the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

but the darker the weather, the better the man

you can take all you want

He had nearly always been in a hurry – a flood to devour and yet she’d calmed the waters. Blocked him against a dam and let the waves roll casually with a brief stirring of the wind. And it’s like that as he remains, letting her fully explore, almost like that day at the river when he’d tried to get her to do this. Now she is, and he settles and stills beneath her gaze, letting her eat him up with that very same feline smile along his face. The light filters in, illuminating half of him, fingers and claws languidly stroking her hips gently while she continues her focus.

”You.” She says, and his smile shifts toward something like a smirk.

Her hands trail up and down his arms, relieving some of the tension there, calming and quelling beneath her touch and her kisses grow a bit more explorative, lips and tongue trailing along his collarbones and the panes of his chest, skin bronze and scarred and salty from the day and their activities. He could absolutely get used to this, he thinks.

His head lifts a small amount to give her more room, resting the back of it against the wall as he closes his eyes, preferring to keep it a secret where she plans to go next – though his hands remain at her hips, keeping her from drifting too far even if he didn’t think she held any plans for it.

but not who i am

SuNJATA

You're so cold

but you feel alive

A glance up at his face showed him leaned back, eyes closed and with the trace of a smile on his lips. Maea smiled too, rather smug to know he was enjoying this as much as she was.

"You probably hear this all the time, but... you really are handsome," Maea said, almost shyly, flushing a little despite his closed eyes, despite being able to hide her expression away against his chest. Keeping her lips against his skin, the words came out muffled, tone warm and very soft. "I never told you before... but I think you are. I used to look at you, before. When you were working at the bar. Before the river too, but especially afterwards. Just because it was nice to look at you."

Her hands moved down his arms to where his hands rested on her hips, and gently she tried to lift them away, so she could move the gentle massage to his hands. Her thumbs working the muscles of his palms, in slow, circular moves. Tender, loving, hoping to make him relax.

"I especially like your eyes. The way they seem to change color with your mood. How bright they become when you smile... I'm glad I get to see that more often, these days."

Maea hovered close as she spoke, her bare torso just brushing against his. As she shifted, her breasts stroked against his chest, tightening the nipples again; she wondered if he felt it. If it did anything, to hear her confessions.

Releasing his hands carefully, she moved her hands in behind his back instead. Resumed the careful, soothing massage along the muscles from the back of his hips and up towards the shoulders, trying to be mindful of his healing wounds and not press too hard.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

but the darker the weather, the better the man

you can take all you want

He absolutely is enjoying this. And when she begins to speak, his smile shifts to something a small amount brighter – though he remains in the same position, eyes still closed. “I don’t quite get the term handsome all that often.” He murmurs quietly. “I get tall, dark, and stormy, quite a lot, however.” A gentle playful tease, but he enjoys it all the same.

Her lips remain against his skin as she offers more confession, and his head leans down a small amount toward her to watch her. “Mm, well, I suppose it helps I tower over nearly everyone. It’s hard to miss me.” Though he understands the words, he’s never quite been good at taking compliments. He’s trying to be better, but it’s easier to simply ignore the attempts and taking them to heart, though it does fill his ego a fair amount more with it.

Her hands massage his arms, and he gives into her when she tries to lift them away – taking his hands in her own. She speaks of his eyes, and he raises a small brow toward her with it. “It's because of you. You brought out the light in them.” A quiet comment as she hovers near, and he can feel her drag herself against him, enough to stir a buzzing in his blood again and he swallows hard against it – wanting to remain there and let her explore and test him however she wished to.

He leans away from the wall a small amount to let her have more room to work with, his own finding their way back to her, fingers threading through pale hair and stroking gently, calloused thumbs running gently against the back of her neck with each rise and fall of his hands.

but not who i am

SuNJATA

You're so cold

but you feel alive

He responded, and she did not interrupt him, even when his words turned a little self deprecating. Just kept doing what she did, massaging his back, her mouth moving to offer attention to the other shoulder, the other collarbone, to the swell of his chest muscles there. Licking slowly, tasting and imprinting the layout of his body into her memory.

"It helps that you are tall," she acknowledged, "but it's more than that. There is an air about you, that draw people in. When you look at someone, it feels like we are given your whole, full, undivided attention. It makes you feel special. I suppose," she mused, quiet and thoughtful, "that it's easy to be repelled by it too, if that attention is unwanted. Either way, no one is left unaffected by your presence."  And the warm way she said it implied that it was a good thing.

Wasn't that why so many were drawn to him? Wished to be close, desired to become special to him. Have a place in his heart. And he said she was the reason why his eyes were so much lighter now... Maea smiled. Kissed the space over his heart, carefully avoiding to touch the arrow tattoo with her lips. A bit jealous that another woman had claimed that space. And didn't that prove her point?

"I do like how tall you are too," she continued. Stroking his ego like her hands stroked his back, her words caressing him just as gently. Trying to worm her way into his mind. "You are hard to miss. Hard to ignore, very hard to forget. I tried, for a time... but it wasn't easy when you were always around. Some nights... I lay awake, thinking about you. Wondering if you would be there, if I left my room. What would happen if you were..." It had been very tempting to find out. And yet... she had never dared.

Her fingers had begun to trail lower down again; she dragged her nails across his skin, feather light across his lower back, out across his hips.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

but the darker the weather, the better the man

you can take all you want

She gives him all of the attention, and the longer it goes on the more he wonders when the last time he’d received such undivided attention in this way was. Where sex had simply been an addition, not a goal, to simply remain within each other’s embrace after, speaking those sweet nothings. So he draws quiet as she continues on, filling up that ego of his and burning within it all the same – wanting to find something wrong with it, so unused to being praised in such a way.

When was the last time he’d heard something nice like this?

So he listens, focusing on her as she comments about how he looks, that gaze that’s easy to trap and pin where others may have faltered. And he supposes she’s right, figures that he nearly always tries to include everyone when he can, to drift his attention between everyone – evidenced in the event of the bar when he’d been married and poor Libbs had hopped over the bar to hide away from Harper before passing out.

His hands remain trailing through her hair, watching her, acknowledging what it is she says. “Some nights I wish you did.” He says softly, quietly, thoughtfully before he leans against her gentle touch, her soft strokes along his hips and lower back. “What did you think would happen if you did?” He asks clearly interested. “Late at night, just us? I probably would’ve been working on inventory or cleaning up…” He trails off, head tilting as he focuses on her, acutely attuned to her touch.

but not who i am

SuNJATA

You're so cold

but you feel alive

His hands kept stroking her hair, trailing fingers through it, down her neck. She leaned into the touch, hummed as she considered the question. Her hands moved forward, brushing those gentle fingers over his sides, forward, to his stomach.

"I pictured us talking for a bit. Maybe I would help you with the chores for a while... but they would be forgotten. Or finished up, and then... we would drift closer. Like usual. Just a touch on a shoulder or a cheek - " her hand came up and brushed knuckles softly over his jaw, to illustrate " - and then... I'd get lost in your gaze. And I thought - I hoped - that maybe... you would kiss me again." Her voice was growing fainter as she wove the tale, painting the picture for him to see. Maea's cheeks were a little red, embarrassed to reveal her fantasies like this, but... she wanted him to know.

"I know I kept drawing lines, and making rules... but I really wanted you, all the time," she admitted. "Sometimes... I wanted to just give in. Let you show me what the 'fun' was that you talked about. You said you wanted to show me... and I really wanted to know."

Her own blood was heating again, from talking like this. Pale fingers trembled slightly where they traced the lines of his abs, but she didn't falter, or stop. Had a plan, an idea... and she was getting there. Working her way towards it, stroke by stroke. Word for word. She looked up, sought his gaze even though hers shuddered a bit. Remebering the shyness of those early days... still feeling it, deep within.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

but the darker the weather, the better the man

you can take all you want

She leans into the touch, of his trailing hands that flit through pale hair, down and down, up and up, and he shifts a small amount to lean back against the wall again and give her more space to trace the lines of his stomach, the dips and curves and scars found there. His gaze lingers on her, quiet and watchful, searching for any shift in her attention, any flickers of emotion within her face.

She explains a soft touch, shoulder or cheek, brushing her own over the stubble of his jaw and he smirks to her. “I am a bit touchy.” He agrees quietly, shrugging lightly to that. But his smirk falters a small amount as she mentions that she’d want him to kiss her again – and gods how he had wanted to. But she’d drawn that line in the sand, hard and strong and he had tried to follow through with it, however difficult it had become.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want the title of your first.” He rumbles a bit offhandedly, giving her yet another feline smile to replace the faltering one. He absolutely refrains from mentioning how many firsts he’d taken, those particular notches relatively high as well. So he lets her shyness bleed through, gives her the honesty of what he can. “And when Nate bit you, we weren’t really anything at that point but I was surprisingly jealous.” A raise of his brow to that, to see if she had noticed, waiting with a soft breath to see how she takes it.

