OLIVER
That...was something Oliver couldn't really think of a good response to. Amun did have a point, that he probably should be training properly rather than moping around here. "Once I feel calm and not like I'm going to accidentally hurt myself, I'll go to the training ground. That way I wont have to waste your time anymore." He practically spat out the last part, annoyed that every single time he and Amun spoke now, he just had to be treated like absolute shit. To think, he actually thought he was once attracted to the asshole. "You were at the festival, you didn't see anything that went down before the monster made it. I get that you think you're always right, but you're not."
Amun just continued to bother him. Making him feel like he could scream or throw a bucket of paint or something. "Do you really think I give a flying fuck about how I look anymore? Because guess what: I don't." While he did care about feeling attractive to himself, he was starting to care less and less about how other people thought. What was the point? The moment someone liked him, they'd find out he has a wooden dick and then that's it. No point in wasting his time with pleasing others with his looks only to be turned down by a wooden cock.
The last part was what broke him the most. The one that caused him to avert his eyes, staring down at his lap. He wanted to devote himself to Safrin, so show her how dedicated he was...but what if Amun had a point? That the gods didn't actually care about most of them. Oliver knew some of them were cherished and loved...but weren't they a select few? The elite who were handpicked by the gods, the only ones who actually deserved any love and attention. "I don't think we should blame them, Amun. You're right. I'm not worthy of their time. I am worth nothing but that doesn't mean I'll abandon my goddess...and I'm sorry for expecting you to as well." He did feel bad for what he said about the Voice, the comment just slipping out in his fury of anger. The gods only care for those who are helpful and meaningful, but clearly, Oliver and Amun were just two worthless pieces of shit.
Amun just continued to bother him. Making him feel like he could scream or throw a bucket of paint or something. "Do you really think I give a flying fuck about how I look anymore? Because guess what: I don't." While he did care about feeling attractive to himself, he was starting to care less and less about how other people thought. What was the point? The moment someone liked him, they'd find out he has a wooden dick and then that's it. No point in wasting his time with pleasing others with his looks only to be turned down by a wooden cock.
The last part was what broke him the most. The one that caused him to avert his eyes, staring down at his lap. He wanted to devote himself to Safrin, so show her how dedicated he was...but what if Amun had a point? That the gods didn't actually care about most of them. Oliver knew some of them were cherished and loved...but weren't they a select few? The elite who were handpicked by the gods, the only ones who actually deserved any love and attention. "I don't think we should blame them, Amun. You're right. I'm not worthy of their time. I am worth nothing but that doesn't mean I'll abandon my goddess...and I'm sorry for expecting you to as well." He did feel bad for what he said about the Voice, the comment just slipping out in his fury of anger. The gods only care for those who are helpful and meaningful, but clearly, Oliver and Amun were just two worthless pieces of shit.
I JUST WANT MY EXISTENCE
TO BE MORE THAN TREMBLING
TO BE MORE THAN TREMBLING
