was asked for...
But that wasn't her.
"I'll try," she sighed, burrowing deeper beneath the cover. "Good night, Harper." Forcing relaxation with deep breaths until the bed felt about to swallow her up and Harper's touch became a distant tingle in her hair, it was her mind that wouldn't stop churning. Babbling hysterically to her of foolishness and pride, of weakness and lack of boundaries, how she should have gone home to warm herself by a fire instead, because at least that wouldn't cause her any pain...
Minutes ticked by, threatening to turn into hours. Harper sang, beautiful songs she didn't dare listen too closely to, lest she begin to reach for things that wasn't there. And at some point she must have begun to doze off, when exhaustion finally overcame the nervous agitation, because her breath evened out and the pale, scarred hand slipped from Harper's hair onto the pillow in the space that yawned between them. Lines of tension eased from her features, and when she turned in her sleep she inched closer, unconsciously reaching for the warmth he radiated.
No, it had to be she who did it wrong, when she poured all of herself into even the slightest connection. Incapable of sharing, terrified of finding that hands that reached for her couldn't - or wouldn't - hold it all. What then would she do with the parts that spilled, with all the sentiment that had nowhere left to go? If only she could learn to give no more than was asked for...
But that wasn't her.
"I'll try," she sighed, burrowing deeper beneath the cover. "Good night, Harper." Forcing relaxation with deep breaths until the bed felt about to swallow her up and Harper's touch became a distant tingle in her hair, it was her mind that wouldn't stop churning. Babbling hysterically to her of foolishness and pride, of weakness and lack of boundaries, how she should have gone home to warm herself by a fire instead, because at least that wouldn't cause her any pain...
Minutes ticked by, threatening to turn into hours. Harper sang, beautiful songs she didn't dare listen too closely to, lest she begin to reach for things that wasn't there. And at some point she must have begun to doze off, when exhaustion finally overcame the nervous agitation, because her breath evened out and the pale, scarred hand slipped from Harper's hair onto the pillow in the space that yawned between them. Lines of tension eased from her features, and when she turned in her sleep she inched closer, unconsciously reaching for the warmth he radiated.
I'm bleeding out for you
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