He typically wasn’t the jealous type, but it simply reaffirmed the fact that he held feelings for her that he tried to push away.

but not who i am

SuNJATA

You're so cold

but you feel alive

Maea was the jealous type. Very much so. And it was a good thing indeed that he refrained from mentioning those others, because it would not have ended well. Of course she was aware of them - there had to be more than a few, given how easily he had guided her through her first time - but like shadows at his feet, they did not bother her. Only when given faces and names did they haunt her.

"And you claimed it, too," she hummed, smiling back at him, her eyes growing slightly hazy as she thought of that night. When she'd finally given in, too tired of fighting against her own desires... But her smile faltered when he brought up Nate, the name like a crash of glass hitting the floor in her mind. Jarring. Not belonging here, in this room, in this house. Her hands stilled, fingers digging into his sides, possessively; biting her lip, Maea looked down, couldn't quite meet his gaze.

"I thought... you were jealous over him. That he wasn't... biting you." Her jaw worked, shifting as she tried to settle her own emotions. "It made me jealous. I didn't... like the way you looked at each other." And she was quite sure she knew what happened once she fled that room, though she didn't want to think of it. Wasn't sure she wanted to know what might have happened if she'd stayed, either. Though... the color rising on her cheeks suggested she was thinking about it.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

but the darker the weather, the better the man

you can take all you want

The smirk he gives her is almost as if it’s a badge he wears, adding to that cocky arrogance within him – at least until her fingers still as he speaks of Nate. His gaze focusing through any haze onto her to see what shifts the emotions within her. And she looks down, avoiding his gaze, and his brows furrow a small amount as he remains, his own fingers stilling in her hair to cup the back of her head gently. “I won’t lie to you and say I don’t like Ascended bites.” He says slowly at first, even if it’s not the right thing to say. It’s honest.

“But no, that wasn’t the reason why.” He says a bit gentler this time, listening when she tells him that she had been jealous because of the way they’d looked at one another. And he understands, leaning back against the wall a small amount to see the blush creeping over her cheeks. “He and I… Well.” He trails off, gaze flitting about the room, their room. “We had a thing but it was purely for fun and to pass the time. Evidently we both fucked up our relationships with that checkup. And you were still pissed at me.” It had made them touchy, seeking each other out at the very least, Sunjata having no other way to find that sort of release with the drive within him that she’s well aware of now.

Yet, he finds deep within him that if Nate goes rampaging through Caido biting everyone else, he’d care very little, so long as it wasn’t her.

But then a thought occurs to him, and his gaze finds her face again, scanning over the pale lines within it. “Have you… Had any recent checkups with him?” A tentative question, a tilt of his head, nothing within his gaze to find that would poise jealousy, just purely informative.

but not who i am

SuNJATA

You're so cold

but you feel alive

Purely for fun. The slight frown on her face as she looked up, searching his gaze, showed that she didn't understand that. He could like the bites all he wanted, but to keep going back to the same person like that... wasn't there more to it than just 'fun' at that point?

"How can it be just for fun?" she even asked, and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaned against him - too distracted to continue the game just yet, her mood disrupted by this talk of others. "And no, I haven't. I ran into him a few days after the festival, and we talked about my condition, but that's all.

"He... was acting oddly though," she admitted. "Kept touching me, on the shoulder, and my arms.... No checkup though. I've been feeling fine with Loren's healing, there was no need." She sounded a little uneasy at the memory, recalling the tension she'd felt. Unsure of what was going on.

Looking up, she met his gaze though, and saw the way he looked at her. Searching. "Why do you ask?"

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

but the darker the weather, the better the man

you can take all you want

How can it be just for fun? Well… He contemplates it for a brief moment, feeling her wrap her arms around him and look up at him, his gaze finding her own. “I don’t connect with him like I do with you.” He begins, because it’s true. He didn’t love Nate, but gods if he didn’t love what Nate did to him. “It’s different. I, uh…” He pauses to huff a small amount of laughter. “I very much like to be the one in charge and Nate’s the only one that’s challenged that. Handled me the way I handle you.” His brow raises, amusement fading at the seriousness of it.

“But I don’t love him like I love you. He’s just a friend and a member of my guild that before you and I got together, we just enjoyed each other’s company. A different sort of love, I guess, with no attachments on either of our ends.” His broad shoulders rise and fall in a small shrug. But he listens intently when she mentions she ran into him a few days after the festival, how he’d acted oddly but they’d not delved into it – and somehow, despite it all, there’s a brief ghost of a smile that crosses his face at the mention of being touchy. Because Nate usually was touchy, and Sunjata had learned this.

She meets his gaze and he finds her own, searching for some hidden answer there. And when he doesn’t find it, he focuses on her question. “Well, because what if? What if either of us need a checkup, what then?” He recalls the way she’d nearly lost control, would have let Nate do whatever he wanted to her had he not been there. Knows for a fact that he’d absolutely let Nate do whatever he wanted to him given the chance with those fangs within his neck. He frowns lightly at the thought. “I won’t want to stop him.” A quiet admission that he hopes won’t sour her mood, won’t prevent him from being around his guildmate, his doctor.

but not who i am

SuNJATA

You're so cold

but you feel alive

This conversation... was really not going the way Maea had hoped. Her questions led them onto territory she found very painful to even think about. As he explained how he had, but really did not have, a relation with Nate, she began to feel very odd standing there. Half undressed, him entirely so, talking about... someone else. How he liked someone else touching him... and his assurances that it wasn't love, what he had with the Ascended, did not quite reach her. Because, what else could it be? Maea definitely wasn't convinced, and it showed.

Maea withdrew slightly, and brought the dress back up over her chest, feeling suddenly very exposed. And when Sunjata admitted he wouldn't want Nate to stop, she tensed up. Couldn't quite seem to breathe, because gods, that hurt.

"Would you stop him?" she asked, unable to bring herself to look at him. Expression stiff, locked in some attempt at calm... but really, she didn't even fool herself.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA

but the darker the weather, the better the man

you can take all you want

She withdraws slightly, and her body language shifts – just enough that he leans back a bit more against the wall to give her space. Her question, however, is met with his heart hammering in his chest – knowing that he would be powerless to it, giving in immediately when Nate took that bite. But he’d also promised to be honest to her, and he can’t lie to her about it after that, not when he’d brought it up in the first place anyway.

He shakes his head slowly. “Maea… You know what it’s like, the bite.” He begins, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck, his scarred wrist angled her way unknowingly to him. “I would try once I got my bearings back, yes, but immediately? No. I won’t lie to you.” He says quietly, voice softening the longer it goes on. His gaze flits along her face for a reaction, waiting for her to erupt as he fumbles for more to say.

It was how his marriage ended, after all. Asking for more, prolonging the bite until it became something far more than just a routine checkup.

“And that’s entirely my fault, because you know that I’m weak to giving into that.” He wouldn’t have had so many partners if it wasn’t something he was addicted to, after all. “And it has nothing to do with what’s between us. It’s been my escape, for a lot of things, and I’ve not needed one since we got together because you’ve been there.” He says quietly, gaze darkening a small amount, knowing it’s not what she wants to hear. “You give me everything that I need or want, far more than anyone else has. But I also know what I'm like, and I focus too hard on those feelings wanting the release.” Like that time she had taunted him, preventing him from finishing when he'd worshiped her, and he'd surprised her by starting the process himself.

but not who i am

SuNJATA

You're so cold

but you feel alive

She listened. But this time, though she let him speak his mind as always, Maea still didn't look at him. And rather than relax into what he said, like she had so many times before, she tensed. More and more with each word, until she stood there, mere inches away from him, but wrapped in her own arms and a solitude so dense it was almost tangible.  

Because. All she heard was how Sunjata contradicted everything he'd told her before. Everything he said now too, because... how could it work like that?

"You said I was enough," she replied, very weakly, her voice shaking. Breathing was painful, her whole chest constricting with the ache in her heart. Or was it her soul? "You said... and yet... how can you say it would have nothing to do with what's between us? When it would have everything to do with us, if you let someone else touch you like that."

Finally she did look up, and there was something deeply wounded in her gaze. There were no tears, although her jaw trembled... but perhaps it would have been better if there were. Because this seemed somehow worse. Some deeper pain that leaky eyes couldn't help.

lay your hands on me

one last time

MAEA