Clinging to the ruin of your broken home, too lost and hurting to carry your load
You know we all need someone to hold
You know we all need someone to hold
It's true that he misunderstands her, but he's quite grateful that he has. So many people have quoted forgiveness to him that the word itself makes him itch beneath the skin. The fact that she is taking his side for once is a relief he didn't know he was looking for.
"You're right. But regardless of my choice, regardless of the fact I'm valid in my hurt and ability to end things, it stands to hurt her too. And it's difficult to put myself first." It always has been, and Phoebe knows that. "And considering she resigned but is still the former Queen, everything is so public. Jude has barely been home because it's affecting him so badly." Harper doesn't have the same liberty to escape as often, not now that he's ruling alongside Hadama. He tries not to let the public's opinion influence his pending decision, but it's difficult.
"I didn't assume that was your reasoning," he reassures with a slight shake of his dark curls. "I just...I'm sure you get it, but it's hard to feel I can ever see love in my future again if I end this. And that fear influences me to forgive her when perhaps I shouldn't. Trust is everything, but I don't think I can trust again if I move on." But, even beneath all his melancholy, Harper is an optimist, so he can't even say that and truly believe it. Huffing a sad excuse for a laugh, he smiles slightly. "At least not for a long time. And that makes me sad." Such a small word for how he feels. "I want to love someone. I want to have a family. But it just keeps crumbling." He doesn't mean to make her feel guilty if he does, not meaning her specifically. In fact he's deeply grateful that she has worked so hard to continue holding the ties of their family unit despite distance and time, never abandoning their son.
"You're right. But regardless of my choice, regardless of the fact I'm valid in my hurt and ability to end things, it stands to hurt her too. And it's difficult to put myself first." It always has been, and Phoebe knows that. "And considering she resigned but is still the former Queen, everything is so public. Jude has barely been home because it's affecting him so badly." Harper doesn't have the same liberty to escape as often, not now that he's ruling alongside Hadama. He tries not to let the public's opinion influence his pending decision, but it's difficult.
"I didn't assume that was your reasoning," he reassures with a slight shake of his dark curls. "I just...I'm sure you get it, but it's hard to feel I can ever see love in my future again if I end this. And that fear influences me to forgive her when perhaps I shouldn't. Trust is everything, but I don't think I can trust again if I move on." But, even beneath all his melancholy, Harper is an optimist, so he can't even say that and truly believe it. Huffing a sad excuse for a laugh, he smiles slightly. "At least not for a long time. And that makes me sad." Such a small word for how he feels. "I want to love someone. I want to have a family. But it just keeps crumbling." He doesn't mean to make her feel guilty if he does, not meaning her specifically. In fact he's deeply grateful that she has worked so hard to continue holding the ties of their family unit despite distance and time, never abandoning their son.
