{se} feels like I'm sleepwalking when you're gone

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

Once more this is a forked path, one they both need to choose to walk down the same side on. Yet she finds herself looking into his eyes, placidly waiting for his decision, and she realizes it’s because she has already made her own and is okay with whichever way he leans. It’s a new position to inhabit and one that provides a surprising amount of peace and surety. There is no wrong answer here, and she knows he’ll feel that lack of expectation and quiet reassurance on her side of the bond.

He tells her she’s right, but she isn’t sure which part of what she said that applies to, so there’s a moment of short surprise when he bends down to kiss her because it’s so chaste she isn’t sure what answer he has come to. Not until he grinds down against her, his weight an electrifyingly pleasant sensation as it pins her to the bed. Her head tosses back on a choked gasp, the first sound he has struck from her throat and one he’ll feel beneath his lips as he kisses down her neck. Both hands descend to his shoulders thoughtlessly, the easiest place to cling as pleasure slams back into her like waves against rocky cliffs, reigniting embers banked and tempered for the sake of conversation. “Fuck, Sunny,” she whispers, immediately overcome. She hasn’t been touched like this in years, always in control of any hookups, never allowing their hands or lips to linger or for them to control her pleasure. In light of that, she has no defenses against such simple but greedy touches, and it burns through her.

One hand tangles in his hair, thumb caressing the base of one horn while her legs come up to bracket his hips, aligning them more fully so that she can leverage herself up and grind back onto him. Part of her wants him to feel just as good, because of course she does, but another part has been trained into her brain to divert any attention away from herself and back into her partner so they can’t get too close. It’s undeniable that this will be the first time since leaving him years ago to have sex with emotions involved.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide