and heres when it gets worse

Adam Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels Of course, Pet, being lovely and sweet and far too patient, came to hold him, to ask what was wrong; it stung. Adam wanted him to know what had happened right away, wanted him to be angry and to storm out and let the chapter end with a slam, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. This was going to tease a lot of hurt out of the both of them before it could be over. "I met Amalia. Out in the Wilds. She's...I don't know, some fucking glowing little gold star right up Vi's ass or some shit." Maybe that was bitter, but well, it was how he felt; the walk home had given him time to think over what she had said and get angry about it. Still, anger about Amalia was an easy, safe place, where he didn't have to tell Pet the rest of it - and he did have to tell him. It wasn't fair otherwise. Rubbing across his eyes roughly, he shook his head. "She uh...she ended up telling me about some dreams she had when I was gone. Dreams about me and her being together. Then she uh..." Adam managed to force his eyes to meet Pets. "Told me she loved me." He sat down on the floor, slumped and his gaze fell again, Adam unable to look at Pet for the rest of the story. "I told her...I told her I loved her too. Kissed her, fuck-" A lump came up in his throat as he remembered the moment before it all went to shit, and as he knew he was driving a knife into Pet's heart. "...It didn't work out, anyway. But thing is, I do love her, but I love you too? I don't know what's fucking real, or how I feel. I'm a fucking mess and I'm gonna end up breaking your heart...I already have - I'm gonna....aagghhhh." Having rambled himself into a corner, Adam let his head sink into his hands. But I am just a broken machine And I do things that I don't really mean