Reaching High

"Just because I could have been hurt doesn't make it anyone else's responsibility." Sam pointed out, speaking away from Remi as he tried out the ladder, stepping a couple of rungs up and then turning to sit on it, looking down at the other man. When he had the boost he was an inch or so taller and it was odd to see him from the new angle, was easier to see that he was handsome that Remi was someone just like him who could be just as hurt, just as lost. The apology caught him offguard. From what Sam knew Remi had made some mistakes, yes, but none so monumentally stupid as the one he could not remember making. "I..am sure you only mean words, which if I knew them I am sure I would forgive. I...I read my diaries. I know why I did what I did but Remi..." Sam sighed, looked off to the side, his fingers tensing on the rung of the ladder. "It was selfish and cruel. I..do not like to think of myself in that way. But it was, and...you need never apologise to me. Whatever..you could have done. It would not match up to my...to what I did." This was clearly difficult for Sam to say but seemed rehearsed. It was a shorter, impromptu version of the words he'd been whispering to himself every night since he'd read the diary entry. "...So..um..that you are helping me now. It's...I'm very grateful." Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness